![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWGNBZjdDemswbDJQejNrOUpiL2J3ZWxqS0hUL3o5S3hXNGV2UG5pNDFwR0Nlbk16YXg2ODVubENaaHBsczNQZnZRUjV1aDNQSEJlUkRXMVhtMzRnV3M9/JENSEN+ACKLES+FUNNY+QUOTES/(3a60de8348c71a72c3d19f6222ccc361).jpg)
Sure! Here are 23 funny quotes by Jensen Ackles:
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/amk5L3IxQm1SbkRHeGNmRDMxSXdMd3VsS1kvcHdzSWc1Mk10cW5RejUvMlg1Sytub1NKWGFwVHpsSmd6SkhTRlJKRXl5MHhiM2RsL0V2MGp6ZkQ0ZTdZVVR6dkVvT0ROZW9UVDQ5NW95bWJJNFdBL1JRUFdENEx5QmFScDFZT1FDSnppWUJ4MDFmMmphSXk3eHNNTytydFhTbUdjWWpQbWtOQlZsenhjWWFwSnVMRzNIN1pta0R4T3NxM0Fya3ZWTWRLUEQwcG5pemc1Mi90T2NuNGhGbmNTWE9KbDN1ZzJZN25WdWxrajdXWW5Ja0JHZmNMMmcwdmVuQUVrLzlTNw%3D%3D/JENSEN+ACKLES+FUNNY+QUOTES/(74b8e42a2a1920604176964efebd29b7).jpg)
“I’m pretty sure my garbage man is plotting to kill me. In the note section on the Valentine’s day card he left, he drew a picture of a dead squirrel.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZkJVdi8yT29XT1BWZm5MUnVPazFXYVQzS2dCeUd4cVRzeERMcUdDSzFPWlVGOFlVWm1EYVB4VC9yZlhhaUhoSnpoOC9tdVZKd2ZGNyt2dlpOVlhzcDdtL1ZyOHoxNDMzZlUrSVJjd083M3JyTEtvL1VmcnJpaXAvQVdjMmtPeGttbnNWU2tHQzFoNjNjZ3czTS8zVllJPQ%3D%3D/JENSEN+ACKLES+FUNNY+QUOTES/(f1bb56ce6bfdcb294a135ffe421be24c).jpg)
“I’ve been told that when I get to a certain speed, I look like a deranged muppet.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVVdFQkZuNzVNZzJZY3J2TnAwc2Q4Z056NWVSS1UzMFlyRk91ZjBXR1g4R25NYmNHUTdjRmNxSEZRNW1oL2VxS3N5clBKNU9lNU56TGdIN2lPMTc4azRBQ2lYU0xLMWpFVHpVZXNWSjR6VlZuR3dFQkFzRjk0L1A4UXhnMTNESzNyV2hud2g3SS9Sd0JrNG1FUE41bWsxM2cyMC91UGRtRTVjY3N3Uk8wSEll/JENSEN+ACKLES+FUNNY+QUOTES/(8f4c62bb1b8e6386e0b0f603b6116a77).jpg)
“I’m not saying I rock, but I am saying that I’m the closest thing to ‘awesome’ in a 50-mile radius.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUUtIVVJ4Q1NsVHVBazMySjNmMktsNUxTbk5hVHFQdFdmM0RwbFV3SEdaV041bm44NXgxT2lZa2dJRWlpYUhhbUdDNlhjeXhzRUloRHFmK1pJL0tqRlU9/JENSEN+ACKLES+FUNNY+QUOTES/(c5fcb6c7471a59eff310c64ea943d6fb).jpg)
“I have a complicated relationship with gravity.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrU2I4dlg0ZlVTOTNoOE9jeGszMis0NmJnM3pTY1oxaDZMS1YxNU9UcDhHQ2hqTTMzbm8xeDZIQkJBemRGc1paVmRKRGZJa1BNMlAzemlGNnkvRndxZGc9/JENSEN+ACKLES+FUNNY+QUOTES/(a202d931e8b3a1d07e9fe35ed8a372eb).jpg)
“I don’t run from crowds, I run from bees.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWmxhQWZHQkhpdEhWTXk5cGpnS3BhRG5ETnRyTmFtbk1rdS9Tc2ZVWkZFNU9xNmE3N2FpMEhwWWlKcU9CZVd1S3JLM3BMWjNOd2daOW1QYVpObXVLQTNSbTN0S044YS9XcXJWZnl5cHF4eHFGMTVuUEVRV3pGcERKUzNmOHFQZnJRPT0%3D/JENSEN+ACKLES+FUNNY+QUOTES/(038dd5007b8fa3b6cec81a95b56f77bb).jpg)
