HUMOR FUNNY MOM QUOTES

“I used to have functioning brain cells. Then I became a mom.”

“Motherhood: Powered by love. Fueled by coffee. Sustained by wine.”

“Cleaning the house with kids around is like brushing your teeth while eating Oreos.”

“Whoever said ‘sleep like a baby’ never slept next to one.”

“Dinner with kids: ‘Why is there food on the ceiling?’”

“I don’t have a photographic memory, but I can remember every outfit my child has ruined.”

“Being a mom means never being alone in the bathroom again.”

“I love being a mom, but sometimes I wish I could uninstall the whining and tantrum apps.”

“I thought I was organized, until I had kids.”

“Mom life is like a zoo, but with no free admission.”

“I used to be cool. Then I had kids.”

“Being a mom means always having someone with sticky hands around.”

“Being a mom is all fun and games until someone gets tired, hungry, or bumps their head.”

“I feel like I’m constantly saying ‘please stop’ and ‘be careful’ on repeat.” POSITIVE SUCCESS MOTIVATIONAL QUOTES

“Raising children is like being pecked to death by chickens.”

“Moms don’t have a favorite child, but we do have a favorite coffee mug.”

“My house is clean enough to be healthy, but messy enough to be happy.”

“Parenthood is 50% yelling ‘stop doing that!’ and 50% apologizing for yelling.”

“I never knew I could survive on so little sleep until I became a mom.”

“If there’s one thing I’ve learned from being a mom, it’s how to fake enthusiasm for terrible gifts.”

“The biggest lie I tell myself every day is ‘I will clean the house when the kids are older.'”

“Being a mom is like running a marathon, but in a clown suit.”

“Every time I say ‘no,’ my kids hear ‘ask again, she didn’t understand’.”

“As a mom, my superpower is being able to find things that were never lost, but my child insists on searching for.”

“Motherhood: The only job where you get yelled at for doing too much and not doing enough at the same time.”

“I’m not a regular mom, I’m a cool mom. Just kidding, I’m totally a regular mom!”