![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUW1nY3BXOHdzR29kMFZzcnFOUDRqUCtuMENkazVldEJuMTU1blZtSVA5aWk1eXNNcFIycnRzbEo2U1hlY3dqeXVkMVZDbmkyeitoSFFVeGFobGIxcksyN2xWM1kxYUxGYlY4alhYUmJzN0QxNTJhNDhrZmF0eFVDak1sZStPU2dKekNTSDRPY01BbHA2ZE1MY1pucWtJPQ%3D%3D/POSITIVE+FUNNY+QUOTE+OF+THE+DAY/(3306c42c4edd6882a1c53ade40253dee).jpg)
“I always thought I was indecisive, but now I’m not too sure.” – Anonymous
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVVJkc0FkQlV3cEpxK2lSbjgyeXZFelVwUmVpcHFqdFQ0VkhpbGlvWkdlRk83RENramRNMGNXV3ZxU1oxRko5OUtsOXc3THF5Q0E3aWRDNTFnQ0F0NEQzSGNoRDhsL3hUUTJqUUU1MU1GSDRrN0ZaZ0djS1d1Z3RFb2szWkpBWVR5b1RWamVtSFl5dGhZa015VVNyWUlzPQ%3D%3D/POSITIVE+FUNNY+QUOTE+OF+THE+DAY/(bdbdbebd7831035e9cfdb0f4d640c5a6).jpg)
“I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.” – Anonymous
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZkpidit0UmdVS0VSalh1V0pFb1pBU2QrYUFKak95TmRtdnR1R2ZRbWVWRmJNV2hlYmhJU294LzQ2d3JJWnlueWxGTkZTMFVWWjNSRU02TlpTclNhNXNuKzJJdzBkeFVNNXowS2VJb0VhR25Qa1M3V2w0ZTI4NUpsSWtQVk5BaTVnPT0%3D/POSITIVE+FUNNY+QUOTE+OF+THE+DAY/(441a850472c2ff40607919812d23847b).jpg)
“I hate Russian dolls, they’re so full of themselves.” – Tim Vine
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVXN0cHFIUk1KWCtGVk5oa2VxNG9vcUxKVTdLeDdEc2xGYzNNbTFTc0YvWDNDV09pek5MeHpESkpyQmF4OUUvWDVxMXpwS0FLd3o4SHFQS0g2ejNmcGVGU2IrMWdVU2RTeFY5TXYvTXphUnBsYXZoT2puMlFxaTNoWE5pV1Noc015OHVnUmtieWVxczM4Rlo5bGJBU0ZBPQ%3D%3D/POSITIVE+FUNNY+QUOTE+OF+THE+DAY/(8d2adf1ba844d717d3959063ba5468b4).jpg)
“The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.” – H. V. Prochnow
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVDlvSTR1ZG41ZzFuMVpGVStXN3R2Z3dubVFSa3pQYWtqV2h5RFh6WlpGZjFzKzE2cFdDOWdpQmZVdHYyQ0Q4RE9FYm9palk2c2N4ek54VmFYM1dxd24zM0VTTlgwZkc2Q1JKZzltWGNNci9mcWxwbmpnajdIV1VQY2RDLzFKMTE0MUgzTEtrbE5MYUlyRTFxaS94NUxHRmI5bVljU3R6VG9heDJVZVlYc1lx/POSITIVE+FUNNY+QUOTE+OF+THE+DAY/(62a013304dbb8b951fcb6bfab3e574ff).jpg)
“I don’t need a hairstylist. My pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.” – Anonymous
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrV3dXc0gxMG1lcDNaNG5SeVdETlVEVlhqSmxFdjN1Uldpd0NUNW9ETVFQY2JvWGtzWDZsWVpnV3krQWRNTXlpbFk1S29WMkp0OFZxalpRTnBrS0tiUlMzaXlseWZNSVlrYmdlYVVPZUEzdEpSVVNHLzR0SHJPcDF6ME1QOWNXdU4xRjJTN2FYRndBVHJtRVFoMzZWNG1oZ1J5YVdZM2FJUTB3NkE0OWluSDd5dmFKVTkyNTlzWmQwODIvb01PR0ZLOGNqMDRQajFRd3lwTDc0S3Y1M2RxQT0%3D/POSITIVE+FUNNY+QUOTE+OF+THE+DAY/(2f64a4b5b4dbca652ba26b8f7c7eef16).jpg)
“I asked the librarian if I could check out a book on paranoia. She whispered, ‘They’re right behind you.'” – Anonymous
