PRACTICE FUNNY QUOTES

“I’m sorry, if you were right, I’d agree with you.” – Robin Williams

“I didn’t fail the test, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.” – Benjamin Franklin

“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” – Charles Lamb

“The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.” – Al McGuire

“The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not.” – Mark Twain

“The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass.” – Martin Mull

“I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.” – Unknown

“I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.” – Unknown

“If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?” – Scott Adams

“I’m not lazy. I’m on energy-saving mode.” – Unknown

“I exercise because I love eating. And I love eating because I exercise.” – Unknown

“I’m not clumsy, I’m just participating in a performance art called ‘indoor falling’.” – Unknown SAD LOVE ANIME QUOTES

“I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.” – Unknown

“I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.” – Steven Wright

“I don’t have a dirty mind, I have a sexy imagination.” – Unknown

“I don’t need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.” – Unknown

“I don’t need anger management, I need people to stop pissing me off.” – Unknown

“I don’t need Google, my wife knows everything.” – Unknown

“I don’t need a personal trainer, I need someone to follow me around and slap unhealthy food out of my hand.” – Unknown

“I don’t need a six-pack, I prefer the whole keg.” – Unknown

“I don’t need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.” – Unknown

“I don’t need a key to get into heaven. I’d rather swim through the gates.” – Unknown

“I don’t need a prince to save me. I need a weirdo who makes me laugh.” – Unknown