NAME FUNNY QUOTES

“I’m not lazy. I’m on energy-saving mode.”

“I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.”

“I’m not crazy, my reality is just different from yours.”

“If there’s no Wi-Fi in heaven, I’m not going.”

“I’m not clumsy. It’s just the floor hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.”

“If at first, you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.”

“I follow three simple rules: Don’t lie. Don’t cheat. Don’t make promises you can’t keep, unless the person you’re making them to is pretty darn gullible.”

“When someone says ‘expect the unexpected’, I like to stare at them blankly and say, ‘So, start talking.'”

“My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.”

“I’m not afraid of death. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.”

“The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.”

“I’m not arguing, I’m simply explaining why I’m right.”

“I’m in shape. Round is a shape, right?”

“I’m not saying I’m Batman, but have you ever seen us in the same room together?” FAKE FRIENDS SHORT QUOTES

“I don’t need anger management. You just need to stop making me angry.”

“I’m not short, I’m concentrated awesome.”

“I might be a classic overthinker, but sometimes my mind surprises even me with outrageous conspiracy theories.”

“I’m not addicted to coffee, we’re just in a committed relationship.”

“I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are still upgrading.”

“I’m not lazy, I’m just on my energy-saving mode.”

“I’m not crazy, my reality is just different than yours. Well, maybe slightly more wacky.”

“I’m not clumsy, it’s just the floor hates me, tables and chairs follow me, and walls jump out trying to get me.”

“I’m not slow. I’m on turtle mode for maximum enjoyment.”

“I’m not a pessimist. I’m an optimist with experience.”

“I’m not ignoring you. I’m just prioritizing my selective hearing.”

“I’m not forgetful. I’m just blessed with a short-term memory upgrade.”

“I’m not disorganized. I’m just creatively spontaneous.”