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVWhJSzVOOVA2dnJ5SE5HT0xiYXVNZjdQT0hja1VMdVN0SC9kVHRsM1o5T21FeUVmSjdnZ1cySllHQXZ5UmYxTFEvT0swVkFLK1NHN1J1azlGWXU1V2g2YlhhMzd1L0pkVTdvdk8yYWlRUjh3Z29VNzBDYmJGeXI2WmMxbzRMN3NnPT0%3D/POSITIVE+FUNNY+QUOTE+OF+THE+DAY/(be6faf7f2b2bf3565540a322be1e2358).jpg)
“The road to success is always under construction.” – Lily Tomlin
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUkVBOExIaHdySHM2eVFNWjBCQTBteE5ScjNva3dTWVE4ZHVXVWorN3RTQ3ZuUVl2ZUdyTTZaWmRKeUdyT1ExN0FLazBIUThQNEk0QkVLdDR1ZVJ4MlBxcWRWdDQwQlZCajNWdUg1cHNNdFZLd0syNDE5eHZNUjJNVHNwdGtWSTh3PT0%3D/POSITIVE+FUNNY+QUOTE+OF+THE+DAY/(f7f24fd4bd45ecedc3765b735f1fc866).jpg)
“I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.” – Anonymous
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWFdBOU5aVWNjZFQzUUF2c1hKc0sxa0dwcFJqdXl4ZHpJbVh0RUNNL255OWpoa2JhSUxXcHRwcUhxZG1EUGVMUGxlS3ZCZURVL05sN0VLSEZQdnAra3dsbFlad3laWFFHU2wvQmo3RzM0T0U4dngxeDNrWjZrYTZJQWZnbWVkcWdnPT0%3D/POSITIVE+FUNNY+QUOTE+OF+THE+DAY/(bdde8a6c68d35d25591c74601d62f63a).jpg)
“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.” – Steve Martin
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZVNZcHlyM2pCdDZYbTF1eVU1UEtoSGk3OXp0OUNmKzQ2RHE1c1NabmdkNnhVSEZqeEtLa0w5T3QvUzZRbEJtNytnazBLaGJ6YXp3cDdNS1UzZjFJTm43V0NEQWQ2eW9rQWdEWUtTZ3gwMU5EWFh2Y0xEWVRJWUoxVHJZd201QWdZPQ%3D%3D/POSITIVE+FUNNY+QUOTE+OF+THE+DAY/(c00cad52ae477c2fad388123650a34a2).jpg)
“I’m on that new diet where you eat everything and hope for a miracle.” – Anonymous
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYW5xSzdKWHFKTmZncVZZTWNwY29NVGQwcStNbXViNW1ZZ091NFZvT0FkMWlzUGZydGV5OU00ZHhiYW1pUWtRb0VFQVkxMjVJWElPdy90NGFaTHd5aHdPT01jTEpzRmlPSnRSZSt4UEROR2tiNnBRRFRHOHRxcXZXeXVub1pSRnM1UjMweE5mWjVUdS9OWk1FTmMrbVpJN2kxSWY1ZzJyY3QvZ2c4YUdUYjhQUDl6QStwYjF1U3VaL1l0NllybzBjV0tJVExxTVF5YTJpTGlkbitqZEtnVT0%3D/POSITIVE+FUNNY+QUOTE+OF+THE+DAY/(e8204c11111e6c8b6111f29d5820e13c).jpg)
“I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRTblU1OUpvbUpoSTFnUEo5NEgrNlMzazlCWFJnanhRajlKK3FyTkNjdndZaExyWnVoSHRSNkZxMmNsRmlEeWNUU2Y0aTFYdW81Nk1reUVxYUpqSkxaTUltcDFmbTVLOFNCSWN5U3hPSUM3Wm5OcXFmemNYdWV6amEyV2IwUkZQQjcwODhucGlGenJiZmM3WXVmbHNBPQ%3D%3D/POSITIVE+FUNNY+QUOTE+OF+THE+DAY/(59cd9c4a2be8840eb0d8d8f555710137).jpg)
“Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!” – Anonymous
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWGFvMjVkVTgxZmNQYWdudjBHNm4zelFBcGdHRFlHOTJSVlFDZWtvQVdac04rd3RFU3gzRGNBTGpBMExpQnVGaXZsY3d1TWxER0ZrTlVTU1BKQ01VSmJpcGtEL0hhdzNEOElGWkg4eUlJZjhWc0dldDBncDYxbDh6bVVxaERwTHBmOENtRFNScjEwM0FjbktrNWxiYjZ6bjZmT3ZUMmNTVlJFNFUxenhBblFobEZMNnFreE5vbDlualJmaGZDRDVxUT09/POSITIVE+FUNNY+QUOTE+OF+THE+DAY/(d8e3092818a2841c11d18b5efc55da60).jpg)
