POSITIVE THINKING QUOTES FUNNY

“The only thing better than a good friend is a good friend with chocolate.” – Linda Grayson

“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” – Charles Lamb

“The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.” – Lucille Ball

“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?” – Robin Williams

“I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.” – Douglas Adams

“I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go into another room and read a book.” – Groucho Marx

“I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.” – Anonymous

“The early bird can have the worm, because worms are gross and mornings are stupid.” – Anonymous

“I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She hugged me.” – Unknown

“I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.” – Unknown

“I finally realized that I’m a grown-up when I got excited about a new cleaning sponge.” – Unknown WORK AND RELATIONSHIP BALANCE QUOTES

“The hardest part of exercising is getting up off the couch. Am I right, Netflix?” – Unknown

“Eat cake, it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.” – Unknown

“My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.” – Unknown

“I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.” – Unknown

“The key to success is to start before you’re ready. Unless you’re skydiving.” – Unknown

“I asked the gym instructor if he could teach me to do the splits. He replied, ‘How flexible are you?’ I said, ‘I can’t make it on Tuesdays.'” – Unknown

“Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.” – Elbert Hubbard

“The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.” – Albert Einstein

“If at first, you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.” – Steven Wright