“I used to have functioning brain cells… then I became a mother.”

“I love being a mom, but some days I just want to sit on the couch and eat cake in peace.”

“Whoever said parenting is a walk in the park obviously didn’t have kids.”

“Being a mom means always having a snack hidden somewhere in your purse.”

“My house is clean and tidy… said no mother ever.”

“Mom: a title just above queen, but a job just below superhero.”

“You know you’re a mom when going to the grocery store by yourself feels like a vacation.”

“The quickest way to get your child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.”

“Motherhood: the hardest, yet most rewarding unpaid job you’ll ever have.”

“I used to be a cool mom… then my kids learned to talk.”

“Motherhood is basically just a bunch of conversations about poop.”

“I love my children equally… but I definitely like the quiet one more.”

“Parenthood: when going to the bathroom alone becomes a luxury.” RESPECT RELATIONSHIP QUOTES

“I never knew what tired was until I became a mom.”

“As a mother, I have mastered the art of pretending to have it all together.”

“Some days I feel like Mary Poppins, other days I feel like Cruella de Vil.”

“Motherhood is the ultimate crash course in multitasking.”

“Having children is like living in a frat house – nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.”

“I used to spend money on clothes; now I spend it on diapers and baby wipes.”

“My kids call me ‘mom’ because ‘ninja warrior princess’ isn’t a real job title.”

“My life is basically just a constant search for missing socks and sippy cup lids.”

“Motherhood is like trying to hold a beach ball underwater – it’s exhausting and sometimes it slips away.”

“There’s no better alarm clock than a toddler standing next to your bed at 5 am, breathing directly into your face.”

“I used to think I was busy before I had kids… I was so wrong.”

“Motherhood: the only job where you can be simultaneously exhausted and exhilarated.”