“The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.” – Anonymous YOU CAN JUDGE ME ALL YOU WANT QUOTES
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrU3I2K2EweVhiamhOK0Y5eFd2Z2RGWFhGV0NXNzhuUENmQi9sZE01dTFwTmJIb3Z5dlQzR2RkZmpTSytpTW1PMlZUcHhjdmk5a1dROVVhdUJueGRNdEFTNmsvVlVySWV1Lzh6ZlRGcldFN3grZHdzUnluNktDWDdDZkpLSW04OHBaa0JQMVJMcTArNDMzbTFNV2lQeUZNNmMvRTlGRlZ2WVJ2d1FwaHVuZjRh/POSITIVE+FUNNY+QUOTE+OF+THE+DAY/(df7074911798c66c9f96e2c219d8569b).jpg)
“My bed wasn’t feeling well this morning, so I stayed home to take care of it.” – Anonymous
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUWx2bjk0TytUTGd1VkVuY0N6QnAvemR4STlHd1ROWFhHb1ExNmlDcDdnNnRSTTN6WlVRYy9iUjQ0SEdqMzBLMmxIN21LNFE0T2kvVmZmeFJWWUxPWTNKejlUTVJqVFROQmlTUk5OWkgyTnREZjFrYzFKemgrQnM3Z3U4alFFcVFyUExLZldwSU5EQXlueGY0TWhwZG44PQ%3D%3D/POSITIVE+FUNNY+QUOTE+OF+THE+DAY/(56057dd3d3e912049e66f4e8fb0f8f20).jpg)
“Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!” – Anonymous
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVVJkc0FkQlV3cEpxK2lSbjgyeXZFelVwUmVpcHFqdFQ0VkhpbGlvWkdlRk83RENramRNMGNXV3ZxU1oxRko5OUNRZDhNT2tQNVdHZ0h2Umk3eUt2TUJFOHREamY1RTJGdHF6dkVkeFUzSnFQa0RvYTI0dHN2bGdwZ1hsOXRObU53PT0%3D/POSITIVE+FUNNY+QUOTE+OF+THE+DAY/(48e52cf3aac9e82f2706d3e6ab6db09b).jpg)
“I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She hugged me.” – Anonymous
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWjU2bHBkVkdYZ3RwNGhUTitWOEp4UmFId2Q5QmlRMTBzSTJ0VXE5ZGFta3pjOEJ4dWZRN0lzL0hja0RvU2JGeG9HZ2hPK2ZHMDA3eGFYK2NYUnMyY0xuZ042Y1dhVUdsV0VkdkVmTldPRDFsUUVhUWd4N2RScFZOamRNbzRhSlBETkV4ZkNWVEFOTXg5cyt3QmY0SUNWQWkrS3JsQit6ZzB5MElLaFowTVJvZFNoRk1USmxGT2ZVRTNuYVk2RzFtdz09/POSITIVE+FUNNY+QUOTE+OF+THE+DAY/(f268a1c85883def36a3f20f0081dc13d).jpg)
“I think I want a job cleaning mirrors. It’s just something I could really see myself doing.” – Anonymous
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRY0p5cU1nc215NDc1M0h1aWYvOE50azdpK0dKU3VYbkx6bDZwZE5lc2hqVzVaWXVVcU9STi9CNi9ybUpXMlNZWFhTV0luZnZNbU1TbFZwVnNhMWZ1OHo4Tk9hNSt1Wm94QWRtU0dwM0NhY3RodUdNMEQyUVZrcFdRdzRQMm5wYkdYQkUveStyK3V1S2FQVU1JRU10ZnRlZTdIVmFSaWJ1QlVXQkxjeU5lRzRwM0szdUdtTEFDVFZEU2syWXA4cUo3MD0%3D/POSITIVE+FUNNY+QUOTE+OF+THE+DAY/(358aa67d314b646f54468db887b24069).jpg)
“I’m not clumsy. It’s just that the floor hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.” – Anonymous
