IF YOU CAN MAKE ME LAUGH QUOTES

“I’m not clumsy, I’m just really good at finding furniture corners with my toes.”

“I tried to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.”

“I asked a librarian if they had any books on paranoia. She whispered, ‘They’re right behind you!'”

“Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!”

“I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes… She hugged me.”

“I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.”

“I asked my dog what’s the secret to a long life. He replied, ‘Don’t chase cars!'”

“Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.”

“I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes… She gave me a hug.”

“I can’t believe I got sacked from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off!”

“I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands instead.”

“If there were a contest for the laziest person, I’d probably send someone else to enter on my behalf.”

“I accidentally booked a trip to Rhode Iceland. Turns out it was just a big block of ice.”

“I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.”

“Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!”

“I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes… She hugged me.” EVERY HARD WORK QUOTES

“I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.”

“I asked my dog what’s the secret to a long life. He replied, ‘Don’t chase cars!'”

“I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.”

“Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!”

“I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes… She hugged me.”

“I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.”

“Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.”

“I asked my dog what’s the secret to a long life. He replied, ‘Don’t chase cars!'”

“I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands instead.”

“If there were a contest for the laziest person, I’d probably send someone else to enter on my behalf.”

“I accidentally booked a trip to Rhode Iceland. Turns out it was just a big block of ice.”

“I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.”

“I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!”

“Why couldn’t the bicycle find its way home? It lost its bearings.”