“I love work. I could watch someone else do it for hours.”

“I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy saving mode.”

“Work hard, nap hard.”

“I always give 100% at work: 10% on Monday, 20% on Tuesday, 30% on Wednesday…”

“I’m not a procrastinator, I’m just on extreme productivity enhancement mode.”

“My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home.”

“If nail biting were an Olympic sport, I’d have a gold medal for sure.”

“I’m not late. I’m still operating on my own time zone.”

“Coffee: the most important meal of the day.”

“Friday is my second favorite F-word. Food is the first, of course.”

“I’m an expert in multi-tasking: I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.”

“Work mode: engage coffee intake cycle!”

“My hobbies include overthinking, finding new ways to avoid work, and pretending I’m on a beach somewhere.”

“I always give 100% at work: 10% on actual work, and 90% on pretending to be busy whenever the boss walks by.”

“I have a love-hate relationship with my job. I love pretending to work, and I hate doing actual work.” THANK GOD IS FRIDAY QUOTES

“Work mode is like a light switch, except it’s more like a flickering bulb that needs coffee to operate.”

“My computer screen is brighter than my future.”

“I don’t snore, I dream that I’m a motorcycle.”

“I’m not addicted to coffee, I’m just strongly dependent on it.”

“I work well under pressure… said no one, ever.”

“The only time I set the bar low is for limbo.”

“I’m a responsible adult, until someone brings out bubble wrap.”

“The only thing standing between me and success is me… and my lack of motivation.”

“I don’t always take coffee breaks, but when I do, I make them last for hours.”

“I don’t get drunk. I get awesome.”

“My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch… it’s called lunch.”

“I’m not clumsy, I’m just on a mission to test the durability of every object in the office.”

“Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you do, you’ll never work a day in your life. Just kidding, this is work and I’m miserable.”

“I’m not saying I hate my job, but if it were on fire and I had to save my coffee or my work, I’d grab the coffee first.”