![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYk5WT04xdk5meFluVm5hWkpxY09TUVZKK3FDVlErNUN0TTR6c0dpTEJoNFF0Vy9ObnRmREdQR3k0Z1dFdm8wSWl3bVRlUUNnbS94bUxFa0ZuSHNlM3VaTFlXOEtNVzMwNUw5bmVRQ3h5QjJqanJZSE84SnBCVmo0RGllaDNVSitnbGYyV1RZLzBMaExJbm9SOWZNMnpONXk2bkJta0o1ZU9ZaXVBNWp4R3g5/ICONIC+CELEBRITY+QUOTES+FUNNY/(b137e1d7cd3fa102dd282195bb7e09cd).jpg)
“I’m not afraid of death; I just don’t want to be there when it happens.” – Woody Allen
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZkJYSmgzZVh3S21nU25NN2VZWEZDalp3cXhtK01GTFZvZldnOUFITHBELzluRlYrUk5PM3RwM24vWTFCWUx6RDA4b3BaMHhJODd6Q0JFSFJqUHUxbnA3RC82VEp6SGtKODlwYWYyTERRVENGLzR6dTk4MlBnVnI5WnlwZ0pOdWRIY3Y3NUg1eHFYTmkzd2JWMDdYazhlODdFaVROaU1OeE9UZ2tacnlKQkZid1lzRWk2dTM2WU9mNDVUMUxtakk2dGwvRm5FWVNmOW1TZW44bFJVcTN3cz0%3D/ICONIC+CELEBRITY+QUOTES+FUNNY/(c82e0129a765de1307b9b35df9eb789f).jpg)
“The only thing that gets me out of bed in the morning is the chance I might accidentally say something intelligent.” – Steve Martin
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUUp6SWlDQ21oZWlVekt4K3hJMTM3cjBjdVJyNHBjeXVlc1JlN1hWaTgzWmpBdWtDcHE0NUxtTzRNUnhmSmdOK3B4alExRmF1ZUF4RFBkOHJGQ1V5cjZ3UVlVb2VOcmFWVDJxRlhDSjhDR3I2LzFyaitqVmh1S2Z2aWhyT1h2azhRPT0%3D/ICONIC+CELEBRITY+QUOTES+FUNNY/(01f435d686cd2c4f8a96891a6320f1b0).jpg)
“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.” – Jim Carrey
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZmZyZHlOZDY0NHVoYmpUVFdodmJ5aWRYM0tSdm9DWmlUeFcwWURCVkdpNytqVytETVM0ek9GK2xvV1gxV2hucnFDT0dUV0ZtRHRyMTlEZStZdXhGemV0ZHVQMEY1U1RyZDBhZ2pCYStNUlBOeE12OTNxQit6dHhYTVdvY0pNTnprPQ%3D%3D/ICONIC+CELEBRITY+QUOTES+FUNNY/(892245d4bdf1d4680a00c1216175d024).jpg)
“I’m so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.” – John Lennon
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZFlaZ1ZuM1VERFZCMWJuWWVLWDkvTFNRM1FERGE4TTlhS3p2bHF1UHVJSGlRUXhlN21JWmdvK2tvc01HKzRMcDBwclZaVmpybmxDdVcyT1dUd0tsZm1YWHhMbTBWZEpMNmlMOU1tdWFuek5jamZmajFXQTFCbTBMcHVZa3Vpc1VVPQ%3D%3D/ICONIC+CELEBRITY+QUOTES+FUNNY/(fc2e3060299f5445310279ab4142dea4).jpg)
“I’m sorry, if you were right, I’d agree with you.” – Robin Williams
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYUhvVzlsUm5CdnN3Q2xrc042WXh6WlBXR2tVVHlhdjJtOG1rU2hmcTlwejNqZTgxenBMSDN6cUNvZDNIaFJHSTRwWHNXOUxtd1hqZk1oSnFoQnl5dXRKcklvVjBqOVFFNFJWTWFXR0hkSTRCVDRQbXJnbFRjRDVHa1RHNW9WRFZienR0Mis4bVRZLzByRVhOQ1E5ZlhtZWRZUTQyejg2M0VjdFZmeUg0eWtq/ICONIC+CELEBRITY+QUOTES+FUNNY/(da9f2b20e541ed204fff0bf8eae874bc).jpg)
“I would challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you’re unarmed.” – William Shakespeare
