HILARIOUS WORK QUOTES

“I don’t work well under pressure. Unless chocolate is involved.”

“I don’t have a problem staying focused at work. It’s staying awake that gives me trouble.”

“The only problem with doing nothing is that you can’t stop to rest!”

“My keyboard must be broken. I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.”

“If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, then why is there a light in the fridge?”

“I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode.”

“I love deadlines. I love the whooshing sound they make as they pass by.”

“I work well with others, as long as they leave me alone.”

“Do I have my life together? No, but my computer files are impeccably organized.”

“The only thing more distracting than working from home is realizing that you don’t have any snacks.”

“I don’t always procrastinate, but when I do, I’m highly productive with other things.”

“I see money hiding in my bank account, but it refuses to come out and play.”

“I’m not paid enough to be this adult.” GIRLY QUOTES ABOUT LIFE FOR MYSPACE

“If Mondays were shoes, they’d be Crocs.”

“I always give 100% at work: 10% on Monday, 18% on Tuesday, 25% on Wednesday…”

“I need a six-month vacation, twice a year.”

“Why do they call it rush hour if nothing moves?”

“I’m not saying I hate my job, but if it were on fire and I had a bucket of water, I’d drink the water.”

“I wish I could go to work in my pajamas. Oh wait, I can!”

“I like to start my day with a positive attitude and lots of caffeine.”

“I’m not a control freak, but I’d rather do things my way.”

“Sure, I’ll participate in the office fitness challenge! Just let me finish this slice of cake first.”

“My favorite exercise at work is the walk from the parking lot to my desk.”

“I’m sorry for what I said when I was trying to meet a deadline.”