![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWktqczVMVGlqblJJMXh0TlEvdDgwdVJpdmYrckdkTzZsem54MTRRWDJKcVhOZEQ1dVRtdkpyaDhldjVFam5QTXV0amVTNEFpQWh5dVdDaGF0R1d6ZXhDVkxpY2pZRkZqS3dBdGdMdDFGby9pRW1mamJzTXowWHh4U3RCeWFuK3Z3PT0%3D/ONE+LINER+WITTY+QUOTES/(aef02451b1dba755751db5e826a21614).jpg)
“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.” – Jim Carrey
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZUZicng1S2VhOWh5QkpBR0pWcGVLUU1EYmNjR0dEMHlKL3FLTmU5RGNKRVV3SHV5K1B1Z0djdzdOd3Bmb0pWVVpwSk4rQUdKYU5nWnJDNlB3cUgzcHRuVzNvMVVMYUpmb20vSE81NlYvbTJBPT0%3D/ONE+LINER+WITTY+QUOTES/(b37bd9afc60d1faa3346c09268ca3243).jpg)
“I’m not a player, I just crush a lot.” – The Notorious B.I.G.
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZkJYSmgzZVh3S21nU25NN2VZWEZDaXJWZTlEUzJHejBIbzhSODZQQVVVMjRPRW5GNG4yUTVKU1hiRXVFYVJXSFRvdklGWTZjQy9JZkFHakJlSXpPWHFmM1k0WURMeExOUjlqWmFkdHZwM01CcUo3ME92bHA3cGw5ZHNMQ1doNkVFb1ltRWdmSlNDMG12MWd2NE83NGpvPQ%3D%3D/ONE+LINER+WITTY+QUOTES/(7671f8bd092b71afa5234b4fae0276da).jpg)
“The only thing standing between me and total happiness is reality.” – Douglas Coupland
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUUl6YmJBNU8xem5vY29vbHRMOFRTWTZWS0ZvOFh2M3dDYm9rNnBic2hrTUZPMG1kZmZNUGliM01Ed08wNDRwTGs3QzlhZ0FocnkwSkp4bEl1MkhhSHBwZlplUFJGUGUzTWQ4SDFNMzNRVzZqZ3lLTUJjc2pjMjJTNkJNcXZIZWtRPT0%3D/ONE+LINER+WITTY+QUOTES/(a283008de0b9b1a3484b3f097ff2d1a1).jpg)
“When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.” – Cathy Guisewite
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVEl4U1ZwT3lsT1RmZmoyMzFtcGNZWFlTU2dhNEJRdHk1TVV2REhyOGRpdHM0anJERG4rYjFqVC96T1JWTTJrQTVHTGNVc2FYd205dUpzYy82Q2dWb2ZhenQ3TGRJSXFPVDRDRFY1NldWUXNGczZZMmdxdzhQRjdpRTl3bkdUeks1QkdUcGZQamlyV2oxdnliM1pYcVM0PQ%3D%3D/ONE+LINER+WITTY+QUOTES/(f74af841ebabfe430bc9138b93e9fa5c).jpg)
“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” – Charles Lamb
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWGFvMjVkVTgxZmNQYWdudjBHNm4zeW5hMzEya3Q5V1NldFFFRVNTT3dYL3ZzRnpLRDJCT3BqM3ZURlpEMURtaThiK1BIbjA3VlNEeUtmbkxSbEN0NndVL2FFb0VKUVdycmR6SndMMUcyU1hURzYrdTl1TndRQmF2aUFZTkFKLyt1bVhCQzdHMERROWN2OEdjNjdPQ1E1eDRnK1FrWjJMSE1JWlRCVENMMjNZ/ONE+LINER+WITTY+QUOTES/(df1f6c725f84f476e44f51968ae7ef79).jpg)
“The early bird can have the worm because worms are gross and mornings are stupid.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYUhvVzlsUm5CdnN3Q2xrc042WXh6WmZuSkFENVEwbFZqZnBNK3NlTHJnTEYxQ2pabFYvU3h2ZnhBN3RRaUFEVlRIemVaWnJLZ3Q2OEJWeVZ1WVpBSmt6OFZMTytoc3VRNitVUXVWa1dLTEY%3D/ONE+LINER+WITTY+QUOTES/(47f152886415fa4434d43f480f110b03).jpg)
