![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYk5WT04xdk5meFluVm5hWkpxY09TU0RDdHBzRTNaY1IrekVFaGxKVWNlbTNoSE1yandTenk1MWFIelA4dU5IaVVPZUxQc05HcVdMdXh3MEJaQVQySWlqcEVoT1dWWVI5WlF3YXFVV1lWeHNCK3R3aXRXUkRRMnZDUXByd09uNE1OWDNIeFcyS05QQitJeVNqQUI0ekduV3R6MGt5dDBmQUl3cWM2RW82RVJJM1NpTUM0WWJGMkhFZ2hjcTdacHVSQT09/ROAST+QUOTES+FOR+FRIENDS/(b23fe632d74b28b1400c349bcac42e72).jpg)
“I’m sorry, did I invite you to the roast? Oh wait, I didn’t because I didn’t think you could handle the heat.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVXFWSXJPdTBwMzYvd09qbEs3S08yejNvQ0JRNGVaVHhPaHFOeDZDd1huWDhTT3hoWEJnTjVINUl1SEVTY3lpZUVvaHM2dmwzTi9zcWdMSFBkVWQwR3VWWUhYaS9tNW9keXBtdm9KWFgwTm02dTl4YzdFUHFyNStkY2hnTzNNKy9RPT0%3D/ROAST+QUOTES+FOR+FRIENDS/(488f7172ca3174b81bf137071fd7aafb).jpg)
“You’re so forgettable, I have to set a reminder to remember your name.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYUhvVzlsUm5CdnN3Q2xrc042WXh6YUkzMUhzelZsdU5PZllPa0hBcmczdFppNkRyR3kwcFUxbitzZHBBajFleDU4ZlJOQUZCVWNDU3VkTTdVUWF0ZlE1Mis0OTMwNTMyNklPNUM1S2V5NWNQa1dBNG9pYkNwS05YamZMRlBaRDdRPT0%3D/ROAST+QUOTES+FOR+FRIENDS/(5d17969b32903c0a0ac3dac70740fe1a).jpg)
“I would roast you, but that would imply that you actually matter.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrU0o0MWpWT0FDVEUzci9JSVRmTmVLZTJZci94OHIxdXRnT0diL0tUUWczUTgwNG5abnlEVkRUVndJdHEydXdkelA0M2FLK2RjZXM3M0NreHJUZnB0MU5ZcndXM2VpRjExSVVnNmVDc05NZ0dlbnU5MmVEUWNFaDBNSlJwTlloT3l3PT0%3D/ROAST+QUOTES+FOR+FRIENDS/(c0e870ec52ee476227ba081684768927).jpg)
“Calling you a tool would be an insult to useful objects everywhere.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVXFWSXJPdTBwMzYvd09qbEs3S08yejEzOWtWZ1B0T1l4OVFMZlZodkhFTnFsbnF1ZEJ4SkhVVDdOVElZcmZOS0ROVzRtcGlCeUF2SEozemNaRDRNSVN1OTNXUUVUZ1NiTFBkd0t6dHFnZGR1Q25PQXl0TFc1OHVSY2ZERUtKd293PT0%3D/ROAST+QUOTES+FOR+FRIENDS/(cfa43e88316e21a2ac8ea7f97064c8a6).jpg)
“You’re proof that sometimes intelligence skips a generation.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVXFWSXJPdTBwMzYvd09qbEs3S08yd0FoMWZKejUzVXNiZjluWVlTQjV6emx2SmxlWm1kTFhqbjFyUDNKclFPK2RKcFJsamlLcHcwdDc0a2NwRk5nalBiUnc5cXF6bU9ZZ3dhMG4rUTVxTDU%3D/ROAST+QUOTES+FOR+FRIENDS/(f823c4d58488098dbf451345f92adf0e).jpg)
“You’re like a coin – two-faced and worthless.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVzJ0VHBabUh4VWk2UXNXRUNTTTd4OFQ2b0tweDY5UUFPenkvYllDbmNuWUJzYkJ4VFk2cXJlbnhST2N1NStFbnpSRTNPaW9CZ3FZVyt3MHQ2UWxWVmlGbjJPYmhGMEVmWlRhK2EyTE4zY0QrMlBxeHBCeHVCTG80eTIvUFE2ME13PT0%3D/ROAST+QUOTES+FOR+FRIENDS/(f997b046de65632922489f81df21c5db).jpg)
“If stupidity was an Olympic sport, you would definitely win the gold medal.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWnM2dkJoUThLTUlRbTRqNnRQMm5QRlY0dDNuRFArNVBnT0lCWEdoRTV2WklYOXoyWTJCZk1YbXVtNGxpaXhyQ1pSNEwrQTlyY2o4VWN1ZENXejFnZndvT0FLU1RLMFpzMmdLNzFjaFFFNTZSZDUwbDlvOW9TNURGVHB2RXd0QndhbEhTVUlDRFhyWUxPZ2FJVm1QOFFjPQ%3D%3D/ROAST+QUOTES+FOR+FRIENDS/(808e6a7afa4b99178bfff1d819f6abbe).jpg)
