RELAX QUOTES FUNNY

“Stressed is just desserts spelled backward.” – Unknown

“I’m not telling you to relax, I’m telling you to put down the coffee, because you’re scaring me.” – Unknown

“Time to sit back and relax, because life’s too short to be worried about everything.” – Unknown

“I’m on a 30-day diet. So far, I’ve lost 15 days and it’s going great.” – Unknown

“My doctor told me to watch my drinking, so I’m off to find a comfy bar stool.” – Unknown

“The only time I ever relax is when I’m on vacation…from my mind.” – Unknown

“Relaxing doesn’t mean doing nothing. It means doing something enjoyable without worrying about the outcome.” – Unknown

“I put the ‘pro’ in procrastination.” – Unknown

“I like to relax by closing my eyes and imagining all the things I could be doing if I weren’t so lazy.” – Unknown

“If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel by now.” – Unknown

“Procaffeinating: the tendency to not start anything until you’ve had at least one cup of coffee.” – Unknown

“Some people are like clouds. When they disappear, it’s a beautiful day.” – Unknown

“I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.” – Unknown

“I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.” – Unknown

“I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes… She stared at me for a second and hugged me.” – Unknown

“I need a six-month vacation, twice a year.” – Unknown BEST CHEF QUOTES

“My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.” – Unknown

“Don’t take life too seriously, nobody gets out alive anyway.” – Unknown

“The road to success is always under construction.” – Unknown

“Dear life, when I asked if my day could get any worse, it was meant to be a rhetorical question, not a challenge.” – Unknown

“Doing nothing is an underrated art form.” – Unknown

“If you can stay calm while all around you is chaos, then you probably haven’t completely understood the situation.” – Unknown

“Home is where you can say anything you like because nobody listens to you anyway.” – Unknown

“I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” – Douglas Adams

“I’m not lazy, I’m just highly motivated to do nothing.” – Unknown

“The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.” – Unknown

“Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow?” – Unknown

“I tried to be normal once; worst two minutes of my life.” – Unknown

“Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.” – Don Marquis

“I don’t need an inspirational quote. I need coffee and a vacation.” – Unknown