MOTIVATIONAL QUOTES SARCASTIC

“Keep dreaming big, because it’s not like anything will actually happen.”

“You can do anything you set your mind to… as long as it involves procrastinating and avoiding responsibilities.”

“Success is 1% inspiration and 99% avoiding meetings.”

“Believe in yourself, because no one else will.”

“Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.”

“If you think you’re worthless, just remember that you are somebody’s most annoying coworker.”

“Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy a yacht, which is pretty close.”

“Failure is the key to success, so keep failing until you become successful.”

“Don’t worry, if the plan doesn’t work, the blame will be shift to someone else.”

“The only exercise I do is jumping to conclusions.”

“Just keep smiling and pretending everything is fine. It’s not like anyone cares anyway.”

“Opportunity may knock once, but temptation will always knock twice.”

“Don’t worry about pleasing everyone, because it’s impossible. You’re not pizza.”

“When life gives you lemons, just add vodka.” BANGLE CEREMONY QUOTES FOR SISTER

“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take, but you also avoid the embarrassment of missing them.”

“The only exercise I get is running late.”

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal, it’s the excuses that make it embarrassing.”

“Don’t let anyone dull your sparkle, unless it’s sunscreen.”

“I’m not lazy, I’m just highly motivated to do nothing.”

“The early bird can have the worm, I’ll stick with the coffee.”

“Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m sarcastic, and I hate you too.”

“If sarcasm could burn calories, we’d all be supermodels.”

“It’s not that I don’t care, I just don’t care enough to do anything about it.”

“Some people say I’m sarcastic, but I’m just keeping the world on its toes.”

“I don’t need anger management, I just have a very low tolerance for stupidity.”

“Don’t worry about being successful, just show up and confuse people.”