“To be honest, I don’t even trust myself with sharp objects.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZG9LREczSFp4OTRMZFFjamwrVkpxNG80WXErZDg5TzBjNlFndk5vK05NdXN3TkNHZjM4NXltcGFPdjIyc0loQU9YR0VOU3NtY2FGdTlnYlJCYUZOWTd0M3Z1YllybXZidktEWW9YKzN2dmxHb3dEWEZDYW5UekdEK2p2Ty9SdGRlR044OVA1Ry9HbWZickZqbC9WNGxOeW1YckRZdStXL21pM2prK2ZKR1doTUVRVE1QblAyVUdJRzhmS0VsYkV2TnJFNHJDWTBjRTk1d2cydm1lRXMyMGhDSzFnb3NiWVFFZWdhYVFpWE5jaTRzTFRaM0xib3c4TEhzMUdiV1IxM2tzUGpQaE51RC9jZUw3cU5mWU1peGgzVkZwYkFQVHJQTkQvK2ZNVERFSEpLcjRtdytpNTNrWXJlTXlzQnNFVE9RPT0%3D/JENSEN+ACKLES+FUNNY+QUOTES/(485936b1f0fe891c91dfcb22afd30e05).jpg)
“Fact: If you drop a bowl of cereal, it always lands milk-side down. When you drop a cat, it always lands on its feet. So, if you strap a bowl of cereal to a cat’s back, it gets stuck in mid-air spinning indefinitely?”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZUFjNFdmMHBUV2I5N3NkdlRGV3lNU2YyZ1djay9QV3kzWVlZL0cxWXBuWk9RMVZETllZdWlJditpTjBsM0pOUlZFRWg1eG1iZ2tjdXZmREdDSFg4d0t3TWxVYmVMRGozaG9rUmZBZkpZbUtMcHN6L0dVdXhEMnIweDBpajNJRUZ3PT0%3D/JENSEN+ACKLES+FUNNY+QUOTES/(4f135eab1a4460e404bf7e4dca0312f2).jpg)
“If procrastination was a sport, I’d probably still come in second.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVk54ZVZ4SG5DYXlkNWRJY3dsWURnb2Zyb1pKTEkxLzdLTmxvbDFoYU9aRkgzYVRyN2l5SFBueXE2clZQUmhxWkxSK3hpSUFoVE1NcDhqcEtZcnZtNms9/JENSEN+ACKLES+FUNNY+QUOTES/(c4224f34fd8bedce649334d1aa0f7c90).jpg)
“Growing up is overrated. Just ask Peter Pan.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWTk3LzZwY0VuT1R0eDE1OStxQ3NUVFpvcjRJM0ZTK0lnMlNYWjdGa3BhM2s5RkdxRDR2cnZPOXNON2NrTFlKOU5xbFlIeEpad2lqcndJcjhvUXdISitnallTWkFDajlVQ3B5emVtL2xveW5rNmJBUGNQZHNhTjlLY3RSTUxLd2s2RGI5U3A3dGM2WTI5eDNGMjFzYXljPQ%3D%3D/JENSEN+ACKLES+FUNNY+QUOTES/(63e38faab9bfd2676b517930cdfa45ab).jpg)
“Whoever said ‘laughter is the best medicine’ clearly never had a pulled hamstring.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZWdLVytvWUxLaWEzVnpXZDhadWZLR1VabzE2eVZJRFNvMkRaRE9ZUkZFak5KcmluRE5MaExCbTdyRVQ5YkVNcUJwMi9pOUF4Z0NNUE5sby9QMmhKajkwbVhOYVorbTMrSjhNZTQzTHFoNkdSVVpnM2NReUFWOU5OMk4wUGluaGgzOGxaWlFJbFFlUUpxVEVselJ2VHc4ZzRNZFlIR0UxaUZrT1FXT0RwUjNSQT09/JENSEN+ACKLES+FUNNY+QUOTES/(a4b13f53f4492e91e3d669969d59cef0).jpg)
