![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZWVKRkpsa3NZWXRvM0ZyT0Qrb1lxRXp0QmEyTUZ2NTdNNEZmTUcrc0lsdHl5djM5YWdHYVZOWVd4dk9VZ0gzQWxlYTljYkphMkYrWVRRUHZvMEUrQlFnSmVMODUveTdKbjQvSTFKYm1uNnRVamxXWm1mOGtReFRCdHY1U2hYTTdpdytiUXJtUFF1Y1NDMjVNYUZjTHVnL0dlb0h6NXdhZXh3U3FRcGVhNkFZbjlzc3BHUFBDTVY2S0NXajJCcWRXbWNWZWFwVnVHTCtSdjAzSjNHZzR2U1AyZEl1ODFoWjJGMkhlT3JkVUw3WW5PZVViK2E1R2FCK3NjTkZmYUV3bVE9PQ%3D%3D/MAY+YOUR+DAY+FUNNY+QUOTES/(bafd27895da7740c97dff4f63d7a5286).jpg)
“Today is a good day to have a great day. And if you’re having a hard time doing that, just remember that ‘great’ rhymes with ‘pizza’.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYisrRXl6TkNtcGljOCt4SjlKaGVMVFBLT000NzVLZldiVStzK3IxZkdlb2hOTVNobDRCVUF4WVBKaERjcE10T3JLNEZ0WktMRjU4VlcvZGl2K1Q5VnVKWXhDZ0F6cy94NGU4Rm04cnR1Mmg%3D/MAY+YOUR+DAY+FUNNY+QUOTES/(6cc3b533358f6ed03796acc7b4dc97cd).jpg)
“I tried to be normal once. Worst two minutes of my life.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRWbmNJamdWWk5kdE1wNTlpMjRWUzdBY3RFQzk2eDdNVUxWZFh6TzNCNUdudUUyWWIvQ0Q1aWhuNVNFTVZ0eVdjajZLS0p6NkV1dkdhY2N1NTBpMDg9/MAY+YOUR+DAY+FUNNY+QUOTES/(350da6e9f1b013e39c6187648aecd2a4).jpg)
“Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRY052QVBTZlFMZzVhMXFDZWdxSFRBZkRmNDhCN2daM0xNM1UwQmlaWHkra2tyenk3WTd0TEp4Y1ZPbTZYbXlpZlN5S2c4eVJKRWpFbWhZcCtIa21NeTY%3D/MAY+YOUR+DAY+FUNNY+QUOTES/(205c355bef0370c6f1c3ed1f0393ca4d).jpg)
“I’m not lazy, I’m just in energy-saving mode.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZVVha0ZRc0M1WmFyZXZiVFJaa3EvUER6QnFFaUJIdEwvMSswdXRYUVhpNExuemJxSGFrU1kwdlB6VGNLdmo1M29jTmh5VnFDKzRpd2pIczJEWWdvcDlBZ2FUdHZqMWhTaURWSzU4bDIzUVZtUm1HWGZLNzE3clZFVmFtRmZ1RUd3PT0%3D/MAY+YOUR+DAY+FUNNY+QUOTES/(6c1b93342bbc3f29f9668455ac4c04ba).jpg)
“If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZW5vTk9XNzlNT3dVQ1EvYzdlV0RVbDREdm5PODluQnY0TkhidnVlaFVpT25zQ25KVDZmTzdBVlNBL2NFcFVzQ3dsR1ducFpQeVYwUjU0QzZrUDIzRm9Zc1loaUpZYUZuczJrc3UwTUdpMGhnPT0%3D/MAY+YOUR+DAY+FUNNY+QUOTES/(0328b8b861acd5392c2b332bde903628).jpg)
“I’m not clumsy, I’m just on a mission to test gravity.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZFFUMUtIRUpQUE16aDhxaGxGazk2VkFKNTFxMlVpeHRWU0tZQ1g5T3pxb2c4d2pzQXNnbHoxeVp1VHdzM0xWd0xKM1ZDbE9NK2tyUnZiQjg4U0NqdVN3VkVMVkxLYXFUaGhXL0loQlVkcUtBPT0%3D/MAY+YOUR+DAY+FUNNY+QUOTES/(62564ecc891a3a2016f1cfeddaf9a2df).jpg)
