“Love is like a fart, if you have to force it, it’s probably crap!”

“Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than having dinner with you!”

“Valentine’s Day is just a reminder that, yes, you’re still single.”

“Love is a grave mental disease.” – Plato

“Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you…but the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl’s empty, and so is your head!”

“I’m not single, I’m just in a long-term relationship with freedom!”

“Love is a two-way street, but I’m in the carpool lane.”

“Let’s celebrate Valentine’s Day in a way that doesn’t involve filing restraining orders.”

“Valentine’s Day: when flowers are priced like they’re made of gold and restaurants are booked like it’s the end of the world.”

“Love means never having to say, ‘What do you want to eat?'”

“I love you more than chocolate…and that’s saying a lot!”

“Valentine’s Day is just another day for me to disappoint people with my erratic behavior.”

“I’m so glad we’re both poor, so we can celebrate Valentine’s Day in the most romantic way possible…at home.”

“If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?” I HAVE NO ONE TO SHARE MY FEELINGS QUOTES

“I hope your Valentine’s Day is less disappointing than your New Year’s resolutions!”

“I’m like Cupid, but instead of arrows, I have sarcasm.”

“Roses are red, violets are blue, they say love is blind, but not as blind as you!”

“I love you even when I’m hungry.”

“Valentine’s Day is the perfect time to remind someone that you’re still stalking them on social media.”

“Love is sharing your popcorn…even when it’s the last piece!”

“I’m sorry I forgot to get you a Valentine’s Day gift, but do you really need another stuffed animal?”

“Cupid rhymes with stupid for a reason.”

“Valentine’s Day: the only day where it’s acceptable to eat an entire box of chocolates by yourself.”

“I love you more than my favorite pizza toppings…and that’s saying a lot!”

“Remember, Valentine’s Day is just a capitalist holiday designed to sell heart-shaped chocolates and overpriced flowers.”

“Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m spending Valentine’s Day with Netflix, how about you?”

“Valentine’s Day: the day you show your love by purchasing overpriced cards and chocolate, because nothing says ‘I love you’ like consumerism!”