LOVE MARRIAGE FUNNY QUOTES

“Marriage is like a game of chess, except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke, and no move you make will actually affect the outcome.” – Jerry Seinfeld

“Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?” – Groucho Marx

“My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.” – Rodney Dangerfield

“Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.” – Pauline Thomason

“A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.” – Zsa Zsa Gabor

“Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.” – Gary Busey

“Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.” – Joey Adams

“Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you’ll wish you had a club and a spade.” – Unknown

“My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.” – Alec Baldwin

“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.” – Mignon McLaughlin

“Marriage is getting to have a sleepover with your best friend every night.” – Christie Cook

“Marriage is like a walk in the park: Jurassic Park.” – Unknown

“Why do married people live longer? Because they don’t have to listen to their spouses.” – Unknown

“I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She hugged me.” – Unknown

“Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind.” – Unknown MISSING YOU RIGHT NOW QUOTES

“Marriage is like a bank account. You put in what you get out, and when you find yourself in the red…you better pray for a good credit score.” – Unknown

“The secret to a happy marriage is having a husband who never says no and a wife who never says yes.” – Ogden Nash

“Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.” – Unknown

“In my house, I’m the boss. My wife is just the decision-maker.” – Woody Allen

“Marriage is like a phone call in the middle of the night: first the ring, and then you wake up.” – Unknown

“Marriage is an investment for which divorce is the insurance.” – Unknown

“Marriage is when a man and woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.” – Unknown

“Marriage is all about compromise. For example, my wife loves to watch romantic comedies, so we compromise: I watch them with her, and she compromises by marrying me.” – Unknown

“Marriage is a relationship where one person is always right, and the other is the husband.” – Unknown

“Marriage is a three-ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, suffering.” – Unknown

“The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it.” – Unknown

“Marriage is like a game of poker. You start with two hearts and a diamond, and then you end up wishing you had a club and a spade.” – Unknown

“Marriage: when dating goes too far.” – Unknown