QUOTES ABOUT FUNNY

“I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.” – Woody Allen

“I didn’t fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.” – Benjamin Franklin

“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” – Charles Lamb

“The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.” – Al McGuire

“I intend to live forever. So far, so good.” – Steven Wright

“I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.” – Michael Scott

“I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.” – Henny Youngman

“I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.” – Emo Philips

“I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.” – Douglas Adams

“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.” – Jim Carrey

“The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” – Oscar Wilde SHAKESPEARE MOTIVATIONAL QUOTES

“My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far, I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.” – Dave Barry

“I’m not insulting you, I’m describing you.” – Stefan Molyneux

“I’m not crazy, my reality is just different than yours.” – Lewis Carroll

“The only thing that travels faster than light is bad news.” – Terry Pratchett

“I don’t have a dirty mind, I have a sexy imagination.” – Unknown

“The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.” – Albert Einstein

“If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.” – Dalai Lama

“The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.” – Will Rogers

“If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?” – Scott Adams

“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.” – Steve Martin