“I always find that life is more enjoyable when I’m barely keeping it together.” – Unknown

“I’m not late. I’m just chronologically challenged.” – Unknown

“I can resist everything except temptation…and pancakes.” – Unknown

“My life is like a romantic comedy, just without the romance and the comedy.” – Unknown

“I wasn’t sad; but then I saw a bag of cookies and realized I didn’t have one.” – Unknown

“I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.” – Unknown

“If there’s no chocolate in Heaven, I’m not going.” – Unknown

“I just lost my mind. I’m pretty sure the squirrels took it.” – Unknown

“I walked into a door this morning. Just trying to be rebellious. Doors hate me.” – Unknown

“I’m not lazy, I’m just highly motivated to do nothing.” – Unknown

“Some people just need a high-five, in the face, with a chair.” – Unknown

“I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.” – Unknown

“I don’t need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off!” – Unknown

“Marriage is like a walk in the park – a Jurassic Park.” – Unknown

“They say laughter is the best medicine. Clearly, they haven’t tried chocolate.” – Unknown INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES ABOUT NEEDING HELP

“I’m not arguing, I’m simply explaining why I’m right.” – Unknown

“I’m not clumsy, it’s just the floor hates me, the tables and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.” – Unknown

“I wish that my bank account wasn’t the only thing that could make me smile.” – Unknown

“I don’t have a dirty mind, I have a sexy imagination.” – Unknown

“I’m great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.” – Unknown

“If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s hiding my emotions. Just kidding, I’m a total mess.” – Unknown

“I don’t need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.” – Unknown

“My life is a constant battle between wanting to be alone and not wanting to be lonely.” – Unknown

“I don’t need a therapist, I have sarcasm.” – Unknown

“I’m not sure if life is passing me by or trying to run me over.” – Unknown

“My life is like a book, but instead of chapters, it’s just a constant stream of awkward moments.” – Unknown

“I can’t adult today. Please, don’t make me adult.” – Unknown

“I don’t have a problem with caffeine. I have a problem without it.” – Unknown