NOTEBOOK FUNNY QUOTES

“I am not lazy, I am on energy-saving mode.”

“I’m not lazy, I’m just on my energy saving mode.”

“I followed my heart and it led me to the fridge.”

“I was told I should embrace my flaws, so I ate a whole pizza.”

“You can’t make everyone happy, you’re not pizza.”

“Lazy people fact #234825730: You were too lazy to read that number.”

“I don’t need anger management, I need people to stop pissing me off.”

“I’m not a person you should put on speakerphone. Trust me.”

“The best exercise I get is pushing my luck.”

“I’m not weird. I’m limited edition.”

“I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.”

“I’m not arguing, I’m simply explaining why I’m right.”

“I’m not a breakfast person. I’m more of a “skip breakfast and wait for lunch” person.”

“My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. I call it lunch.” LOST IN PARADISE QUOTES

“If procrastination was an Olympic sport, I’d compete in it later.”

“I would lose weight, but I hate losing.”

“I put the “me” in “meat”. You’re welcome, barbecue.”

“I’m not clumsy. The floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.”

“I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.”

“I woke up like this. Disheveled and somewhat confused.”

“Trust me, I’m Irish. I know a thing or two about luck.”

“Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.”

“I’m not fat, I’m just easier to see.”

“I wish my wallet came with free refills.”

“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.”

“I don’t have an attitude problem, I just have a personality you can’t handle.”

“I’m not saying I’m Batman, I’m just saying no one has ever seen me and Batman in the same room together.”