FUNNY SARCASTIC CHRISTMAS QUOTES

“I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, but if the white runs out, I’ll drink the red.” – Unknown

“Christmas is the season when you buy this year’s gifts with next year’s money.” – Unknown

“The best way to spread Christmas cheer is to sing loud for all to hear. Or just hand out cookies. Cookies are always a good idea.” – Unknown

“All I want for Christmas is for my family to stop talking about politics.” – Unknown

“Santa Claus has the right idea – visit people only once a year.” – Victor Borge

“Christmas calories don’t count, right? Otherwise, I’m in trouble.” – Unknown

“The only thing we have to fear on Christmas is wrapping presents.” – Unknown

“Who needs snow when you have Netflix?” – Unknown

“I’m only a morning person on December 25th.” – Unknown

“The awkward moment when Santa has the same wrapping paper as your parents.” – Unknown

“I’m dreaming of a silent Christmas… Just kidding, I have kids.” – Unknown

“Christmas is like a job: you do all the work and some fat guy in a suit gets all the credit.” – Unknown

“Don’t get your tinsel in a tangle.” – Unknown

“Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year… Okay, most of the time… Once in a while… Whatever, I’ll buy my own presents.” – Unknown

“There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he doesn’t believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus.” – Bob Phillips WWW FUNNY QUOTES AND SAYINGS

“My Christmas gift to you is the ability to tolerate your family.” – Unknown

“The Christmas spirit is alive and well… as long as the WiFi is working.” – Unknown

“Christmas is the time when everyone wants their past forgotten and their present remembered.” – Phyllis Diller

“I put so much thought into your Christmas gift that I forgot to buy it.” – Unknown

“The best thing about the holiday season is that it gives you a legitimate excuse to have a glass of eggnog at any time of day.” – Unknown

“Christmas: the time when everyone says, ‘I can’t believe it’s already here!’ and I’m just over here like, ‘I can’t believe how long this year has been!'” – Unknown

“The only holiday weight I’m worried about is the weight of all the presents I’m about to receive.” – Unknown

“Merry Christmas! May all your numerous credit card bills be forgotten.” – Unknown

“Christmas is a time when people of all religions come together to share gifts and complain about their in-laws.” – Unknown

“Christmas is the season of joy, laughter, and exchanging gifts – or as I like to call it, ‘making Amazon rich.'” – Unknown

“The only reason I have clean floors during the holidays is because my kids are constantly tracking in fake snow.” – Unknown

“Christmas is a time for forgiveness, unless someone eats the last slice of pie. Then it’s war.” – Unknown

“The most magical part of Christmas is watching someone else cook while you enjoy the feast.” – Unknown