POSITIVE FUNNY QUOTE OF THE DAY

“I always thought I was indecisive, but now I’m not too sure.” – Anonymous

“I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.” – Anonymous

“I hate Russian dolls, they’re so full of themselves.” – Tim Vine

“The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.” – H. V. Prochnow

“I don’t need a hairstylist. My pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.” – Anonymous

“I asked the librarian if I could check out a book on paranoia. She whispered, ‘They’re right behind you.'” – Anonymous

“The road to success is always under construction.” – Lily Tomlin

“I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.” – Anonymous

“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.” – Steve Martin

“I’m on that new diet where you eat everything and hope for a miracle.” – Anonymous

“I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!” – Anonymous

“The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.” – Anonymous YOU CAN JUDGE ME ALL YOU WANT QUOTES

“My bed wasn’t feeling well this morning, so I stayed home to take care of it.” – Anonymous

“Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!” – Anonymous

“I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She hugged me.” – Anonymous

“I think I want a job cleaning mirrors. It’s just something I could really see myself doing.” – Anonymous

“I’m not clumsy. It’s just that the floor hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.” – Anonymous

“Failure is not an option — it comes bundled with the software.” – Anonymous

“I used to think I’m indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.” – Anonymous

“Don’t worry about what people think. They don’t do it often.” – Anonymous

“My bank account is like my phone battery, it never lasts long enough.” – Anonymous

“Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!” – Anonymous

“I finally realized that people are prisoners of their phones… That’s why it’s called a ‘cell’ phone.” – Anonymous