“I’m not fat, I’m just easy to see.”

“I’m not overweight, I’m under height.”

“I love food so much, I decided to make it a permanent part of my life.”

“I don’t have a six-pack, but I do have a keg.”

“I don’t sweat, I sparkle!”

“I may be fat, but you’re ugly, and I can always go on a diet.”

“I don’t need a beach body, I just need a body that can take me to the beach.”

“I have a shape, it’s called ‘circle’.”

“My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. It’s called lunch.”

“I think my body is in a long-term relationship with pizza.”

“I tried to lose weight, but it keeps finding me.”

“I have mixed drinks about feelings…and food.”

“Eating a balanced diet means having a slice of cake in each hand.”

“My body is not a temple, it’s an amusement park.”

“I enjoy long romantic walks… to the fridge.” MEMORY QUOTES ABOUT FRIENDS

“I don’t always eat salad, but when I do, it’s usually a pizza.”

“I’m not fat, I’m just horizontally challenged.”

“I don’t need a personal trainer, I need someone to follow me around and slap the unhealthy foods out of my hand.”

“I don’t go to the gym, I go to the refrigerator.”

“I’m on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it.”

“I’m not fat, I’m energy efficient.”

“I don’t have a thigh gap, I have a snack pocket.”

“When life gives you lemons, ask for something fried instead.”

“I have a love-hate relationship with my body. I love food, and my body hates me for it.”

“I’m not fat, I’m Fluffily Toned.”

“Eating healthy is hard, especially when unhealthy food tastes so good.”

“I have a speed bump installed in my kitchen to slow me down between the fridge and the pantry.”

“I may be thick, but I’m also quick… to order dessert!”