MOTHER KNOWS BEST FUNNY QUOTES

“I asked my mom what she thought of my new hairstyle and she said, ‘Well, at least it’s not permanent!'”

“My mom always told me I could be anything I wanted to be. Turns out she was talking about my potential as a disappointment.”

“Mom: ‘Money doesn’t grow on trees.’ Me: ‘Then why are there so many branches at the bank?'”

“My mom’s favorite exercise is running late for everything.”

“Mom: ‘Make sure to wear clean underwear in case you’re in an accident.’ Me: ‘I think in an accident, my underwear would be the least of my concerns.'”

“Mom: ‘Why are you always on your phone?’ Me: ‘Why are you always watching soap operas?'”

“My mom always said, ‘If your friends jumped off a cliff, would you?’ Well, if they’re jumping off a cliff, they’re probably having more fun than me!”

“Mom: ‘Don’t make that face, it will freeze like that!’ Me: ‘*Makes a silly face* Well, that would be an interesting conversation starter!'”

“My mom’s cooking is so bad, the flies in our house tip-toe around the kitchen.”

“Mom: ‘Money doesn’t buy happiness.’ Me: ‘But it buys pizza, which is pretty close.'”

“My mom always reminds me to wear sunscreen, but I still manage to get burnt just by opening the fridge.”

“Mom: ‘If you make that face again, it’ll stick.’ Me: ‘How lucky that would be, now I won’t need to worry about wrinkle creams!'” QUOTES IN SPANISH ENGLISH TRANSLATION

“My mom’s idea of a balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.”

“Mom: ‘You’ll understand when you’re older.’ Me: ‘I can’t wait to reach the age where I pretend I understand everything!'”

“My mom’s superpower is finding things I’ve misplaced… right after I’ve given up and bought a replacement.”

“Mom: ‘When I was your age, we didn’t have smartphones.’ Me: ‘That explains why you always know where the TV remote is.'”

“My mom’s favorite advice is ‘just sleep on it.’ Well, considering I can sleep through anything, it’s not very useful.”

“Mom: ‘Always listen to your gut instinct.’ Me: ‘But my gut mostly tells me to eat cake, so…'”

“My mom’s shopping trip usually involves going for milk and coming back with half of a department store.”

“Mom: ‘Everything happens for a reason.’ Me: ‘Yes, and sometimes that reason is that I did something stupid.'”

“My mom has a secret talent for finding the TV remote in the most bizarre places. I suspect she hides it for the thrill.”

“Mom: ‘Eat your vegetables, they’ll make you stronger.’ Me: ‘And here I thought lifting weights at the gym was enough!'”