![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYk5WT04xdk5meFluVm5hWkpxY09TUzA5RVR0K1lNYTlMRi9QcXdlV3JUV0haNDlnNUt1ZWJDS1pibG9YK0VLMzRNNHJJaUg0VGpGbFF3NituRDRjakFxeE9nQXBieVEwQWZwSVFVMlhOWEpSbUFMakxIbktCdVcwT2U3NGNZaS9zUTNvVU0zZHovSUQxcHN4SyttUFJBTEdENUg3WUZEWmFybHdxbEZ2Q3VVQjhTMUorcGJEQ0oxMEFDb0ZLK2FKQT09/MICHAEL+BLACKSON+FUNNY+QUOTES/(d624d021291e85cfccb31e75fb133596).jpg)
“I’m African, we don’t let nothing go to waste. There’s starving kids in Africa that would love these jokes.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVFFSRTJLaHZwY3BIVklOeFhMUEZCOFd6Y2UydFZBeVdGWXJnNUhxNnl0amJoQmUrNTl1dlJrSGc5cWRmbWM3RlpkQUhkUkFjWWJkYzVveCtpRmxJd2VBNGViWTNIb3hDNUNTZWFoV1QrWkJNN21RKzlrS0pzTkZxRkg0TVg0ZUdwSmRialRoaUFibnNldE5DNXdvNHJFPQ%3D%3D/MICHAEL+BLACKSON+FUNNY+QUOTES/(0f5052efd6a34729676e0d39f1a4b173).jpg)
“If I’m not making you laugh, then you must be dead inside. Or just really boring.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrY3NueGQ2WjEzbnNla3JtTER6YzNwemY0bWxhRFJONG5za3hGWVUvblgrWmxYYllneEFuOXg4VlNVbkhBSy96Wk91WWZuNmhIcmxsVU0wRGduM01kZmFQWDJocDMwaE5XYnBlN0VmZ1NTSE51b3NGUGNCRUVRR09vK050Umt3MW1qVG1Vd3pnMzBPVmpURDBwaXBjbURFPQ%3D%3D/MICHAEL+BLACKSON+FUNNY+QUOTES/(fd69f6c60d17dfcbda23e25fd8b02b08).jpg)
“I didn’t choose the thug life, the thug life chose me. And I had no say in the matter.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZjlBZjVlRHdGNUFkWUk5OXJ0M2Y4c3R3NHV3dkk1bUJlc21BQUR3aXV0c2U3elBOM0N1ZWE2Qk1SRkNBSklEMVdBZysrbFVFU3NLdTduVDl1ZDBkK2MwTUhEeVZmNi90WTUzUkhXUDRnWXdqWDdHcSsvTk5ISUlpbHVaNTkwZXZjelExelR2Qm9RUC9OT1R5WU9JY053PQ%3D%3D/MICHAEL+BLACKSON+FUNNY+QUOTES/(087309fe5cc0d3734feef0eb3de62a11).jpg)
“My Nigerian accent is so good, the scammers in my hometown think I’m one of them.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRWbmNJamdWWk5kdE1wNTlpMjRWUjR6N082SCsxSE5rcUN3anJZOGRTbklHaUxXbFpteTFZTlBDR2JzeW85bXlNZEhKN3RxZno4Zld6ME9qLzlGNFNhNEFON3BjVHN3aWxOdi9FMWNUdnBndlZrd29VdkpyZ3VCT3FSdEJyRTk3WGttZVFjMitIcHVUWHhQeUE0d1FZPQ%3D%3D/MICHAEL+BLACKSON+FUNNY+QUOTES/(d4eeeaaa6d67330eb0bd28eaed8a6203).jpg)
“Life is too short to take everything seriously. Except money, take money very seriously.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZlZJNlAvZW1OWjFsanpwcnEyaUdmNlR2SzVTV1FjOFdIby9Yc21EaGZQWVlETUVpTmYxT1g2S0V5SDdXak95amRLRjB3VkdOWWJ5bW9RRFF5VWt5YzEyTzkrMW52bGRLWWVKUmR4aG96a2VDZ2RuU3BBZzRjc2xDVmRVckJ6SGpBVUdQNjlyN3Z6TVNQQlYwT0lMTDZqVWxJQkdiMjB1QzdLaWNSengyMVVS/MICHAEL+BLACKSON+FUNNY+QUOTES/(a58067eadaa66ad3224d51370e9dd24f).jpg)
