JAKE PERALTA BEST QUOTES

“Cool motive, still murder.”

“I wasn’t hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That’s where the blood’s supposed to be.”

“Sarge, with all due respect, I am gonna completely ignore everything you just said.”

“I’m amazing. I’m Batman meets Thor. No, I’m Batman meets Deadpool. I’m the whole package.”

“I’m playing both sides so that I always come out on top.”

“If I die, turn my tweets into a book. Go get ’em Amy, he’s a horrible cop!”

“I asked the store clerk if they had the book Fifty Shades of Grey, and she replied, ‘Yeah, but we keep it in the back, behind the knitting needles.’ So, take from that what you will.”

“Sure I do. First, I’mma sneak into his house dressed as a shadow. Then I’ll make a loud noise, so he goes investigate, and he sees my partner waiting for him, dressed as a noise.”

“I wasn’t born a cop, I had to fight tooth and nail to get here. I busted my ass in the academy to be the best detective I could be. I worked really hard to get this job, because I wanted it.”

“I’m always brave when I’m scared.”

“So shoutout to the team for keeping it together when I’m in zany situations like these.”

“Title of your sex tape.”

“Not only am I not on drugs, I’ve never even tried a cigarette. And I only drink alcohol for medicinal reasons, like when I need a cold beer to wash down a burger.”

“I’m great at flirting with people who I’m not interested in, and I can’t talk to the ones that I am.”

“I asked her out and she said yes. I was so shocked, I couldn’t say anything and just closed the door in her face. That’s what you meant by put myself out there, right?” DERRICK ROSE MOTIVATIONAL QUOTES

“I have a pre-existing condition called ‘being bad at my job’.”

“I wasn’t hurt at all. But, I broke my wrist when I punched a hole through a wall, so I’m gonna need you to sign this.”

“Captain, I respect you so much that I would run into a burning building to save you and everyone else in the squad. And you know I hate running.”

“Captain Holt always says that if you want to make a connection with someone, be sure to say their name in conversation. So, John Kelly, Born April 26th, 194”

“She’s a real trisexual. She’ll try anything sexual.”

“I’m not a bad driver. I don’t do it fast, I do it furious!”

“I’m the human form of the 💯 emoji.”

“Solving problems is my specialty, except for math problems. Fun fact, I can’t solve them.”

“We should break into their houses and steal all their → hearts.”

“You slept with half of the precinct.”

“More like 80%. But on the plus side, I’m very well-rested.”

“Fine, but in my defense, I’m usually really great at detecting lies. That’s why I lied about being great at it.”

“You know what they say, you lose a bet, you throw a party; you lose a dare, you throw a party; you lose a job, you throw a party. But when you lose someone’s engagement ring, you throw…you shut your damn mouth.”

“I’m in the big leagues now. I have to carry my own flashlight!”