![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYk5WT04xdk5meFluVm5hWkpxY09TVFJkR3Vxc1dkajViWDA0VWsyRTVzU2JhMEk0Uk1oeXlBbFU1TXBOcHdybjZPQUl2S0Y2Sms1cUxnN0tvU3kxeGc2UnFEbEpHZ3NhNEIyMmFrdFFOMWpWaXgvckZPdFNGSVFkaVhabGhZNDJDWWJ0SXBLd1I3YUZWWG8rL29PTHowdGYybzBoNGJiUlBOTklGcWU5VkM0UFhVQWd4TG5IYkljYk1FRUFpNHdPZz09/HILARIOUS+DAY+QUOTES/(0e2702656860ea20e276b5fe98b1f48a).jpg)
“I’m not saying I’m Batman, but have you ever seen me and Batman in the same room together?” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZENpVlZiSGJhUEZRcDZWTGhoaXI5bk5KRkY4QlllVDhhSkM4Y0owZHpDNkQ1emw2bWNHOEdjZGhNMHhmRTgwcDVRa3hrUG5SSnUvWlFnbElaMFUvckJZbDhUcEhVclFmdHhZT212Z0VWWTU2U1ZsMEsvR3dZRDAwQkl5WVN0T0VJPQ%3D%3D/HILARIOUS+DAY+QUOTES/(c08553d8e0aa3236bed5254ec977571b).jpg)
“I’m not clumsy, I just have quick reflexes to save the falling stuff.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRY052QVBTZlFMZzVhMXFDZWdxSFRBZjBWanVkc0pISEJwVTJDblBLUlZiUDNwbjFnZ3VHK2JZaXlkejB4aVRvdzg3MVZSTTV1WGFKbnR5RDVUbkUvQ21TTjdYNzNMSGlNeXVUOC9uckpDVi93PT0%3D/HILARIOUS+DAY+QUOTES/(5f592766af34b502af9ec70508b815e2).jpg)
“I’m not lazy, I’m just on Energy Saving Mode.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVDlvSTR1ZG41ZzFuMVpGVStXN3R2aVVrNmUxUFdZMG5Lb1VOK1hqcUYyWkRzQlVSL1FvUFFYbE9QV0N2bk5Hc1dyWHJVYW9ianpxWitBRXd5NkowSTA1RVNPSFdRSUhsOWNySHQ2eXB2SHdMZEx3QW50Q0hTMGNUOEZrb2d3SEt0UDJMYS90dUVrSTRNQUhkaC9QaHlFPQ%3D%3D/HILARIOUS+DAY+QUOTES/(01ccdeecbe2f3c804edc402f3268234e).jpg)
“I don’t need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZkJYSmgzZVh3S21nU25NN2VZWEZDZ1BnWW5sK0phdWRsc21FaWllZyt0T2RNQ2kyQ1lWcWRvd3BLYm5MM3dZNENiRGdFOGRuOTg4SWJSdHRFTmpjR0hHSEdzUjExaDJOY0gvTW15ZWhZdStrckN3b1lvQlgyT2ZrbTJjQmZzZnl3PT0%3D/HILARIOUS+DAY+QUOTES/(ffda52fd376153fe0e0b89deed4ad328).jpg)
“The only exercise I get is running out of patience.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrY08wL3JXUWw2QytWWEFUWUpxQmh0d1dQMG5tRXV4T0NiWUl1Ukt6TUE4T2dsRWpaU2k5OER3cVZEOFFyWTYza0ZTN2tocFg4bDBrTnduckJVaWlvd1lJZGlkdzAwMVU3d0gyb3AycEdPZnBVcG5ZQWdJdDJET3BKVk0vZnYyTWhKTk9NOXo0SFRNNU1VSjdCRFcwQjFUaFQyQ1M3VDBza3NGZ09zSzJqZ3BN/HILARIOUS+DAY+QUOTES/(a0ce1b59990fef5d43c23630ef51c276).jpg)
“If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrU1pCSTdYK1Z0NWpVYUtOV1VqQTdxN1YyU0R5NG1ONHVZcmlsNWR6aVFaVkJxemFHdUtTN2VJVnczZ0tiR0J2WlRXbGZWMVZHWTJNeGNnaFF5b2sxTUdXajlVVFpYUWZTWFY5emMwSHd6TnFVT3dTMUxBV0RBZW1HSnV0V0JTVjY4UkhZUzlEL1ZvaWpkTFVOY0piY1dkb3djVkZwRXRoKzM1ZXh0UjhQSmo5cTdMRjVKSHc0L2thTmNOTjFNbjAwN1A5SHoyU3N4WHBjbE14SThkaEw5Yz0%3D/HILARIOUS+DAY+QUOTES/(405dc0307e13395bce03aad4a602d5f2).jpg)