“If they had a driver’s license test for comedy, I would definitely fail. But in a very entertaining way.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZlA5UFp3aWc3QWVFZHdrQUxqY2hzNjQ3VW95Mm1NZXhEY3c4Z1NKSlpUbVJIR0RRc0JoVUhrNVFMUHdva0kzdTFWYllMU0J4U3NLdk45QU1JbFhXNDg1UUx2c0ltdjZYN2kxRGFXOFpsc1I4cG5YZ3c3VEVnQTBlQ0tjNVRBaDVLQys3dXZEQTRtb2psMWRNaWQ2Nm8rYXJiK1VPaWFVT0xGYU5DYWJYR2txUT09/MICHAEL+BLACKSON+FUNNY+QUOTES/(11998054f109dbbdd5b210650f096b3d).jpg)
“I’m not saying I’m the funniest person in the world, but I’m definitely top two. And maybe three.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZG9aUk9xcDVnQ05ESXdFajB1M0ZPYm9tMS9ML1k4TkE0QVRhdkJoTlBKL2UvbnVYcUl3NzZhc3JrYW1wQ0RwbXdyeldWb1JlaVpPUVdkUkZrOS9TS3NwYnlCcTJYWDQva3R3UUZHRkIvMG5SYmpvT1orY2Nsa0Q0UWZFU1dRbWhBeVlNQVNmZDBQajVvMitLREpwSENVa1ZialQ4d1RjTkYvdGN3aFQ4SjlFa01UcFpETlJ5SndiVWJycHhydDZsQlpJclI0ZCtCZC9taUtBR1FRQXBhND0%3D/MICHAEL+BLACKSON+FUNNY+QUOTES/(fbe1ea21ad79d819ff94cb9178d50a50).jpg)
“You can’t be successful in life without a sense of humor. Unless you’re a bank robber, then you just need a getaway car.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUkVBOExIaHdySHM2eVFNWjBCQTBtdytoS2tDUDRHQnNHQkJ6Zk5RcCtTbkVVOTVXS2VMOXA4QVpnNnp3SXdCMVA0bjVzeTN6ZTV3QlBOT0FqYXkzUThpUHFYVFp6ZWQ4c21aRmNLbTVOZ3JPTlNhQjVRVVF0OVpobjQ3eXpGTTNsMVlaRjdlQkFOUWREcCt1ZVUzYXZKM3JSNzRFejg5eTkwcjdKUlBVck1ZNnB1TWZaNCtEU1hHTStqcmtZMlo3QT09/MICHAEL+BLACKSON+FUNNY+QUOTES/(72eaa4a6ce8fece1bc1cad32b037f92a).jpg)
“I used to call my ex-girlfriend a snack, but then I realized she was more like a full-course meal. With a side of attitude.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrU1NnTkZXVDFtZmIwcExtQUhLUzRhNmswWFlibDNLbXVsTzZHZC9ZNjNDNzZoSUZEWjJSMHlvL21nOVhsOExZUHRzV0hSUGlsazZFdW5qUDZTcUpoTjN5bkdxalJlQ05XUTU0V1Z3K3N1SC9CZmdUQzJ4OFpqKzRwRzZSNS8rSmhZNzVqK05hQTdlSC9Yd05xdnNXeHhKeHRNcC9iL3NUSVVuZFlHbzRyQ3kyL3QrVTFBdFk4cCtoTlJTaXNJTDNWUWNKeTBBSXU1VUE1dDd6algxY2hacGVhdmlGazBVbzVPV2hJcTJJNWl6Tw%3D%3D/MICHAEL+BLACKSON+FUNNY+QUOTES/(1697a0be7f1b030cf31e2d40c1b03410).jpg)