“I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.” – Michael Scott
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVVJkc0FkQlV3cEpxK2lSbjgyeXZFelVwUmVpcHFqdFQ0VkhpbGlvWkdlRk83RENramRNMGNXV3ZxU1oxRko5OUtsOXc3THF5Q0E3aWRDNTFnQ0F0NEQzSGNoRDhsL3hUUTJqUUU1MU1GSDRxWVhwczRDUVhuSTgvWjh1S2RFTmF3PT0%3D/MAY+YOUR+DAY+FUNNY+QUOTES/(1ba9c25b8b6b703f57b7401b134827dc).jpg)
“I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrY0FlWjlFeUtrNG90TXJHeE9xaCtTckZTT2Q0Vnl5ZFhaMWdreHp2WWJwbHU3SDBOLzhoRUxYcEZDeXM3SmRPOGJmMWlnbFpuTWoyT2pGOU5zNzhVMlVoSStjdk5qNGhRWEY0ZHBvNUVabFI%3D/MAY+YOUR+DAY+FUNNY+QUOTES/(d6d564323e8b086fd6f2b27f5706edd7).jpg)
“Some people just need a high-five. In the face. With a chair.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZUZicng1S2VhOWh5QkpBR0pWcGVLUU1EYmNjR0dEMHlKL3FLTmU5RGNKRVRZeXJBTnAvWEZ6NnVPU1pQSVdKZTdzcmJzelpSQ3ZZVjVIWGg5ZnF6WnU%3D/MAY+YOUR+DAY+FUNNY+QUOTES/(92b9dc6560bb3d56a9cf632221685a67).jpg)
“I’m not a player, I just crush a lot… of candy.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVXpVTVpLcjdncC9sV1VQbXVCKy9OWGlvTGVDNXFzNVR6ak1YcW1WaElEODlHOHdyaUpsRXhKaEJhTHdReGk5M1R6bjVSOHpsY0RkdkdXV0hjNFoxSTBsRGorSkJESWo2MXh0RVFFeG1aNGdDa2ViRXFEWTN2ZXNscEEvdkhKaXk4MHVQVXFUSGJOLzhFN1ZreEp2TjdNPQ%3D%3D/MAY+YOUR+DAY+FUNNY+QUOTES/(2acbe1bdbb144085b2aeaeedee1ccaa6).jpg)
“If you can’t remember my name, just call me anytime before 8 am or after 9 pm.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVDlvSTR1ZG41ZzFuMVpGVStXN3R2aTlKNXhoeWhCNS9jU1hyQ2FLOHdJd0Q1cVR3ZEFWSWdDclJuaDhLQ2VIVGxKdjNoa0RuYmhnOURBVVZObE5uaVdDd3k3NnJzdTNtbTNnODljQW1lMVlNRWswSGtEUDZvVGc3WWdqMWwyUDJ3PT0%3D/MAY+YOUR+DAY+FUNNY+QUOTES/(b86fc853d6925a9d0f55b0c4593877bc).jpg)
“I don’t need an alarm clock. My ideas wake me up.” – Ray Bradbury
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWUhtam5XalBwQTFwYWFjRGpFRlhMbmcxTU5ORUI1MFB0eS92cU5uQkRIMXJENW9MMjVPenhIV2lXdFBwSTQrTnRPR0ZPYVc1VC9tSW4zNHN4Um8yUHN2MWRONlJBQVJ0RVE4bndaNG1JWTNiZzVSaUg5RG53clppeXJJZU93NTUrVzFkbENQQmtMdmtGa0lISDlQTlp6Tkp2YW9xT25OaGdSZ29Xb1NRdWlUODhvZHUyRkJUOUpNYjRYQlcxN0Z4UU1CcHpwdDI0OE8zV21UMWFTWUVUdz0%3D/MAY+YOUR+DAY+FUNNY+QUOTES/(66f7f21110f3a0812e9bda50fa4c81ca).jpg)