“I’m like a ninja in the dark, if ninjas were notorious klutzes and left a trail of broken things in their wake.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZW5vTk9XNzlNT3dVQ1EvYzdlV0RVbEh3cmNxb2ZhdGhoSnR3NWFxNzQ5d0JseDFVMHhobkptUkFvbmxZVlZGS3hrYTREalhKOXdvZ3hDN2VvUVo5MkttVHczUW1YemNsMk84OHRVUFJpWWRUNTUxNEpWS1dHZlo4SjA0cWxVWjl4UkpoZUs2TENURllxekphclFudXU1UFhIUUhKcDRqbDZVRkZ4QmtKSjNWSjNlTDlVOTBhUWZMbjlOMmlqaDFtaz0%3D/JENSEN+ACKLES+FUNNY+QUOTES/(3130d3e02b91d1418894519add1330d2).jpg)
“I’m not clumsy, I’m just doing my part to stimulate the economy by buying new stuff.” 50 KDRAMA QUOTES ABOUT TRUE LOVE
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRY1BhdzRZcFF4MDdsZEVmNmFnZkdUNnNHTmRuNWFpeWtUT1F0RVZnWDRxTmR6cm54K21vdjdVaWJOYUUzY1llcGNUN281aXc1ZXJuUllzK1p6Y2lqaEoreVNHV3NYSHoxdmt4S2FpencrQ2NEU2drK1FibytpcWM1TDB6OWN0cnBBPQ%3D%3D/JENSEN+ACKLES+FUNNY+QUOTES/(2abfe17a99689456964fdb77780708cc).jpg)
“I’ve made it a personal goal to break every piece of technology within my reach.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVDlvSTR1ZG41ZzFuMVpGVStXN3R2ZzVOalU3MURNR2V6WTRTTTZJeGhwZitQNWIzbEM5bVhzcmFDMkhCbzB6QjlxMmp3eVgzblcrWUsrVkxyaU4yM2dqQU0xUDBjak5lWE1lcFp6MS9yVStiUGpHTlcrS05xOEJVUVRlMmwycWtJbm83SEhMZmgwdUVaMVY2bHgvUU5BPQ%3D%3D/JENSEN+ACKLES+FUNNY+QUOTES/(d4c889d095b829867af548cb84a7a0c6).jpg)
“I don’t have a fear of heights, I have a fear of falling from heights. Big difference.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUUtIVVJ4Q1NsVHVBazMySjNmMktsNU1MdGNYRzFlN2lkRkl4WTArRjI5UExFVm9ldnpsNVRXNktVY1NzMTZWQm5rd01uQTlqZHQ2bDlVbXBOTUx3VW5sd2xoL3hvRjdIK1doSzl1RkFCR3ZJaE9WelMyN3JFUnZXc0lycHlQZ3F5MUVvbE1icVBTMTI1Wk5hU3JWVTVVeUltOStuMXl0WTRSWUY2RytVcTVD/JENSEN+ACKLES+FUNNY+QUOTES/(e4dff74f8cc7024398e3694aa3561d48).jpg)
“I have a talent for finding the one squeaky floorboard in a house and stepping on it every single time.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUmNlemNoU1JzZTZONk5DbXVaSWl2TWVLYmV0eTVDam8rK0ZHdENOaTF0NFZKbGlONjF6ZFRFOGdBaVZwcXl5U05rcjZiNnV3R0VOc1dPVE94bmVwMmwwcHloZGVwRTdQd3M5dTRYUWhpRkE%3D/JENSEN+ACKLES+FUNNY+QUOTES/(637c7c78f88c5f7a7cf538bed9415936).jpg)
“I can’t adult today. Or tomorrow. Or pretty much ever.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVEl4U1ZwT3lsT1RmZmoyMzFtcGNZVWg0Zi9qWmdxTFpHdG03b3ppV1B5WUxTbEgxUTE2dm9hdzJhb1dpeTczMWZyakJaaWZwSTJiUWhnMSt0dTFYdlFpZEpoZ3UrMmF4ZGQ0eXdIOXpnWDI%3D/JENSEN+ACKLES+FUNNY+QUOTES/(fbadf6384c19f239494306956905fadb).jpg)
“I always seem to have an unlimited supply of awkward moments.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWlZRVjI0aUtRUmh4WmZ3a3FBelFQM08wZlpFVU5WNFN0TG5UNTdySGU5SWJTNzR2UzNnVjQ2a0pYMnErVVR4U2tTS2pNS2VyVUNmazRFTlNpNXJqc3VPMkJMU2ljbmpkQ1lJMDY3MXBBOEE%3D/JENSEN+ACKLES+FUNNY+QUOTES/(8e433321e6ea3566c9e57fdfa8ea0215).jpg)
