HAPPY DAY FUNNY QUOTES

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“A day without laughter is a day wasted.” – Charlie Chaplin

“The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer someone else up.” – Mark Twain

“I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” – Rita Rudner

“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family…in another city.” – George Burns

“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.” – Jackie Mason

“I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.”

“If at first, you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.”

“The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30% of their ice cream.” – Bill Murray

“I’m not short, I’m concentrated awesome.”

“Eat cake, it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere!”

“I’m not clumsy. The floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.”

“I don’t need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.” OLD FRIENDS ARE THE BEST FRIENDS QUOTES

“I’m not addicted to coffee, we’re just in a committed relationship.”

“I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.”

“Some people feel the rain, others just get wet.” – Bob Marley

“A clear conscience is a sign of a fuzzy memory.” – Mark Twain

“I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.”

“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.” – Steve Martin

“I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.” – Henny Youngman

“I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right and you’re wrong.”

“I don’t need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.”

“I don’t go crazy. I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time.”

“Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.” – Charles Schulz

OLD FRIENDS ARE THE BEST FRIENDS QUOTES