“If loving food is wrong, then I don’t wanna be right. But I’ll still complain about gaining weight, because that’s what real men do.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYisrRXl6TkNtcGljOCt4SjlKaGVMU0lHTDhmNm5LSkJwOVZKYzdWbm43anByVWpna3RLV1BmRzkrRElCa2ZhZjlQbmZ0RWRTQXI0ZGhxWVd0WVRoaVV4TzZQY1MwRzcrL01ENUxEMHF3Y1VNeWk4RERhZ29GcEM3SmZSVTRNZk0za3pPK2l3VTlyQlNWVXdYTmVKdVJSUzNZcDhvSWh0alQ1SnhHL1VZQ1ZnUnJtbGJsTWdzakNVTEw0czZTNDJETWpTMXJSRWhQRFQ0M0lmcGtvTlROUT0%3D/MICHAEL+BLACKSON+FUNNY+QUOTES/(76476e24e69674d73f7abf313c964f09).jpg)
“I tried working out once, but then I realized it’s just like paying someone to make you feel uncomfortable.” FAMOUS MIS QUOTES
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWW9tZkY4L29zWGw4RDJOcGhoakhZbGJFMXl2aWhEb0NrM2pNNFg2MVlQUjZhNWRvSk9KYzJWeEMzc0c5UDlZbnhXWUtQcmc3QmxxVTdMMDlYOUkxUzBHN2FKcmNTU20yVDZ6dWRUMmkvd2ZSK2djWlBBbWIzN1lPTWt6aGg3RUhLeXVlNUdaSHBSZ1FSaW51dklsUnQ4PQ%3D%3D/MICHAEL+BLACKSON+FUNNY+QUOTES/(9f27d547305cc30a14c67233cdb0e0a0).jpg)
“I put the ‘lit’ in ‘illiterate’, because nobody can read my handwriting.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYkQ2R3ZhU3gvdUxheW40WlkwTExiZWVZQ1VDemw4NjNYdmlXOTk1anZIQWlvaldUSjM5WGdGQUY3MnVEMmFPRC9GVGhqV3lNTFlqVGI5cm5Mazhady9LVDlkc2FYMi9vV2pxUm13bFg3YzN1anBUZThBZW1mdXM2cy9xUVZMbHphWk9kV0tsQTlBS2RlOVhkbWd3YVdJUTk3SjltYjF2dmpLd0pjU2ZJVWpsUlJibzJqMjlsR3NpWnhTVlkyV3VmOExTM2o3SzRZdHROam1DZndjZ0xIZ1lWeDZYR3ZQdll2TS9PZ3pQYUhxSA%3D%3D/MICHAEL+BLACKSON+FUNNY+QUOTES/(4121d8a2fbf4b29e0be9368bb0e0d6ab).jpg)
“They say laughter is the best medicine, but let’s be honest, laughter can’t cure everything. Except maybe a broken heart. And a bad haircut.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYkdSUEFhWDhuV2Y2VWwycklvWXBrQ21KRHFzcWhJQzNpYlV6N2c5SFkwU2U5TDcxWXJzbHorcXJFbEM4TWw3cG8wY3U1MVJBMDU0dENtYktpc0pDUC9wVG43K0NrS1JXSjN2QTYvMXFIakxGaG40RSsra3NrVUtWd3hNY2NieXc4RFhlNU15R1Q1SHVNTHNMZXBDZnBrPQ%3D%3D/MICHAEL+BLACKSON+FUNNY+QUOTES/(fecdebd657ff07301c3f4a04048e09cf).jpg)
“I got a magic trick for all the ladies out there. Watch me make your self-esteem disappear.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUlRXQkx5VHBEREpCcjB4aldlRmRPTkx4clQ0UXVncXZWR0RWNnVNUUFBZGRGU3BkaHRQdzRMdmNLbDY0Mko4czc5aVk3Y0Q5Q0hIR055QnA0cElxemhkVitmSUU0OVpaSTY1a3FzVlFYU1BIbFRMcXY2aFBqTWcvK2E4dkpvTVhNTWVOWjE0M2xRbGhhaU5Wb0o0V2NxQ1JzQ1k5V3pQdTRERnBaOXFla1lpZEpUY0swaUd4M1M2OFg2b21HaE5XM2MxMkI3NE05WkdDRUlxVFFpLy90eXB6Q3BxeGN6cWlpRmxQTHF4VUU4QQ%3D%3D/MICHAEL+BLACKSON+FUNNY+QUOTES/(8c1e38a984637f1cf4a5e6b5d964b514).jpg)
