“I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.”

“I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode.”

“Life is too short to be taken seriously, laugh at yourself.”

“I’m not clumsy, it’s just the floor hates me.”

“I may not be perfect, but at least I’m not fake.”

“I’m not lazy, I’m just highly motivated to do nothing.”

“I’m not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.”

“I’m not short, I’m just more down to earth than most people.”

“I don’t trip. I do random gravity checks.”

“I don’t need anger management, I need people to stop pissing me off.”

“I’m just a vintage soul in a modern world.”

“I don’t say ‘LOL’ out loud, as it seems inappropriate in most situations.”

“I’m not weird, I’m limited edition.”

“I don’t make typos, my keyboard just can’t keep up with my thoughts.”

“I’m not lazy, I’m just in power-saving mode.” INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES WHITE

“I don’t have a beer belly, I have a protective covering for my rock-hard abs.”

“I don’t need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.”

“I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.”

“I may be fat, but you’re ugly. And I can lose weight!”

“I don’t need to exercise, I’m already fabulous.”

“I’m not late, I’m just always fashionably in a different time zone.”

“I can’t adult today. Please try again tomorrow.”

“I don’t need a hair salon, I’ve got a blanket that takes care of my hairdos.”

“I don’t need a personal trainer, life keeps throwing enough curveballs at me.”

“I don’t need a gym membership, my fridge is my personal fitness center.”

“Coffee isn’t a drink, it’s a moment of sanity in a chaotic world.”

“I’m not clumsy, I’m just a walking disaster.”

“I don’t need a personal chef, my smoke alarm acts as a food timer.”

“I don’t need a therapist, chocolate understands me.”