“My New Year’s resolution is to be more spontaneous… starting next year.”

“May all your troubles last as long as your resolutions!”

“New Year’s resolutions are just like babies: They’re fun to make but extremely difficult to maintain.”

“The only thing I’m looking forward to in 2022 is figuring out how to write the date correctly.”

“New Year’s resolution: Gym membership? Nah, I’ll just take a nap.”

“I can’t believe it’s already been a year since I didn’t become a better person.”

“My goal for 2022 is to accomplish the goals of 2021 which I should have done in 2020 because I promised them in 2019 and planned them in 20”

“May all your wrinkles be ironed out, and may all your selfies have perfect lighting in the New Year!”

“New Year’s resolution: To stop making over-the-top resolutions I know I won’t keep.”

“I can’t believe it’s been a year since I didn’t become a better person.”

“My resolution is to spend less time interacting with people… oh wait, that was last year’s resolution.”

“The first resolution of 2022: Let’s eat cake for breakfast, lunch, and dinner!” SIMPLE HAPPY ANNIVERSARY QUOTES

“New Year’s resolution: Survive another year without getting caught!”

“I don’t usually make New Year’s resolutions, but this year I resolve to be even lazier.”

“New Year’s resolution: Get in shape… keep Round as a shape.”

“May your New Year’s Eve be as sparkling and bubbly as the champagne, but not as messy as the hangover!”

“New Year’s resolution: Make fewer resolutions. You know, so I don’t fail at so many things.”

“May your New Year’s resolutions be as long-lasting as a newly opened bag of chips.”

“I’m ready to tackle my 2022 New Year’s resolutions… as soon as I finish this pizza.”

“New Year’s resolution: Embrace my inner sloth without any guilt!”

“My New Year’s resolution is to remember to write ‘2022’ on all my checks… once I finally remember to start writing checks.”

“New Year’s resolution: Learn to laugh at my own jokes, even when no one else does.”