“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.” – Jim Carrey
“If a man says something in the woods, and there’s no woman there to hear it, is he still wrong?” – Unknown
“Love is sharing your popcorn.” – Charles Schultz
“Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.” – Jules Renard
“My wife gets all the money I make. I just get an apple and clean clothes every morning.” – Ray Romano
“Marriage is like a game of chess, except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke, and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome.” – Jerry Seinfeld
“A good marriage is one where each partner secretly suspects they got the better deal.” – Unknown
“Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing.” – Natasha Leggero
“My wife told me I should be more affectionate. So now I have two girlfriends.” – Unknown
“Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn’t show on X-rays, but you know it’s there.” – George Burns
“I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” – Rita Rudner LOVE YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART QUOTES
“The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.” – E. Joseph Cossman
“Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch.” – Cathy Carlyle
“Love is sharing your remote control.” – Bruce Lansky
“Marriage is like vitamins: we supplement each other’s minimum daily requirements.” – Kathy Mohnke
“By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.” – Socrates
“I love you just the way you are, but you don’t have to stay that way.” – Unknown
“Love is being stupid together.” – Paul Valery
“Marriage is about finding someone who can tolerate your weirdness, accept your flaws, and still think you’re amazing.” – Unknown
“Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it’s probably crap.” – Unknown