“In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is strength, in water there is bacteria.” – Unknown

“I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.” – W.C. Fields

“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” – Benjamin Franklin

“Here’s to alcohol, the cause of, and solution to, all life’s problems.” – Homer Simpson

“I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.” – Winston Churchill

“You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy wine and that’s kind of the same thing.” – Unknown

“I would rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.” – Dorothy Parker

“To me, drink responsibly means don’t spill it.” – Unknown

“Time is never wasted when you’re wasted all the time.” – Catherine Zandonella

“I drink to make other people more interesting.” – Ernest Hemingway

“Give me coffee to change the things I can and wine for the things I can’t.” – Unknown

“The best wines are the ones we drink with friends.” – Unknown

“Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy.” – Frank Sinatra

“The first thing in the human personality that dissolves in alcohol is dignity.” – Unknown

“Too much of anything is bad, but too much Champagne is just right.” – F. Scott Fitzgerald FIRST DAY AT NEW JOB QUOTES

“I like to have a martini, two at the very most. After three I’m under the table, after four I’m under my host.” – Dorothy Parker

“Everybody needs to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another drink.” – Unknown

“I feel bad for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.” – Dean Martin

“Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.” – George Bernard Shaw

“Alcohol may be a slow poison, but who’s in a hurry?” – Unknown

“Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.” – Benjamin Franklin

“A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.” – John Barrymore

“I drink Champagne when I win, to celebrate… and I drink Champagne when I lose, to console myself.” – Napoleon Bonaparte

“Whiskey is liquid sunshine.” – George Bernard Shaw

“Alcohol is the magical potion that turns shy people into dancers.” – Unknown

“Beer is made by men, wine by God.” – Martin Luther

“Alcohol gives you infinite patience for stupidity.” – Sammy Davis Jr.

“It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.” – George Burns

“I would exercise, but it makes me spill my drink.” – Unknown