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZkJYSmgzZVh3S21nU25NN2VZWEZDaW5vQy85T2ZzWmNwdXRneUNkK2tUdVl1MjBQdTVkZWNLbjA4MFlkRWJ2SHJ1S3lnd1VNKzBIcXBoL3hOMXRwVEprZFVSZGQ5SkFhU2RKcW93OVBjZ2dGY1hON25zUU9pMlN1QSt4V1RmUDRJYklhUDgwaDNaZ1JYTklRMmt0VHVXK1Y0U2tQU0k4azNGWXNGUkNpQldpVGNHOWJ3NEdSdWVhcDNKaVEvVnBlWU5oelBYUGpHZkkybC8rMXJHRi9ENlpKOFFzQjlMM0RvYXc4bytNbStZVw%3D%3D/ICONIC+CELEBRITY+QUOTES+FUNNY/(16ddfaaef8d55eb20b7e0cf7c41d6f18).jpg)
“The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not.” – Mark Twain
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUTJSampyTmxSakNDVU8vY1YwczJIdGJJT0xXMVRzcGpPY1hQd3RISGkrbWEzcHUybDgweHpyUXg1dWRteWFvUzdnTW41dTFRdHA2WkR5RFYvdHJCaE9YU3lHS0kxVDFaVnh6eDg0RnJsL21QRGZ0akttSzNOK0dxWmFVREpNclg4SEtIVi9GTVZlRjhzNkwraW04WHQ5cFdkSWlRT1AwODViQm1NRXU2WU9n/ICONIC+CELEBRITY+QUOTES+FUNNY/(2f3fe39dfaf975924c07c39899b41307).jpg)
“I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.” – Oscar Wilde
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZEgrY0orYzJmdnlNTnlLc2o0NU83bEV6NnV1WVhDMG5MdzkvMmRlVWVmS2s5WlM4cWZZVER3NHM0VmJqTnhRbUhEOGhpdTNVZzU1eE1LNWdHbktDWngxcE1rQ0JqZmtNZ0Vac2c4YVRndmJ4ZjM0NDhtdlFKdk1xWG5ITWtobEFRPQ%3D%3D/ICONIC+CELEBRITY+QUOTES+FUNNY/(34ff0df638e4693dd1d63feda069c16f).jpg)
“I’m not crazy. My reality is just different than yours.” – Johnny Depp
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZjVGRk5reXB6bDRjOXJnV2hLTlpQckNETXNHQ0liaDVTSmQ5Nnpjeml6TTQzbFNGMlBFWHdoTHVEcEs0USs4dFhyRllVYUVaSnFzbmg4UHd6a3haUW5ydEVLM0srTE1QeEtiOCtBVG1iY1dWVVREbmpPOG1xSlZKUm1MSTZtWnhKVHFvUTYvOThiS1BUa2hoWnVneEhmK2NhRlFQdlRKdUZuR1pQUEtyVGlFa2w4VVl5emRURnE3ekcrRFhYdjhkbkNCRnhIOFZVV2VXV3N6djdlZmJ6aXdESjZWQVVsSG04a0JobTRRRGQ0R3JaYmNObmd4enVnZk9UdVVQQVRzcWc9PQ%3D%3D/ICONIC+CELEBRITY+QUOTES+FUNNY/(9313d4eed8bb8b08e361654cdca68372).jpg)
“My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She’s ninety-seven now, and we don’t know where the heck she is.” – Ellen DeGeneres
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZDlqeUs4Z09MWmNrQUZRZHVsQ3lyc3FaeHdWMmdTbWdNUmNLWkM5ejFnQ002MStvNnJqQmhzM0Rsdk92NHpqamZKMW1uU05OdDRtM29ZNkNpWDU1c3F2NFpoQTZFNzBCQW5WbDdrOFVWL1ZwTVA4OUlvbzI2M0c2d0VBbjNZT0lxbEI2TmRCQmhTTU54Nndpcm1aNUlyc1dHM1FKeUtMVGtMY1U3b1ZQSE5vZz09/ICONIC+CELEBRITY+QUOTES+FUNNY/(bf8e76e876d5f4df072bbafc8fb171fd).jpg)
“I’m not sure if I have the energy to go into a whole argument, so I’ll just agree with you.” – Bill Murray
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZmxqRzJnS0o4citDaUFhRWpUZStPV3drZnJoZ2RhdWxvV2YyWlVKNHZZZk5kN3lrRmtmLzhLOHFhL1djNGNHMmVYTkx2Mm5CVHNJLzBKcElPVTdKVTZGTGFnSlVnVlBlMmo3dVkwcWFmRHFNN01rb05SN1lRTU5WYkpvMUZndnBQQWVUTk5SVWYxN0RKeVExNGhCTHZaKzhOTXpHUHV4RjNvS2RrcDNqZ2Irdjk0NllhUWdlU1E1ZGJNUTdDVzJ4QVk3aUR4QzhBNjFsOEF4Tzh3MFQrag%3D%3D/ICONIC+CELEBRITY+QUOTES+FUNNY/(e21dec0247740be91dc16d144d0ec224).jpg)