“My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I was supposed to do.” INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES ABOUT DEATH OF A FATHER
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWHVkVWgvUmV5TzBINFJPZHB3QlBUdWZHdUdTV3dYSUh5YjFTRVFBdkVWamVnaGIvVDI0TXA0dWdPMkgrU3lrVkJLZHZYS3hNYzA0dUFwTlBQSld5Mll6VTRuVVcxNGRrNFlvbVlTTXlzQmN3Q2pNSzhpUVZSSWpvWkNmS0JvNjlnaHRGYllpU2dmYjZSeXF5elF2anZRQlp6OU8raDJBWWtXaDRFWFdRRWNp/MAY+YOUR+DAY+FUNNY+QUOTES/(761f054af9b6c4647e566ce082225794).jpg)
“I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.” – Douglas Adams
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWi9Fd2IxZTNrT3dkWVNwVGhrSGh1YU8zVk1RUVBFZmxyZkIxaFpITFZIckJJQldvMUZhZDZOd3JYWFBYbXBMNlhwYjFnWGJ4MFRIYW9GeFJPLzkwRmVlMjVpY0I3QXRSTkgxZ3VTc1dnQzI%3D/MAY+YOUR+DAY+FUNNY+QUOTES/(236ffcbbd5de559f16eb8403ff669137).jpg)
“I can resist anything except temptation… and pizza.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUmNlemNoU1JzZTZONk5DbXVaSWl2TWVLYmV0eTVDam8rK0ZHdENOaTF0NE9wVXZlNkRhNHF1Z05GV0c2VDFiZkRjbFhRZnNWbGVsRnBLR3N3YmQyMlh3UmdKMzZDbDhvclRadUNtZUpMYUw%3D/MAY+YOUR+DAY+FUNNY+QUOTES/(b4534f10782b2da30a75227a1f7e65e6).jpg)
“I can’t adult today. Please, don’t make me adult.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRWbmNJamdWWk5kdE1wNTlpMjRWU1dsNmhYNXhKSnoyVFJxamJNYUF1WlNoUUZybDY4QTNMNE4rU01NZlZsNzdpbkNCQ2xEUXpUQWZ5blNkOVpOTXZKOG41enVCWWpUMVo2WjRISGxmdTBORE9OaXJ2NWk3M2FDTFFva2RTTVN1dHRUTUZBZ0hLS3FsK0VHeDJLeURLUFc3RDg3Z3Iyb25DbTkwOWJxOVlPRVpBTzVoVmtNR1YydExKeFFHL1NaejdzelMwTC95eDk5LzRBeVFjcTRUbDRVeXlPSnBTZURlWEovbUZQeWV4dHpkQ2Q3RStWbWRqTmw1dmZyVFAxcEE9PQ%3D%3D/MAY+YOUR+DAY+FUNNY+QUOTES/(f402f9eda5d3d18f795ca9d5b80538c0).jpg)
“Life is like a camera. Focus on what’s important, capture the good times, develop from the negatives, and if things don’t work out, take another shot.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZjBkYSt6eGw2OTFaLzN1NnlEQ3cxVXU5ZUEyZ2I3Mko2elplVmhHVnBPR0VzWEcxYU5CTlBCeXBoZ0dOTnY0aE13cEk2a2VNZ05lK0ZNRWNZYXkybTEvbitvTzFLYm5JbGtNbW04SUladm4%3D/MAY+YOUR+DAY+FUNNY+QUOTES/(e0838cf3e36aa8b3d0af2fcd1b87c458).jpg)
