FUNNY THREATENING QUOTES

“I’m sorry, did I accidentally summon my alter ego, the Hulk, just now?”

“Be careful, I have a black belt in sarcasm and I’m not afraid to use it.”

“Mess with me and you’ll be the subject of my next strongly-worded email.”

“I’m so determined to prank you that I bought an extra roll of toilet paper just for your house.”

“Touch my food and I’ll give you a demonstration on how to use a fork as a weapon.”

“Cross me and I’ll curse you with an endless supply of bad luck and tangled headphones.”

“If you think my patience is paper-thin, wait till you see my tolerance for annoying people.”

“Remember, I’m not just witty with words, I’m also skilled in the art of silent stares.”

“I’ve got a five-year plan, and revenge is right at the top.”

“I may forgive, but that doesn’t mean I won’t whip out my ‘I Told You So’ dance.”

“Don’t underestimate me – I may look harmless, but I have a collection of embarrassing photos ready for blackmail purposes.”

“You might wanna reconsider crossing me, unless you want me to sprinkle your shoes with glitter that never comes off.”

“I’m 99% angel, but that 1% would gladly put your name on the naughty list.”

“I’m like a cat, I always land on my feet – and by ‘land,’ I mean find ways to get even.”

“Life made me sweet, but you’re pushing the ‘break in case of emergency’ button.” TREASURE FRIENDSHIP QUOTES

“Just a friendly warning: I have the power to turn any situation into an awkward one. Proceed with caution.”

“Apologies in advance if I accidentally ‘unintentionally’ give you a minor electric shock with my doorknob.”

“I’m not saying I’m Batman, but nobody has ever seen Batman and me in the same room before…”

“Keep poking the bear, and you’ll eventually get a sarcastic reply and a bear hug, simultaneously.”

“Just a heads up, my superhero alter ego is ‘Captain Sarcasm.’ You’ve been warned.”

“You might wanna sleep with one eye open. Just saying.”

“I’m the kind of person who could trip over a cordless phone, so imagine what I could do to someone who actually deserves it.”

“I’m like a volcano of sass – give me a reason, and I’ll erupt with sarcasm and lava.”

“Keep testing my patience and I’ll invent a language where all the words mean ‘your face’.”

“Don’t test me; I have a PhD in comebacks.”

“I’m not saying I’m always right, but I am too stubborn to ever consider the possibility of being wrong.”

“I have a master’s degree in witty retorts – would you like me to explain the syllabus to you?”

“Just a friendly reminder that I can make even the corniest joke come back to haunt you.”