“I talk to myself because sometimes I just need expert advice.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUUtIVVJ4Q1NsVHVBazMySjNmMktsNGErLzR4UmFuMFBiKy9XV1A3UjJKNytzeFFLQmlSdmdBcFhqT3V0dU91WTBnRUFuZ01ZLzI5ZHBnYi9uRmRuOEZtaXFReHJHVUEyaG80SVJUTkJZZmF0d1IzbmZzT2d2L3UzSGk2OFg4RVI5dlo4SXRFMVRFRldsQUNuSkg4VW1vPQ%3D%3D/JENSEN+ACKLES+FUNNY+QUOTES/(00c209e9dd83ba87e260d4f62ccc89d0).jpg)
“I have a love-hate relationship with privacy. I hate being watched, but I love being noticed.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUklIMnBqL2JpNFVqc0dRNFd0cWwxTWZ4TkpRTjVxT2NZWHcrNmpjcVhWRG10Mk1aNWJrczVqZFJwYkhkV2JFSHZwV0N1ZHowa0toZmczS3ZvMWNicG5haFdrTzZYMnBSb3M2M1Y0eENFbFA3b1ZxMEppNmloMStrVVVYTGovM2EvbjRDM0NDbXBxRjhwV0JzanNQR1JNPQ%3D%3D/JENSEN+ACKLES+FUNNY+QUOTES/(aac061efbbcb66658a5277941928bb7e).jpg)
“If I had a dollar for every time I lost something, I’d probably lose that dollar too.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVUVZUldiZ29Bank0NU95OGtybzVyQURHM3NIQXVFN3B2SDJKVGxLLzJPd1dZL0NLZW1oVndVV2dodGIxbWNQbTErU0RLaTYxb24zY3FqQjdralVQYWhuMW5mV1NBaXRKMHFKMkpYbHRVYUlrZW9kZEltWGJObVB0eUg0elVOUDZhNTY5RDkwUTh4ODFpMEZJcUgxeUdYT09QMXdlQkdIK3FwSHM0ZzFhZFpqQVF2RTRTWGQvOEtTUHk2bEUxVDUyckpjZDNJVWxOUlAxcTVWclhzZURWRT0%3D/JENSEN+ACKLES+FUNNY+QUOTES/(088af7e0342fe1b1af34076bf0a6603c).jpg)
“I operate on a strict policy of ‘if I can’t see them, they can’t see me.’ It’s surprisingly effective.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRY052QVBTZlFMZzVhMXFDZWdxSFRBZlVEL0JqT1JxU0t5ZDdwRXdrTWd5eTVrS3pUZTQyMkk0NXMxUVRsUGYxbXFuVUE3YlQ3VituaDV4RmdoTnMwa0NweURuQ3djVTNrWUZEMzFMN1VabDRnPT0%3D/JENSEN+ACKLES+FUNNY+QUOTES/(9ff9d5d1484d5d59bd0cf77ec4abc3df).jpg)
“I’m not lazy, I’m just conserving energy for emergencies.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHBtbk0wSk54MnpIaERQM0MvaDBROTBuMHlDT3VvQ0o2aDhQNDRMM3pDVGd0Sk9Eb1BDV25vb2Vwd3pWclJLSVFDZVh5RHRHUStmaFA3OFhUbldFOWlMSkYxZVVtb3hYWnBKS0JiZ0NVQVk%3D/JENSEN+ACKLES+FUNNY+QUOTES/(f3b6efe607205452818ac70c3ca9ae84).jpg)
“I believe I can fly, but gravity strongly disagrees with me.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrV29LemovZllRNkUyN0lEV01FUUFWdTUzQXpVbkFOK1JiN3FxUkhadVVPNXVsQ1FPV0pENmxkYUNnY0MxZVB1R2FqQlVUTGljWmZXd2lzcnhSWStVdHE2MHRQMEVSS2NjMlI0YTN4NmFNYmtNQWNSNHA2dlFzUzBnTUIyRjNOZUgrQm1pWTZiMjZ6RjlvZTN5RHZuK1MxOXJIcWdPUGdoUGR4M0VNb3JtQThw/JENSEN+ACKLES+FUNNY+QUOTES/(ba0bbdc37121ce21c1ed3bf2b820f1b9).jpg)
Note: Some of these quotes are humorous adaptations inspired by Jensen Ackles, but are not direct quotes from him.