“Life is like a roller coaster – full of ups, downs, and always leaving you feeling a little queasy.”
“I don’t need a hairstylist, I need a miracle worker.”
“If there’s a will, there’s a relative.”
“I’m not lazy, I’m just on my energy-saving mode.”
“Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.”
“I’m not clumsy, I’m just allergic to gravity.”
“I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times, just to be sure.”
“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style – just kidding, I’ll settle for Netflix and snacks.”
“Life is too short to be taken seriously. Laugh at yourself, or someone else will.”
“Sometimes I wish life had subtitles, so I would know what the heck is going on.”
“I put my phone in airplane mode, but it’s not flying. Worst. Airplane. Ever.” GOOD QUOTES TO MAKE SOMEONE HAPPY
“I’m not a player, I just crush a lot… of potato chips.”
“My life is a constant battle between my love for food and my fear of becoming fat.”
“I speak fluent sarcasm, but only when I’m asleep.”
“Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it. And by ‘react,’ I mean complain and eat chocolate.”
“I’m not weird, I’m a limited edition.”
“Life is like a box of chocolates. It’s messy, melts easily, and makes a big mess in your car.”
“I’m not a complete idiot – some parts are missing.”
“I would lose weight, but I don’t like losing.”
“Life is like a pizza. You have to eat the crust to get to the good stuff, but sometimes the crust is just disappointing.”