“I’m tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That’s deep enough. What do you want—an adorable pancreas?” – Jean Kerr
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUkVBOExIaHdySHM2eVFNWjBCQTBteUppZTg2SEtIOTBJbDlIZzE2SkkzeTFUdnltZ2RsSGRibDFxancyR3Z2aEFjOG5lclkxVDd1d0JzcnlNcE0vUFUvRzN6SUw0dzgzbDRJTFM2cUVlK3JPZTl2NUJIZnVROElieFBiWVJDYWN2RHJFbXpWNGppR3lrT1M0YzhDZzBZPQ%3D%3D/ICONIC+CELEBRITY+QUOTES+FUNNY/(04201efa5c657dfae97f4866643ca21f).jpg)
“I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.” – Mae West THAT ONE SCIENCE QUOTE ABOUT LIFE
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYVJXaGxkdER6KzhMQjhGYW91REhvYVJkUjZsUUpnRTlQTmllL0NBeGNjMnArSlhYMkxZenl5bHI3TmwvSlNHczlTNk51K0kxS2lDckwrVnpwV0IwTk0rUWV0ZnViSGpNem93K0R0U2JFNE9nUjdjYnArcnRpeWpVcUJlbW5lYzk1ZlBwbGZEb291bUpCOXFZUHpvNWdJPQ%3D%3D/ICONIC+CELEBRITY+QUOTES+FUNNY/(77874d1a6732d9944f7663cd9dcdfae8).jpg)
“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.” – Winnie the Pooh
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYnpSMVY5ek8xcnZZelZDeGZTalIrWis0NVA4NnBsOWloVG9hR3ZRMkZQT0ozSnE5T2d6Q1FCcE5lSXR4ZVJDZWRMcjBWYmdZWDREdjhlOWNKRWlJbW1la0J5UllsZThTVkcxaVlYOE5XeG1kYkpZcElyQ3VDenhUcmRoekR6N05VeXRxdTZtSXNKM1kxSmkxUnZCYnhSTExrejVDdTU1ZGNuRDUzaktpRGRz/ICONIC+CELEBRITY+QUOTES+FUNNY/(c75ef07fbb336385a1c71d59114d2545).jpg)
“In Hollywood, if you don’t have a shrink, people think you’re crazy.” – Johnny Carson
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYWw4MmIvWjd0QXBNRjFRSTAwZ1BFZ0ZMNnJpYVlRb0JGYzh1SmdQb0hNcUxZWE41clJVeGJSSnRhUkZObkt5ck8yMThGeTNhcGJURnRxbXlEcHFiRVFrTmxQWTFCckJReHJMUXhOd0xPSlcyTDYzZmc3LzFXRXZUYkMzWmU0REttRUxudmJYVUpkOHhESDE1WmFDcDNjN0FNeGUvcld3Rkx0SnBlQlFNRUFn/ICONIC+CELEBRITY+QUOTES+FUNNY/(69ea18d0c40ae6f48b5986eac0ea8860).jpg)
“When I was born, I was so surprised that I didn’t talk for a year and a half.” – Gracie Allen
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVTNmY0VseGt2cUk5S1FMK3JzaWwrV3VpMEVBWUU0NWdFMjJDeWJUZEpzTnVQNHNxbzM2TnFkVjJqc1lZMGdsUGxEMmRMOU5waExTWlRqZ0FLcjk2TVRJN21QMmQxL1Z5d3h6V0JKN01Pd2lDYXhtdm5ublFVY0N1SHRFSlIrSyswUzdXWE84ekZ2UkgvVXhjRGFzbFBZPQ%3D%3D/ICONIC+CELEBRITY+QUOTES+FUNNY/(9735cce5755cbe466cac79d13721e992).jpg)
“It’s not the men in my life that count, it’s the life in my men.” – Mae West
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUkVBOExIaHdySHM2eVFNWjBCQTBtd21jMHRrZWFYRnJCNDh0YlZISlRubks5N0lqamhzeFZxK21SRkFmaDVmd1d4MHk4M3IxWjh6d3Iyby9Va3V5bzdNa0ovb1I0K0dNaWxQNGUrL0VKcmFSbkF1aS8vMkJiWmJwSVJDdFl2WTBqTEJjM2FtMklVSmhta1piekdZMnNnPQ%3D%3D/ICONIC+CELEBRITY+QUOTES+FUNNY/(2e21dd4b49e2fbd5c318157e1bcb77c6).jpg)
“I used to jog, but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.” – David Lee Roth