“Mondays are like math problems, you add the irritation, subtract joy, multiply the problems, and divide happiness.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUlVrRUFBOEhrOWpOb2F1VDl1UEUrRXhyREN5Zkl0N2RYWCtXK3dOWVI0a2thRVVPYjJGTWdtQURIdDlBdEJlNVdENTJuNFJSYWhyYVNpeGJ3aDc3bTdLMkx5WU1BTGtrWC82U0tzdUVhWmE%3D/HILARIOUS+DAY+QUOTES/(f8270aab4d2d42dcffae1b6ab01bf19b).jpg)
“If life gives you lemons, just add vodka.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWUhtam5XalBwQTFwYWFjRGpFRlhMbmcxTU5ORUI1MFB0eS92cU5uQkRIMXJENW9MMjVPenhIV2lXdFBwSTQrTnRPR0ZPYVc1VC9tSW4zNHN4Um8yUHQwdGpTT2RxczVMWWIycTVyZkFCTHVTQUY0Szh2SFE4VVhuYXV5cW9OUFFVTlhza3djNWZJZ2xkU095b3dzeU13PQ%3D%3D/HILARIOUS+DAY+QUOTES/(2f9d44429e703ad2fc93b4694c2c7f79).jpg)
“My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRYy9ha0NtbE1rcEVWbEk1WnAxMTNyY2FNU0tNVDQyelFlSEJkS0g2dGh3STA2MURQVHo1U0NLam55M2pFTWFQeENxR2dCVXRMaTU3bzJiODQ3dCsrbjEwTGw5OFUwcmdEYmdWWFZCTWlPV0lzWXhqekZIaDZDdE5VZkkzRUVLeUhtdGxXZVUxZnZhcklxUHpPbHVkUXlJ/HILARIOUS+DAY+QUOTES/(ae4d4253f7f66fe32d2a987c86508c92).jpg)
“I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRY0tOR21CT0FGNk45NWkyNHVIUXpOTWZVYmtmZC9hVithNjdUOHhMalZBa3FGSWdrdWNURVRSd2s3VThCUmhnWjBqZFdqdzE4TVhZZkN0VGpMQXF4SkdMbVRsUnNmUFFnMVdRSXBGZlg2UVBHZnpOWjNIOW1MT0prSWgrWDRaYk1VPQ%3D%3D/HILARIOUS+DAY+QUOTES/(20fa9bb05db091575b0283a734fe72cf).jpg)
“I’m not arguing, I’m just trying to explain why I’m right.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZkJYSmgzZVh3S21nU25NN2VZWEZDaDR2VkMyWW84UWFoeEJxTUJ4MVNqdTBvcjdPY2NZRExYcUdTeHI2T1VuS0h3WlVlWWp5KzREMUxnUS84ZFlCR0pzWFR2N1JXenBpbk5vS1FUeXUyV3JFZmJxMWhPV2xmblQrYXhwL0didTdnL2JyakUrZHdIVmh5dW5FbWdTbDRBPQ%3D%3D/HILARIOUS+DAY+QUOTES/(8a9383bb8b65e6eb3d03834d6697623a).jpg)
“The only time success comes before work is in the dictionary.” – Vidal Sassoon
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZDEvYmFLUE16dW8yOHRWTG90V0RmRUM0QUR3WWlsSzA5bU5pSjM0b2l4NzRLaGNpbDIyYjk0QllpVVVQT0h3YWFwaFY4V1NVZDUwajNIMlA1V0g2UWNldW5jb1lmNTNJa3JtSEVvZnJnOVJZYkV0UjNlWkFrNGpQdVQzdGM5c2kwPQ%3D%3D/HILARIOUS+DAY+QUOTES/(1ba85d0dffaba3b3c04a8d452be9a129).jpg)
“I’m not addicted to coffee, we’re just in a committed relationship.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZWR4K2JneDQzbncwNWVnVERJNHk2M0dQWHA4ckNMSzVCTHhEVXVpYVMzYURlZWRMMUkyUlFxQXYxSmpTalQ3V212VTg4WTNyTSttQzUwLzIwUFN1RGsyWlBXNE1Uak10RFJSYXFrWDBFb0VRPT0%3D/HILARIOUS+DAY+QUOTES/(f217d861d33c20a57f9e4f17dd46ca37).jpg)
