POINTLESS QUOTES FUNNY

“I’m not lazy, I’m just on my energy-saving mode.”

“I tried being normal once, worst two minutes of my life.”

“I don’t need anger management, I just need people to stop pissing me off.”

“Sorry, I can’t hear you over the volume of my awesomeness.”

“I may be a genius, but even geniuses have their off days.”

“I’m not saying I’m Batman, but have you ever seen us together in the same room?”

“I don’t hold grudges, I simply remember facts.”

“I only use my superpowers for good, unless there’s a sale.”

“No, I’m not paranoid. But why are you asking?”

“I don’t sweat the small stuff, I just turn up the air conditioning.”

“Exercise? I thought you said extra fries!”

“One day, I’ll take a nap, and it’ll be amazing.”

“My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.”

“I’m not lazy, I’m just on standby mode until motivation comes online.”

“I’m not clumsy, the floor just hates me, and the tables and chairs are bullies.”

“My superpower is making people laugh until they snort.” QUOTES ABOUT BEING BLINDED BY LOVE

“I’m not short, I’m just ‘fun-sized’.”

“I’ve run out of sick days, so I’m calling in ‘dead’ today.”

“I love it when I catch someone staring at me. I mean, I admire my own reflection all the time.”

“I don’t procrastinate. I just wait until the last minute because I’ll be older, and therefore wiser.”

“Sure, I’ll attend your pity party. Can I bring my sarcasm and bad manners?”

“I’m not stubborn, my way is just better.”

“I don’t need a hairstylist, I just need gravity to stop messing with my hair.”

“Sorry, I can’t go to the gym today. I’m allergic to exercise.”

“I speak fluent sarcasm, it’s my second language.”

“I don’t diet, I just eat healthy until I’m comfortable in my jeans.”

“I may be crazy, but crazy is a lot more fun than boring.”

“I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.”

“Who needs a social life when you have WiFi?”

“Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.”