“I would lose weight, but I hate losing.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrV0lQRGhmbnkvNkNkNXFXUGRjb2FocDQvNkRLSzBmTW1haTBHSWpLN25Pc3hpbm9oYjMvaEQ5ek45TXUxNHF3OGZkNStkOG9QR3gxb0JMaGlvRHROKzVxTFc5ZUlDSWpsenVXTUpoMFpMY0ZobDk0bmY1Z054SmRVcmpnQWd0N3YrbHlGOFV3L3JUbHlpVkYyWUt1dGNvPQ%3D%3D/ONE+LINER+WITTY+QUOTES/(4afe0a17c24585c128d79259f1c583b6).jpg)
“Marriage is like a workshop. The husband works and the wife shops.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrU2ZRMVllYURGZ0x4bE1QdnpjanNNTUQvMnF2WjErOHlWN0xyQTRjNDA0dEw1cnVUa2pQUzI3aDhMN2xNeEQ2RGE3Z0QrNmhEQmhFeElxaXpwcWptbGwzdFVrTXlvVHF1TjczT0dPbzlRSFpBK1BjMkhQM2xkRkhHaldvWktBMVE0Zkw4cUhIOEhlTDE4dFhNN2paUmJxOFJhN3lzUXUvRDM1U3NPeFV6RlloYUhqS21ybC80dlBiZjN3SzdXbW1wdz09/ONE+LINER+WITTY+QUOTES/(c847bce3de0fee97f35df4370c8dc508).jpg)
“I find that a duck’s opinion of me is very much influenced by whether or not I have bread.” – Mitch Hedberg
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYlgwMHBRbTdTeElSRlRZWGhyNHpxTXNzYzVwR2ZYbVMrUm9XdVF1alhaSEw5MEVjelhMa0Zzb3JPM05TYWVSS3Z4bTZHeU9GNHlJUWpjRjgzdGNKN1Znek9iMnlXSkdiV1B0SldzbGYrbE4%3D/ONE+LINER+WITTY+QUOTES/(0d2a53284bc21c2e519c871731e8d53d).jpg)
“I intend to live forever. So far, so good.” – Steven Wright
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUkVBOExIaHdySHM2eVFNWjBCQTBteUpQMFZzZlh0UmtyVzZxSFBVZzhOMU9kaWd2QmpUQUlwWERGK1ZRV1BzOWYwSjVXNm9QcWlHOFV4Lzl5RUd3RHB3UWp0L2lwYnpTL21ObjNMek9LTlAvTDJhdkRsY2Z0c2FSMFViSmZGZnBnPT0%3D/ONE+LINER+WITTY+QUOTES/(193842f4c2c9cdd90745b7513b7ad0d7).jpg)
“I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRYzliUkJFQTJVVSttd09PMDErMlVqUVphbkhXR2tacU5RRmxoOUxKeGQ4SkcyZ1l0Z0J0anJCUURZdzRybm9NeEhKMjlleVF6MjhhV1NkSTRldFd4WnJ5OVZ4bTBBYzZldythR2cvTXI5Z1pBPT0%3D/ONE+LINER+WITTY+QUOTES/(7f13ace7ac4de35313a54f73302e73d7).jpg)
“I’m not lazy. I’m just on energy-saving mode.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrY1ErNldUQm00dE94Q25FcytNc2UvRUpFUHBmdDhqQ3Fac3ZqUTBXZFpFOW40dmtoT2FhajAvdVZ4eG9YN2x0dmRubGRTaThzejkxeTJmTHcrNklDWTU5dXlLYXZ1REJ2Tmc4V241Ym11NmtzNWtTNnN5dWttUTRNNUFGR2M5OGt3PT0%3D/ONE+LINER+WITTY+QUOTES/(828d6bd51621bb303fe9361b60db3e36).jpg)
“Don’t be like the rest of them, darling.” – Coco Chanel
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVEVIdWlYUTA0TnBUQ0lXaC92SEpjWFlVOEdHRjYxYy9nd2E1MWo5eHlQTzNzd2swckwwL0V0ak4vcEliS0VTL2pBN2hWL05VejN3RFVaL2NrNitHR25PUktUcCtkQmpROXY3ZXkrUzZkcnY0YzloOWQxUXp6NVltTzNKVjFxYWlvaVFWU3lNMUE4dWpqZkVzei82bHhSTG1PdXhzRUVPZUZpQTU0NFhKSUhi/ONE+LINER+WITTY+QUOTES/(7b0fc8c64673587b7241ab848df216e1).jpg)
“I was born to make mistakes, not to fake perfection.” – Drake INSPIRING MICHAEL JORDAN QUOTES