“I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZUphUlBtZXNIVVlMeDY2bHlrNnkxMWY1MStPNTJERUw2clZZdVZKTGJ5bStxa3YrNWtVWEN2eWZTcW9HN2plL2owbFRRT0xhWDZJQTlBQnRtUXJjb2dlMUhxcCtzNmZldmI0eWJxbXlOQlQxWkwzMDN3WHNSaVhCblo0a3NqK2RzPQ%3D%3D/HILARIOUS+DAY+QUOTES/(671eecd7f19d30c3db0d08eb9b36e490).jpg)
“I’m not late, everyone else is just early.” – Unknown SELF LOVE SELF RESPECT QUOTES
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZkphZWxiSUVyWlpBOUVTUSswejl4bXQ1eUg2SC9NdExDb3NMcVZoRE1WN1ZaMmlWQ1BNR1BiQm5aOXJ0TEdTWXhCRlU3SzhnRVlYdE12Ums3N0RrVXBEVjJNdG5TVWkwNjRiMnFtRzN2Umc2NWFxKzZxdHFLZU9sOFFjQTRuSnY0PQ%3D%3D/HILARIOUS+DAY+QUOTES/(8913c553730f81bb03fec7d10fba8e2f).jpg)
“I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.” – Tommy Cooper
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVDlvSTR1ZG41ZzFuMVpGVStXN3R2Z3dubVFSa3pQYWtqV2h5RFh6WlpGZjNzdnVIU0VCcytENmpVd1VWMGVCTU51VkY4b1JyNkdwVnZ0YTNyTjdKYStQdVNZZElac1FDR3o2SlhTRHdxVTk2OUhmT0FkQ0dEd2I2Z3N5bVg4WjFuREt4OThON29JYlVtU3lQQVB4aGgzWGZuZjVaejJ5UEVRSEp6cWpybXJv/HILARIOUS+DAY+QUOTES/(4022bd507c44d899ad8e30ba9b1a2bb4).jpg)
“I don’t need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVlZIV3RiSEhXQ0pxR21UNEtPdjRzck9BMElnd3ZrNEhqc3lISXNJMVA2aXo0empUZ3ZPQW1zNDVlNUpjZzNIQXRvanFMVEZWUnA0Q0pmaDFpQlZHRGZjc1F1aVJ4YU82RzVSNytOb3NSSEdnayt2Q3BBS0YxVWEvUmxuSjR0TVc1WWdKTlVWS1YrNXJxTVAyRGc4eXRFPQ%3D%3D/HILARIOUS+DAY+QUOTES/(ecd6a64d42c9898d17200c203621234c).jpg)
“If a hug could convey how much I love you, I would hold you in my arms forever.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRY2VYbXpWM0ViN3ZRY3BBNmFLOTdNaEZtZ01BblpzdFVraEdBR2sreDNrRzNyWHdPWGNweUJvTmJKd2xTSUdPcjVPZFpRUzVwNCtDWi9CNXV3NWo2Kys%3D/HILARIOUS+DAY+QUOTES/(2e0e5e35d85414029e8038d384e54591).jpg)
“I’m not short, I’m fun-sized.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZW5vTk9XNzlNT3dVQ1EvYzdlV0RVbEJjZ0l5RnFOaXM3TFFCcU9wcmwrZmJQSSt2RFhzYStsakJQYS80ZmE0aVJaTGFGQllzbTEzTHF1Y3pDMUt2NVJYWjkvZnQ0WXgyNkp3YjZsODFvYlpXdGZEeTJVd1pUdFNsVi84U0hKUWtrUlhIRTM5akdVN0RTVmNDMS9mMGZI/HILARIOUS+DAY+QUOTES/(97302153997bbb59de72570097cc5519).jpg)
“I’m not clumsy, I’m just testing gravity… It’s still working.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZDEvYmFLUE16dW8yOHRWTG90V0RmRWhFT3RXK3B5b0JzQlNUczRqMVpzenlNWitNWStndDNsQWxMRStLZDFiTUwxcit5NlBxMFA3OW95T2wxNmJBejNQd1lJODRQZkp4N0VGL0xicEV1M3pzZjM0R1NYOHc2TXE3RTVvallpNjhvPQ%3D%3D/HILARIOUS+DAY+QUOTES/(67badfbcba8ae062282ee39c986c4418).jpg)