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZjBFeVUrZXJkUjZ0TE5Ta2pKam94M05TRVpmVE9XcmJmbmxlUU9XdURYRW1QVm5VK2dQbWU1NlFTMjFwekUxYmJ5SUJUdGt4bXRmTWJVZ0hFdFNLdVR2L1Y5YjJIUSt2TkNjSGwvdm9XSzExMjgvbjhzeEVTc1lzbm4xdXFXK0FTTXRVdEwvNU45VUtSc2JjQnlqbFljPQ%3D%3D/POSITIVE+FUNNY+QUOTE+OF+THE+DAY/(47d040f2c709cdbfc5530c8c90267925).jpg)
“Failure is not an option — it comes bundled with the software.” – Anonymous
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUkVBOExIaHdySHM2eVFNWjBCQTBteExEdDdNM04rYjVrbU9MdnN0TkNKMFlHMFMxSnh5U1BzeFR2TVRaemJMTlliVm1hSEdqdlZVTjJ5dGZnMnJvaktIWklKYk5PNjh1dWh2UzQzZzVsTUlpSFN2NmI2QU5aUW8yc1lNdkgyQUlmb1VzY0o5aWMyK0ptcnAyMEFkQlVvPQ%3D%3D/POSITIVE+FUNNY+QUOTE+OF+THE+DAY/(235f8e2c4883ed83e190890ea938efa9).jpg)
“I used to think I’m indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.” – Anonymous
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrY1ErNldUQm00dE94Q25FcytNc2UvRkgyamRzdHdRWlVZTlJvT2xmUGNDdUxkdFBEOEQ2VHMwRGRMc0F0a2txcHNuVGRUdTZmZmtQRUZqak1PTGUwME5LK0cxVFlMcDA0dUFKeXpxUjVCRHNoc0JZamJXREFPTnI4OWdIZ1luOStYbUxrK1hLY1lQSlFSbFRtSHVGcDJ3PQ%3D%3D/POSITIVE+FUNNY+QUOTE+OF+THE+DAY/(3afdc6f9625d7f8e5fd41559a1dd29e0).jpg)
“Don’t worry about what people think. They don’t do it often.” – Anonymous
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYUI3K3IzNWJmSHR0UWUxU1pqR0RtR1BZR1VFdjk5ZzNjSFl0aFV0eGdoQjErTEpHeVFITTcyVTVYSmRMYWlNREhqb0g3aTI0RFAyc2w0VnVkUVBtbHRYVkFhSW4vMXRNdVFRY2laVSt1b3U3dGpiMVB1anNQOUFMbmdKQVdxY1QwMEN1T0hZUlVtNUFHeWRKZWYxaHpJPQ%3D%3D/POSITIVE+FUNNY+QUOTE+OF+THE+DAY/(a77029922ed435e685d4a15d3d675821).jpg)
“My bank account is like my phone battery, it never lasts long enough.” – Anonymous
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRTblU1OUpvbUpoSTFnUEo5NEgrN2E5QTlBbnJ2eGNpbUdDTEpmU2dnT0YydHJXTmN6K09oOXpPNW5PWHdHS3NYN1FHbWh1TVE5ek1ETlhuZmhqbDZEQnhHNXVKcXNjL0V6Z3Y4YThnS21KNmU1T1h2bDVXcjNHZ1piMnR5U3hRPT0%3D/POSITIVE+FUNNY+QUOTE+OF+THE+DAY/(8196b7e8f1183b39841ccabda6f8edee).jpg)
“Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!” – Anonymous
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUjQxN2pUVmhYM044N2Q4WEp1TG5CN01scTUrcXFTUklFUGVyWFVpclhWUUZwQlA2dXU0YzFDaUhpeWFCek4rUCtWS1NuNm13dzFXNjliNzUxQjZIUVdNTmFTejZEcHMwK3pBUXJwL3BmemNmM213NmVpbnNVNG5xRCtBRnI4aDBRdCtVRnU5WlNwU2VLNGxoZWNpYUFBc25aRWhEclBHWXNmU2tBdVYrN0NmR3dKdTc1V0RSeEVCQTdrbnpja0NCZDdmY2loWE4rYTJrcjhabFBwU0liajk5NFFxaHJuV2ZXd01nUFJCT0FlWQ%3D%3D/POSITIVE+FUNNY+QUOTE+OF+THE+DAY/(70db0f0573eb8fce0f9dd1e674465e90).jpg)
“I finally realized that people are prisoners of their phones… That’s why it’s called a ‘cell’ phone.” – Anonymous