NEW DRIVER QUOTES FUNNY

“I was unsure about my driving skills, so I put a bumper sticker on my car that says ‘I brake for hallucinations.'”

“I’m the type of driver who won’t stop singing along to the radio, even if someone is watching.”

“I am a nervous driver. I always have ‘Caution: New Driver’ written on my forehead in permanent marker.”

“My car is a constant reminder that I really need to improve my parking skills.”

“I’ve been driving for a few months now, and I still can’t get used to the fact that there’s no ‘undo’ button in real life.”

“My road rage consists of aggressively waving at my fellow drivers instead of flipping them off.”

“The GPS always tells me to turn left in 500 feet, but I panic and turn right just to assert my dominance over technology.”

“The only time I stop texting and driving is when I’m eating behind the wheel.”

“My car’s rearview mirror should come with a warning label saying, ‘Objects in mirror are more skilled drivers.'”

“I never truly understood the phrase ‘speeding like a bat out of hell’ until I accidentally ran over a swarm of bats in my first week of driving.”

“I’m convinced that traffic lights are just there to test my patience.”

“Sometimes I wish I could fit my driver’s seat with a ejector button for when my passengers annoy me.”

“I’m the type of person who slows down when passing a cop, even though I’m not doing anything illegal. I just feel guilty by association.”

“Parallel parking is my version of a real-life Tetris game, where my car is the block and the parking space is the ever-shrinking gap.”

“I finally mastered the art of driving with one hand while eating a burger with the other. It’s called ‘Car Gymnastics 10 ‘” APPRECIATION THANK YOU SISTER QUOTES

“My car’s gas gauge is like my personal fortune teller, constantly predicting when my wallet will be empty.”

“I’ve learned the hard way that the brake pedal is not a suggestion.”

“My car has a built-in coffee holder, but honestly, it should have a bumper sticker that says, ‘Warning: May cause coffee stains.'”

“I recently discovered that my car has a feature called ‘cruise control,’ but I’m not entirely convinced it’s not just an elaborate prank.”

“I’m a responsible driver. I always use my turn signal when changing lanes, even if there’s nobody around to witness my impressive signaling skills.”

“Driving with me is like riding a rollercoaster: unpredictable, and you might end up screaming.”

“I’ve come to terms with the fact that my car stereo is the only audience that will ever appreciate my singing skills.”

“I thought I had mastered the art of merging on the highway, but then I realized it was just a one-time miracle.”

“I may be a new driver, but I have a black belt in multi-tasking. Just ask the person I rear-ended while trying to eat a sandwich and change the radio station.”

“I’ve gotten so good at reading license plates that I feel like I could work for the FBI’s Witness Protection Program.”

“I’m convinced that parallel parking was invented by sadistic driving instructors who secretly enjoy watching people struggle.”

“I’m trying to set a new world record for car karaoke. So far, I’ve only impressed the squirrels in the park.”

“People always tell me that driving is easy, but clearly, they’ve never witnessed my three-point turns.”