“I got 99 problems, but my sense of humor ain’t one.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZS9vTHJWYk1nUkl4cDlZak9ONm1ERnpmYTNmcFZZUUJxNlJkZm9uK1Rhd1k3a1dMc1h3aHdGOXljTVBmbTh1SGJ0MExaMVRWWWlOSHBmdXJVenk2QTQ9/MAY+YOUR+DAY+FUNNY+QUOTES/(1d6a8bf4cfda98ce195ca1d1dca00fb4).jpg)
“Why be moody when you can shake your booty?”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRY0tOR21CT0FGNk45NWkyNHVIUXpOTUxmOHk2NXR6TnovcHFYY1QwMlhDRzAvbDlPdFl0MXYrUlhncFVEcVJCV2EvUG95Y1Z6WC9idThhZ2h0ZW1LZGZtcjM0Sk5WZ29LalpYNGw4VHhvbitZRTRYYnFmb0laVkJod0RBeUFzRXBZPQ%3D%3D/MAY+YOUR+DAY+FUNNY+QUOTES/(fcce5d4dd730e9831cad63b3d216028e).jpg)
“I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right and you’re wrong.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVDlvSTR1ZG41ZzFuMVpGVStXN3R2Z2EyemtBSmRuNTVXMENISklaaS80WEZsUDBUR0xjUWdwSjNJVTVhUEFkdVhPUndXdDEzRXFFdzdHbVRYWUdRdEtRWS9lcmRkQUF1azJVaUpBM1RsRFg%3D/MAY+YOUR+DAY+FUNNY+QUOTES/(180cdc40b7e6937dc844290bf9a13c07).jpg)
“I don’t have a dirty mind; I have a sexy imagination.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZkphZWxiSUVyWlpBOUVTUSswejl4bXQ1eUg2SC9NdExDb3NMcVZoRE1WN1ZaMmlWQ1BNR1BiQm5aOXJ0TEdTWXdOWXlnQkRRMTRuNFJSc2hmKy9VdXU%3D/MAY+YOUR+DAY+FUNNY+QUOTES/(96c71cadea9c7ee7d1c386a18f869a61).jpg)
“I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrY1BPUHByK085RTVKalYrd04yZHc4R0dDZlc5Y2Z4N1NCUnN3S0ZyTE84bUFBaFVuZTFvN05uZWQ2QWo5b28rWFdDVFdNdjdibFNZeEtobG1ISDRaNDJGK1pwTWRGWVNHN0RZOHZZbzVpQWhjajVVemc5YVU2UldBWDFYcWpkZGtRPT0%3D/MAY+YOUR+DAY+FUNNY+QUOTES/(0c7d28efcde5bfb6dd3e29283979e1e0).jpg)
“Just because I can’t dance doesn’t mean I won’t dance.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZWR4K2JneDQzbncwNWVnVERJNHk2M0dQWHA4ckNMSzVCTHhEVXVpYVMzYURlZWRMMUkyUlFxQXYxSmpTalQ3V2t1U3hKbXFENkZ4d1BDWE9nWllMVlo%3D/MAY+YOUR+DAY+FUNNY+QUOTES/(d51e0e43006b0bdcbf1499fc2cb0ff02).jpg)
“I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWDF1VG10VlZkcU1KVUNYY1l0MWN2R250NGR4TmlGN21NSWszUzZIaURaUDluQ0hjZE9mSnRKS2ZWcS8zQm5GMDByREZwR1lLYVVPL3p5c1dJMFBDRTc0bWdxMFZaUzErSC9DTUJNaFZTenJMNGd0SkV5T2liQkMyRzA2eWZ6MW9nPT0%3D/MAY+YOUR+DAY+FUNNY+QUOTES/(1e53a8aeb6358f52bc0e4eb4a76bb382).jpg)
“Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.”