NON MOTIVATIONAL QUOTES CALENDAR

“If there’s one thing I hate more than liars, it’s skim milk. Skim milk is water lying about being milk.” – Ron Swanson

“I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.” – Michael Scott

“Never go to bed angry. Stay awake and plot your revenge.” – Unknown

“I wouldn’t say I’m the best, but I’m definitely in the top one.” – John McEnroe

“I don’t need anger management, I need people to stop pissing me off.” – Unknown

“I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.” – Unknown

“Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, they’ll start using it.” – Unknown

“I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” – Douglas Adams

“I put my phone in airplane mode, but it’s not flying!” – Unknown

“I’m not clumsy, I’m just on a mission to test gravity.” – Unknown

“I have a lot of growing up to do, I realized that the other day inside my fort.” – Zach Galifianakis

“I’m not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them.” – Unknown

“I may be a genius, but I’m not a mind reader.” – Unknown

“I don’t exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor.” – Joan Rivers PRAYER QUOTES FOR HUSBAND

“I’m allergic to stupidity. I break out in sarcasm.” – Unknown

“I’m smiling. That alone should scare you.” – Unknown

“If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.” – Unknown

“If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?” – Scott Adams

“Some people just need a high-five. In the face. With a chair.” – Unknown

“My house is not a mess, it’s just under construction.” – Unknown

“Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m schizophrenic, and so am I.” – Unknown

“I tried being normal once. Worst two minutes of my life.” – Unknown

“I’m sorry, did I roll my eyes out loud?” – Unknown

“I’m not crazy, my reality is just different than yours.” – Unknown

“I don’t have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.” – Unknown

“If idiots could fly, this place would be an airport.” – Unknown

“I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode.” – Unknown