“I’m not addicted to chocolate, chocolate is addicted to me.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrU09rMmdOMnE5WWxXd0wyUFdGVzNFMStmZ2ZJRWFPdHNzaUVKWWs1bENGSENER2tEbGJMRXFRMzBRbmh3SjBTdS9IdWJqOGlZbWZVWGFIK1NKMVUvYUFPYWFyVDNnaS9ZWkVWVEhJdm43UDdEelNRTEQ1ZTg4M1BZdGJUdHNyK1ZIcUcrM28xa1BZQ2s4UGRaemFuK2EwPQ%3D%3D/HILARIOUS+DAY+QUOTES/(5e737925352dc7d3ce8df7272873c832).jpg)
“The secret to a happy marriage is a sense of humor, and a really short memory.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrY0FlWjlFeUtrNG90TXJHeE9xaCtTckZTT2Q0Vnl5ZFhaMWdreHp2WWJwbHU3SDBOLzhoRUxYcEZDeXM3SmRPOGJmMWlnbFpuTWoyT2pGOU5zNzhVMlcyUHlkWTVNS0tnSEV2NnkyM2hXTWFpN29hdXQvZHl0ajc2Z0wzMTVUYlZ3PT0%3D/HILARIOUS+DAY+QUOTES/(455f364c8eac736f78ab2e02a8435e25).jpg)
“Some people just need a high-five. In the face. With a chair.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZkJwYkhTQUpZSkZhSEtaK0k3RUJZcVI5QUl1VmkxbndJVlVaNVRXRGplRlR5cFhNenB2Z1JzNy9pR1FncU5udTRFem12NjBFaFZVTG93cklUQUxhZWlpSXI0OG1QS3BpS2xvTW1adjBTRmJBPT0%3D/HILARIOUS+DAY+QUOTES/(9849b0486ff4014969bd05aca001c5e8).jpg)
“I’m not messy, I’m creatively organized.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRY052QVBTZlFMZzVhMXFDZWdxSFRBZktyako4N3M3bkkycHhNbk1NVXhmVnlYa3h0RzF0TTRBQ3lPSTlJQ2NvV2dZUFVoejdLUGlyR3EyQm0vbGlJY0ZZcks0QW9EUStWdmowMWp3RXFUZ0d0NVJEWmFwUEp0NDk0amlxaGlTS2ZBPQ%3D%3D/HILARIOUS+DAY+QUOTES/(3d032c47b4f972416b84f374f0d1bf20).jpg)
“I’m not lazy, I’m just highly motivated to do nothing.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZWR4K2JneDQzbncwNWVnVERJNHk2M0dQWHA4ckNMSzVCTHhEVXVpYVMzYURlZWRMMUkyUlFxQXYxSmpTalQ3V212VTg4WTNyTSttQzUwLzIwUFN1RGsyWlBXNE1Uak10RFJSYXFrWDBFb0VRPT0%3D/HILARIOUS+DAY+QUOTES/(f217d861d33c20a57f9e4f17dd46ca37).jpg)
“I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrV0lJN2pSOVpUSTY0K1NVelNrNVlRQk9uZXV3cVBrNHIra3d4NFF5OVR6NWdGYXNFTTFIZ0NuN05DRkM3eHhqQUFrUnJneFVlV2lxZE5aZDNOQVVMcE1qcjFaazJaSDArK1Z5VUpPaU1BZXp1N3UrakRLbjcvSWc1ZE95ekhGVmdxQWFHNTkrQ1ZXSEV0RHorMjRnaVAvTlBDS2E2TEM5SjFNVk8relB6RDJjdUFmSWRkTGpkTGZLTGtyc050WnVnQT09/HILARIOUS+DAY+QUOTES/(cc234106b5e95d7ef6941d317a67d8d9).jpg)
“The problem with quotes on the internet is that it is hard to verify their authenticity.” – Abraham Lincoln (just kidding!)
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZlNqd1Vhd3ZEYWhCSTZzYjJWVGxSWVNUNXBWZGFzYVI2SDA1VVhEK2ZEeVVPd09PZm5waTN2TXlvMFZYcS9sZzhGY3lKYVh2aXZhc3FOMmpiTyt2UitIeEFlUm5GZjdocXoxRUhFREkvOEVtZkdrNmpMaVhmdVpURk5tby8yQWp3PQ%3D%3D/HILARIOUS+DAY+QUOTES/(f48c5b51552c47d45b17f5c28ec77e04).jpg)
“I’m not ashamed of my past, I just don’t remember most of it.” – Unknown