NEW YEAR QUOTES FUNNY SAYINGS

“New Year’s resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.” – James Agate

“May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions.” – Joey Adams

“My New Year’s resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year’s resolutions.” – Anonymous

“New Year’s Day… now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.” – Mark Twain

“A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.” – Anonymous

“I can’t believe it’s been a year since I didn’t become a better person.” – Anonymous

“New Year’s resolution: Gym twice a week, for five minutes each.” – Anonymous

“My New Year’s resolution is to be more optimistic by keeping my cup half-full with rum, vodka, or whisky.” – Anonymous

“New Year’s resolution: To be more awesome than last year.” – Anonymous

“May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions.” – Anonymous

“Every New Year is the direct descendant, isn’t it, of a long line of proven criminals?” – Ogden Nash WITTY NEW YEARS QUOTES

“I’m going to order a pizza five minutes before the new year and when they arrive I will say, ‘I ordered this a year ago!’” – Anonymous

“New Year’s resolution? I will get back to my previous shape. My sofa has seen me evolving from a lumbar-supplement to a pillow in the past year.” – Anonymous

“May this New Year bring you more problems, more tears, and more pains. Don’t get me wrong. I just want you to be a stronger person!” – Anonymous

“My goal for 2023 is to accomplish the goals of 2022, which I should have done in 2021 because I made a promise in 2020, which I planned in 20” – Anonymous

“May all your troubles last as long as your New Year resolutions!” – Anonymous

“I hope this year ends up fulfilling your new aspiration of gluing yourself to fitness activities but not in front of a TV.” – Anonymous

“I want to gain weight this year. So, all my friends, please donate some pizzas and burgers to me on a daily basis.” – Anonymous

“Here’s hoping that this year, you don’t mix the dates up like last year when you celebrated 2022 on January 2nd!” – Anonymous

“This year, I will procrastinate less by delegating more work to others. I am ready to be the best boss ever!” – Anonymous

“My plan for the New Year is to hide from my problems until they go away. Yeah, I should be in hibernation mode pretty soon.” – Anonymous