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWU9uWlZucHpVK1doZjg2bUxNL2FnVS8waXo3THdhTndKQTl2OGRueFhManByNmxMeTk2OGtJb0NvNjRUYjhHUzlWYzcvYmhva2xaVlNCY2xGdURXZzhhOFRRWHNSTmhCYTlxWHg0V2tjMFV3QWVpQW8vVmhpa1NCMTRoTGF3N0U3OFMwZ2w0ZU1yM0pWbGNPVElsTFJ2V0VPaWVEa2cvU0lPV0ZBamVmNld5SU5OZ0VzM2Y1TDd2aHNub0Y0dUJiVjFrc2pXWWx0UzJ3MUt1WDdmb0o2WT0%3D/ICONIC+CELEBRITY+QUOTES+FUNNY/(3807a73698514dbe60eb029bc9e5acb5).jpg)
“I failed my exam in some subjects, but my friend passed. Now, he’s an engineer at Microsoft, and I am the owner.” – Bill Gates
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrV0lJN2pSOVpUSTY0K1NVelNrNVlRQVVqbXJoSkJpaFI3MHpXcCtyOHd1Q3lTelhjM0NVUnFqdS85QXZHYVhXZ3pSK1RQUzVYM01UNHBKTjBwZXpWcXlQNUZXZTNLTmgzdTBkY1F5eVgxU29td0syR0Z1Wmh3U2MzQis1cCtDQm0ycEhacjVXYTNnUjN3Vm4xaGd3ZDVFPQ%3D%3D/ICONIC+CELEBRITY+QUOTES+FUNNY/(839504fffb4da08553b0c9ca5296341f).jpg)
“The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.” – Humphrey Bogart
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZUU1empHU0xQLytWcld5ZGtWQzZ4TVUxWGxQUFF3WElNNkJOaTJrVWJZaUdtd3NsN1Z2RlozYXNiRlZpWFR4dHBhblVKblpUVmJzMmh2SS9hZUd4VndKVDU0bTFpL1R5d2FoRyt1cmhKeEZOQ0xQTm1PKzF3ZTZTU01CWVVkWWhRPT0%3D/ICONIC+CELEBRITY+QUOTES+FUNNY/(2e29ebdf0a87e897d66abde7201c3b84).jpg)
“I once thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken.” – George Carlin
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWjU2bHBkVkdYZ3RwNGhUTitWOEp4UnZTeWpIMWI4NFk3czBGcWRFOEZPUnNkd3BsbGNHeldKbmlYRWtYTjZNRmVqMSt2amdwNjlYMG9QVFkxOTR3akVjYnpsQUVxZUlWZXMrWUo1Vzg5SEhPeXBXREhqUzIyMDhRZEVHa0ZEY2dnZE9UVUZac3dlWWwyN0lqTWI4azFwdHRTbm9aMVpBWm85Q2lON0ZVMXlx/ICONIC+CELEBRITY+QUOTES+FUNNY/(741e2ae8dfa3e263e49902e336254f9d).jpg)
“I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.” – Demetri Martin
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZkJYSmgzZVh3S21nU25NN2VZWEZDaW5vQy85T2ZzWmNwdXRneUNkK2tUdVl1MjBQdTVkZWNLbjA4MFlkRWJ2SHJ1S3lnd1VNKzBIcXBoL3hOMXRwVEprZFVSZGQ5SkFhU2RKcW93OVBjZ2dGY1hON25zUU9pMlN1QSt4V1RmUDRJYklhUDgwaDNaZ1JYTklRMmt0VHVXK1Y0U2tQU0k4azNGWXNGUkNpQldpVGNHOWJ3NEdSdWVhcDNKaVEvVnBlWU5oelBYUGpHZkkybC8rMXJHRi9ENlpKOFFzQjlMM0RvYXc4bytNbStZVw%3D%3D/ICONIC+CELEBRITY+QUOTES+FUNNY/(16ddfaaef8d55eb20b7e0cf7c41d6f18).jpg)
“The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not.” – Mark Twain
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrU0hJUU1qM08wbEJyQlg3R3k4MWlQY0VIRTlOeGRoTWpaR2V3aFlickhNemFJc1NscVN6NGVQSVJoMnN6L2NtZlM2SW1uTVJMRDJzZmV6SHZQMGt6OGYydktMTUJpNmJNamdoMFd2cXR1VUlNTERFWGlERHM4dDdCdXF4cHh0dnpnPT0%3D/ICONIC+CELEBRITY+QUOTES+FUNNY/(4c5862470c87dd1c1f221ffd413b44f8).jpg)
“A clear conscience is a sure sign of a bad memory.” – Mark Twain
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“I intend to live forever. So far, so good.” – Steven Wright