“Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.” – Unknown

“Chuck Norris doesn’t dial the wrong number. You pick up the wrong phone.” – Unknown

“Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.” – Unknown

“Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.” – Unknown

“Chuck Norris can hear sign language.” – Unknown

“Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are known today as giraffes.” – Unknown

“Chuck Norris can divide by zero.” – Unknown

“Chuck Norris can speak Braille.” – Unknown

“Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends.” – Unknown

“Fear of spiders is arachnophobia, fear of tight spaces is claustrophobia, and fear of Chuck Norris is called logic.” – Unknown

“Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.” – Unknown

“Chuck Norris once bowled a perfect game…with a marble.” – Unknown

“When Alexander Bell invented the telephone, he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris.” – Unknown FUNNY CHRISTMAS GYM QUOTES

“Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is.” – Unknown

“Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.” – Unknown

“Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.” – Unknown

“Chuck Norris can kill two stones with just one bird.” – Unknown

“Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.” – Unknown

“Chuck Norris doesn’t sleep. He waits.” – Unknown

“Chuck Norris can cut through a hot knife with butter.” – Unknown

“Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.” – Unknown

“Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories.” – Unknown

“When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he doesn’t lift himself up, he pushes the Earth down.” – Unknown

“Chuck Norris once had a heart attack, his heart lost.” – Unknown

“Chuck Norris walked into a bar. The bar said, ‘Sorry, we don’t serve food.'” – Unknown