“If you need relationship advice, come to me. I’ve been married, divorced, and cheated on. I’m like a walking encyclopedia of bad decisions.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZklGRnQvampqK1pFeEt4RXVHTTF2UzQxcFNPSW5oSUc2VUpCdFNFTk4rUWVCdUVGUFR3K2lXWWdqaW9vNVlydUt4bzViY0lhQS9rNnMyNFlZMHVMblhvUXZ4TE5hMHovSmJvejJ1THJZSnJ2TXBpV21WMCtsWG4yMHF0RWRUWTE4VDRYZGFBMXp3cWdnSENaVG84TVdIL2Q1NXBOWkJ0L0x1UVNVbTRKcWZQZz09/MICHAEL+BLACKSON+FUNNY+QUOTES/(5ddee0ba47a51080ffe520e8779cdd3c).jpg)
“I’m so funny, I could make a mime laugh. And that’s saying something, because mimes don’t laugh.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRTblU1OUpvbUpoSTFnUEo5NEgrNlNacndlZjd3dHZzOEdlTmZIdmgzOEd2WlAyN0tnRUlIeVN3Uk1LR2xJWGhWZkFEZWtoSVkxY1didi82L0JWMzlCV29wTVF2QXJra3IwZjZ3MTlTZkczdm82cmdhMEZLQnNKcVBpVmlqcSs3dk1xL0s3VU55Q2UxbTBJeTBKSVEra2hLMEh5cUNUU1Y3ZEUvNzlTV0kv/MICHAEL+BLACKSON+FUNNY+QUOTES/(e05077b78e64fec8e112368bb49913ea).jpg)
“Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the side it was on had way too much drama and negativity.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWTIxUENjRzkvbEY3NkM1ZEFxOUx5L29jMENoMUtoRXlCZEcxWUdDMEo1MEExeGdsWHYyS09sOFNTM0szOW9kVU5ncTF0bGJlYkhLNjFCWGUrbytyaEhyeFhacU9xaTJDTExMbUt1cDc3WmRqbDN2aVVNUFljRU1yZkZleHd1ZFlvb0M1UGMxN0VsVGdyMmcvYlZvbmpoNDZGeE5EV0t3cTlrRk4yNWN3TjB0aFBhbFJmUllHUWNKaEw0WEd3cmVXS0xPT1l5YTlUZWlkSGxFTDVJV1ZFcz0%3D/MICHAEL+BLACKSON+FUNNY+QUOTES/(d7c25463b40422683723ef61d8dfa844).jpg)
“I usually don’t do impressions, but here’s my impression of your bank account after payday: *makes sound of crickets chirping*”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZURPbGl2a0FSQk13RDNGaFlmUWczNlhac2tPZHE4UElQbGdHV2ZhQU9TcTNXcGVHQUxUOGpIQ3hRYXg5K1U4VUFaTGZrVVZRRFExVWdLMUJ1STlETy94cWpxb2QyZFdnQm1aUXNNMXVsQ1BrWVhOZjhidlhqaVhKck9rQVdwaCtzPQ%3D%3D/MICHAEL+BLACKSON+FUNNY+QUOTES/(b117039a4691370b2d4b7574093c7cb6).jpg)
“I’ve been called a hot mess, but I prefer to think of myself as a chill disaster.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZXdRdmUwRXFnSzdOY3JTRHB4ZVV5UkNDVjc0RDdyWkFucnNzd0pyMDlKcEcrU0s5Q0l3dGpwRTBvYU5IQlZxaWZDR0NST1B4UDc3emtSa1NSR2IwVCtuaDN6SmUzWk5kRUQ0K2lTYkh0M0luM0s2MDR0TWhmVm9wR0VqcXB5NG9OeGdPSE85ZFFHREFmTjFUVHZIREk0PQ%3D%3D/MICHAEL+BLACKSON+FUNNY+QUOTES/(2c2b03b16074c68b34d688975e18a6ed).jpg)
“If laughter is the best medicine, then comedy clubs should be covered by insurance.”