FUNNY SARCASTIC QUOTES ABOUT LIFE

“Life is like a roller coaster – full of ups, downs, and always leaving you feeling a little queasy.”

“I don’t need a hairstylist, I need a miracle worker.”

“If there’s a will, there’s a relative.”

“I’m not lazy, I’m just on my energy-saving mode.”

“Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.”

“I’m not clumsy, I’m just allergic to gravity.”

“I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times, just to be sure.”

“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style – just kidding, I’ll settle for Netflix and snacks.”

“Life is too short to be taken seriously. Laugh at yourself, or someone else will.”

“Sometimes I wish life had subtitles, so I would know what the heck is going on.”

“I put my phone in airplane mode, but it’s not flying. Worst. Airplane. Ever.” GOOD QUOTES TO MAKE SOMEONE HAPPY

“I’m not a player, I just crush a lot… of potato chips.”

“My life is a constant battle between my love for food and my fear of becoming fat.”

“I speak fluent sarcasm, but only when I’m asleep.”

“Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it. And by ‘react,’ I mean complain and eat chocolate.”

“I’m not weird, I’m a limited edition.”

“Life is like a box of chocolates. It’s messy, melts easily, and makes a big mess in your car.”

“I’m not a complete idiot – some parts are missing.”

“I would lose weight, but I don’t like losing.”

“Life is like a pizza. You have to eat the crust to get to the good stuff, but sometimes the crust is just disappointing.”