FUNNY SHORT BIO QUOTES

“I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode.”

“I put the ‘fun’ in dysfunctional.”

“I’m not always sarcastic, sometimes I’m asleep.”

“I don’t have a dirty mind, I have a sexy imagination.”

“I’m not a doctor, but I can definitely give you a dose of laughter.”

“I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.”

“I’m not clumsy, I’m just jumping for joy on invisible trampolines.”

“I should win an award for multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.”

“I’m not short, I’m concentrated awesome.”

“The only thing more dangerous than me with a plan is me with a glue gun.”

“I may have a short attention span, but I’m really good at focusing on nonsense.” BEAUTIFUL QUOTES FOR DP

“I’m not bossy, I just know what you should be doing.”

“I don’t need anger management, I need people to stop making stupid decisions.”

“I don’t have a funny bone, I have a whole funny skeleton.”

“I don’t make mistakes, I make spontaneous creative decisions.”

“I’m not crazy, my reality is just different from yours.”

“If sarcasm was a sport, I’d be an Olympic gold medalist.”

“I’m not lazy, I’m just conserving energy for future endeavors.”

“I’m not stubborn, my way is just better.”

“I’m not a psychopath, I’m just really good at hiding the bodies… of my impulse purchases.”

“I don’t need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.”