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZHlIR3BoYk1QRzNNK2VmVDNVZTRYZkxzcUF2Z2ZqZ1k5WDJ4M3VpQzFFd1lqMVkvSVRIaCs2bkVyTXR2UTg2VThmMzZad09wRmUyQ0owWlovNDhkQzYxQlg0c3p4eHlqbTRVMWN0Sk8zMDZvNTVpT3RKN2gyTFA0S3F0cGFJTmVWS1M3Wkx5NkJhWjZkSHNURUk2cVRX/ONE+LINER+WITTY+QUOTES/(70f893c69a7bf16e6beb11d9ecccb4b3).jpg)
“I’m not afraid of death; I just don’t want to be there when it happens.” – Woody Allen
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVXpVTVpLcjdncC9sV1VQbXVCKy9OVzdDenYzMkVWWXF4dU5QMGdvVmVwNFJxd2RwVTBOZFptZnllcXVmWm9vaTlEMEowMHA2cERib1lIMjhkV0hMRmlNQ2R6NTJaNzdZcS91RTdJR1RudDRVYW1wUDVIQWo3cVZEMmhZSW83RmN3PT0%3D/ONE+LINER+WITTY+QUOTES/(04d3a0fee9b0e5c739699cd91b21e620).jpg)
“If you can’t convince them, confuse them.” – Harry S. Truman
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVkNwVWozblg4SElBZ0w2bzNUN3o2dmNXbm9mT1BmaXhQdmc4czZYZ3B2V1Fjd3RwTWZZWEJDbUdlYm1YZ0plN3ZwWGwyb1N6WWRKdEpORkdrazgvaEdNWXp4RGVFVlpvL0tzaEhtMWtiRzFmRG1MNjM5U2U2cmkrcXFIbVViSlVMSm10RWRsRjNNYmhVOHFEOFozcGJvPQ%3D%3D/ONE+LINER+WITTY+QUOTES/(2496dc00b5836f636a66f31c7fed4f05).jpg)
“If at first, you don’t succeed, then skydiving isn’t for you.” – Steven Wright
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWUxYcnQveC9ic3RZZ2VOdEIzbWdFTENraEZDVUtaL0dod0h6NnVucG4yeWFHTWJiVEdXMEx6Nld0bkN5RzNOUHVsbVhlNVJrS0tySFlmMCtaT0huWTdhQnhweEdsK2xTSFJaOXArM29FUkozT2V3Vmg0QWxhTzRMMUJ2UTYyYWFkTWVvS045aXloZjZOaHFVWHZyVDNLU2E3b2txVkJyWXlMdWdXSjM0RlRx/ONE+LINER+WITTY+QUOTES/(4a11836ae721ea5eb559ba421960ecf8).jpg)
“I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.” – Groucho Marx
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZVVha0ZRc0M1WmFyZXZiVFJaa3EvUER6QnFFaUJIdEwvMSswdXRYUVhpNFpMM2pPeEJ4OWwyY0dnaG5zQWkwMkFDZWhLZ2lkUW1YMG1sWUtyZGRkVXlzZWxFNjM1Tzdka1Jycko3SG5CUGU1TmpOenJEczY0WnJnQmdUWWc1dDlvQTdOb0xMd2pFOUFWNUQwMlVWOVVvR3ovd1ZkVDZDakt0OFpseFhQOHRZ/ONE+LINER+WITTY+QUOTES/(5cdb417cbc28fb4b76653d8b5c2205b9).jpg)
“If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.” – Earl Wilson
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVXFWSXJPdTBwMzYvd09qbEs3S08yekpGaTF5YXB6NFBYand2U3hCODBlRzNaaWNlTWdpNStsK3lkSFFxdjluZTJkUGJhUjRkZnREVFVoSWFwdzB2MnNQNENPRWRrTzU1Mk5MSjFBTVAySytQUWRoT1NzWWptRWl1QXhvTUFURDFyZDB2enFOUzNHaXA0UFRDWC9kTytjPQ%3D%3D/ONE+LINER+WITTY+QUOTES/(c0c1b18e08917f1e391d5f3510ba61f9).jpg)
“You’re only young once, but you can be immature forever.” – Germaine Greer
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYzBkSVA2d3loWHB5NHUxS3pTT056NTNxK0RrckQxeStuall5QW1WVDBzUmtXNW56Y1pZQ3UwT1VLT3VPL2d1ektTdkwyd3JSamIzVDNQTnZ5eTdnazlwa084V1JPbThSeXZXKzB3REJiZmNUeDFyY3dBRlVMcHlTYTFkUTdEbGxnPT0%3D/ONE+LINER+WITTY+QUOTES/(8897083a764f635a0050dbe93f202788).jpg)
“Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.” – Ellen DeGeneres
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZVVha0ZRc0M1WmFyZXZiVFJaa3EvUER6QnFFaUJIdEwvMSswdXRYUVhpNExuemJxSGFrU1kwdlB6VGNLdmo1M29jTmh5VnFDKzRpd2pIczJEWWdvcDlBZ2FUdHZqMWhTaURWSzU4bDIzUVYwcTJOKzVLbXpFZE9VZklUMmR5Y0RGQytmUlZTN1NXRy9XdDJpaDNCMHdVPQ%3D%3D/ONE+LINER+WITTY+QUOTES/(c0a6f36d06c36dc0409555056db17773).jpg)
“If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.” – Earl Wilson
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYkZMUEZ6OFBBUmd1RlBkQTFCRVpmaUMwWjk2MU1OT1grMjI5SzU3NGNVL1M2bW4yRjUxTTlaV3Y0YytZSWEyV2FjYlZDNHBXNlVLVEhJamtqeU92aitBQVVRSHRlZS94ZTBkM2hSZEg2Z1lueTQ0VU1xMXhtWFlKQytYMThzNVhRPT0%3D/ONE+LINER+WITTY+QUOTES/(69aa04a64d2eeef86880664866d1f8d0).jpg)
“Cheese is just a slice of milk that smells funny.” – Unknown
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVXN0cHFIUk1KWCtGVk5oa2VxNG9vb0llV25ydjV0QzRDRjJvc0ZkaS82Mkk2QWZuSEc0VGpjSnhwOTR0ZENKV1BpSGdVb1NzV3AyVHIvK0NHOHdHREMvdlRuVDZKSVFBaG5NOEFmMkc4QjBwUHdxVWlnZFBFRHZ4RXVvZDN4eW5BPT0%3D/ONE+LINER+WITTY+QUOTES/(de7b4e3af40ad54360e3c29fc3d9b03a).jpg)
“The best way to predict your future is to create it.” – Peter Drucker
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZGRqUDBrSEtEVmdKRVhZTXgvSUM3cGdoVmZwSEZLS0NvVWdpRi9rd3FoSUtyMDBpS0pLUzNMMENmankwUXExYUR5VFRwNGFrdGJ6ZlNHblJqNUxZdnU4bExrRUQ5YlhrSGZGR2lCdmtydE5DNjlEYUZERFRiM3VoTlloMWFwVVF0VXhPMDhyVXVxazFHNytLRldWOUY0QzFRU1pPcFV6QmpGcjlrMHNYeHM1/ONE+LINER+WITTY+QUOTES/(3957a822917b8e8eac0cde6688a55b7c).jpg)
“Opportunity does not knock, it presents itself when you beat down the door.” – Kyle Chandler
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRWbmNJamdWWk5kdE1wNTlpMjRWVFd3T0ZqaXNvVEgwMjV0dGJYVzhqbWNSZ3J2YzlwdmprWFBNRHI0QXIwUEY0N3plQXEzTEZaT1l2ZzYzTmRaTmx0NlQyakZidHRncURaK2JidiszcFBOUnNyaDIyQUhsaE8rQnBoMGczMkxJN0ZJZXhPNVdhM0ZsbGxkUnJlMVJwME9lYzNNUUdWQ3NEdlNPVXN1Qnlm/ONE+LINER+WITTY+QUOTES/(9feca6a2ceee919b4497590cebea9a2f).jpg)
“Life is like a sewer – what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.” – Tom Lehrer
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrY0FlWjlFeUtrNG90TXJHeE9xaCtTcklNcU96K3pzai8vaGpsbmUvdk5lVzZadS9EVXN1Q1ZlYW9RK3UrUW4xaDNicWVCdnU5dTBEbW04VkhDUGF3VXJ1aFYyR2ZPTm9iMzdadkMrZzUrdzA4QVFBS2xOVUFQd2FXNWxtcW1LQW1jZ1dpZ1hKdG9Qa1lwNjBFUkQ0RlhVPQ%3D%3D/ONE+LINER+WITTY+QUOTES/(9e334544033277555cfff42e44929535).jpg)
“Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it’s a brighter day.” – Unknown