FUNNY SARCASTIC MOTIVATIONAL QUOTES

“I’m not a motivational speaker. I’m a demotivational speaker. I have a knack for bringing people down so they can build themselves back up, only stronger and more disappointed.” ― Anonymous

“If at first, you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.” ― Steven Wright

“Motivation is like coffee, sometimes you need a strong one, and other times you just end up spilling it all over yourself.” ― Anonymous

“If you can’t be a good example, then you’ll just have to be a horrible warning.” ― Catherine Aird

“Don’t worry about failures, worry about the chances you miss when you don’t even try. Or just stay in bed all day, it’s your call.” ― Anonymous

“Hey, you can do it! Or not, I mean it’s your life and who am I to tell you what to do?” ― Anonymous

“Behind every successful person, there’s a lot of unsuccessful years. So maybe you’re just in the middle of your success story, or maybe you’re just not successful.” ― Anonymous

“Believe in yourself and all that you are worth, because in the grand scheme of things, it probably doesn’t matter anyway.” ― Anonymous

“Opportunity does not knock, it presents itself when you beat down the door. Or just stand there waiting forever because you’re too lazy to get up.” ― Kyle Chandler

“If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.” ― Dalai Lama

“The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one. Then imagine yourself without pants. It’s a good motivator for not getting fired.” ― Anonymous

“Don’t watch the clock; do what it does. Keep going until you run out of batteries or someone yells at you to stop.” ― Sam Levenson TOP ANNIVERSARY QUOTES

“The only way to do great work is to love what you do. Or find something you can tolerate for eight hours a day and pray for the weekends.” ― Anonymous

“Success is not the key to happiness. If it were, I would be smiling all the time while sipping champagne on a private island. But here I am, living in reality.” ― Anonymous

“Don’t be afraid to give up the good to go for the great. Or just settle for mediocre and live a life of regret. It’s your choice.” ― Anonymous

“The future depends on what we do in the present. So if you want a great future, I suggest investing in a time machine.” ― Anonymous

“The harder you work, the luckier you get. But let’s be honest, luck has more to do with winning the lottery than your career.” ― Anonymous

“Success is not in what you have but who you are. So if you’re a garbage collector, you must be pretty successful.” ― Anonymous

“The best revenge is massive success. Or just feeling smugly satisfied when someone who doubted you fails.” ― Frank Sinatra

“Believe you can and you’re halfway there. Or just lie to yourself and hope for the best.” ― Theodore Roosevelt

“I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination. Or I can just stay home and watch Netflix.” ― Jimmy Dean

“The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary. Or in the occasional office where nepotism is rampant.” ― Vidal Sassoon

“The harder you work, the luckier you get. So if you win the lottery, congratulations, you’re the luckiest hard worker I know.” ― Anonymous