MISSING MY HUSBAND FUNNY QUOTES

“I told my husband to stop being a nuisance, but he just kept coming back every night.” – Unknown

“I asked my husband what he plans to do today. He said, ‘Absolutely nothing,’ and that’s when I realized he misunderstood the concept of retirement.” – Unknown

“My husband always complains that I don’t listen to him. I just wish he’d pay attention to the laundry instructions on his clothes.” – Unknown

“Marriage is all about compromise. For example, my husband watches his TV shows, and I pretend to be interested.” – Unknown

“They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. Well, my husband is rarely home, so he must be incredibly fond of me.” – Unknown

“Marriage is like a deck of cards. You start with two hearts and a diamond, but by the end, you just want a club and a spade.” – Unknown

“My husband always asks me if I have a plan for the day. My plan is to avoid him as much as possible.” – Unknown

“I married my husband for better or worse, but I never imagined it would be both at the same time.” – Unknown

“My husband thinks changing a lightbulb is a project. Meanwhile, I’m performing DIY surgery on our kitchen sink.” – Unknown

“I love my husband, but let’s be honest, he couldn’t find his way out of a paper bag if I wasn’t there directing him.” – Unknown

“I told my husband I needed some space, so he bought me a telescope. Thanks, babe.” – Unknown QUOTES ABOUT SEEING NEW PLACES

“My husband believes he’s the king of the remote control. Little does he know, I have the power to hide it whenever I want.” – Unknown

“Every time my husband makes a joke, I fake laugh. It’s like being married to a stand-up comedian with no sense of humor.” – Unknown

“They say laughter is the best medicine, and that’s why I married my husband. He’s a complete joke.” – Unknown

“My husband asked me if I wanted to hear a construction joke. I said, ‘Sure,’ and he replied, ‘Sorry, I’m still working on it.'” – Unknown

“My husband is always checking his hair in the mirror. I don’t have the heart to tell him that it’s been the same for the past 20 years.” – Unknown

“If loving my husband is wrong, then I don’t want to be right. But just to be clear, he’s still a pain in the rear.” – Unknown

“My husband recently started a new hobby – rearranging the living room furniture every week. It’s nice to have a constantly changing maze at home.” – Unknown

“I asked my husband how many pairs of shoes a woman needs. He said, ‘Just one more.’ I think I’m going to need a bigger closet.” – Unknown

“My husband says I never listen to him. At least I think that’s what he said. I wasn’t paying attention.” – Unknown