“Did you fall from heaven? Because it looks like you hit every branch on the way down.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZWU2ZTRCLzZ0elhXOXhuekdOTC9oN3BEOEhNSHJJQm1SYWNGV0xZbW4rYjhFUU5ramZFSTFIRk96VytBQk5wdWF4Wm52QzJObjUybW9zYnpWWTJ2M3VXVWpVNXVOU2RKaFFrTXhVTXFrUTBSaTNOaE5uWFprdkhkeHdlNTJnRmlQRHk3ZG0zb2lqaFZGbFJCaXRwaGVWSmZzbW9DdWZBeG0xRXk3Mi9mbWVvY0ZZOXNyM2dabHZUeHlZcENWWU5WZz09/ROAST+QUOTES+FOR+FRIENDS/(62681d797cfad0406ce7d2c1323bab53).jpg)
“You should wear a sign that says ‘Caution: highly flammable material’ because you’re so easy to roast.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWnM2dkJoUThLTUlRbTRqNnRQMm5QR2k5a29WRDFsSytiQlZYUmRvVzhQRklxbVlHVDR3VzdoWmtvUDg1NWZya3VoOGlVaG1ENmF6ZUJBaUs1K21MSVUxcDhSNVVlcDVpWEJiVDA3cHZja04xMTNjZGE1TjFtZVp6MGx4WGpFdklhRHNQWEl4QVg5RkorMWZLOVNGUzREKzdJY2pCejJvOVl3dVY3T1pvMUlC/ROAST+QUOTES+FOR+FRIENDS/(645b805432939baaf0c0e21a38f25586).jpg)
“Did you come up with your own jokes? Because they’re about as funny as a dentist appointment.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYkhEQjd0S1l2SGNqWk5uQitFVlZMSE54bFJiMCs2enp2alAyWnRBWjU0NzBqMEt6enJzOWhLT3MydVhYb09VaTVpalFBRXlUVjdRVHBnZDVnK1l3a2x6eWk0UVRCMzZ6aEdZajdzVzR6RVI%3D/ROAST+QUOTES+FOR+FRIENDS/(6fb3aa7242c2ee28ed7f216bbceef112).jpg)
“You have enough baggage to start a luggage store.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVXFWSXJPdTBwMzYvd09qbEs3S08yemNHeXkwL0RmWW1TNDI4VTJvUTdpT0FTZUhRYnVlMy8zckpCTUN3T1ZnbUlXOU1hU3FFL1BIVkJZZG9XRXZUSlB3ZlpuTm95dW1iSXFRSFJwdkZJZ3R0OEtkcHRxeHlSQnliL2R6U1E3UEhnPT0%3D/ROAST+QUOTES+FOR+FRIENDS/(f36d29bd64e3f9982478c2a2aec0a1c1).jpg)
“You’re so boring, even the treadmill falls asleep when you step on it.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVXFWSXJPdTBwMzYvd09qbEs3S08yeVh0NTNtcXoveUxnRmZGdmJkR2w3WG9BeXU4ellRMVB6UjRrZllYbEFtdkRwU0h1RmwrUXpoUkZmNXhibUE1R2pzMTc0YjErSHo5VkFSV2NLWDR5cGVoUWFBZjlvNEZtbVUzWkl6SUtqRnhQUjBZZC9YRmw1R0t0bmFsUXlTa2NNPQ%3D%3D/ROAST+QUOTES+FOR+FRIENDS/(0591f2e786d10b37cf32fa426129a260).jpg)
“You’re the reason why shampoo has instructions.” BROTHER CARING SISTER QUOTES
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWEJlTkpRRG9vb1A1UTc5M2NaT29aSHFqcnZISXFPWVl0Z05sMHhoNU5SOXZWT0U5dFVQS3dzVzNZUm5tMDh3VzFrSEE1TkRaTStQRXZQK2RxYVRFZ3UvR3NiMXlqOGJ1dlFzd2JUWmpPQ1M3UnJtcGpVcy9wTkZZT1JWaHU4QU04RnhGRzI3M1JtSklIT2VnWlowSjVJZDhHdTkyT2EwSXRlRU1ZM0Z5Qkdz/ROAST+QUOTES+FOR+FRIENDS/(9f66e207cc785282c75eb6059d0c6618).jpg)
“Being around you is like being on a diet – it’s a constant reminder of how miserable life can be.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrV0hkUHY0VHdaUkVyOHNTV2dhaWVWKzZuTk4xVmU0Rlk4MzN6aGFDSE9sSFVPeE1naHRxSW81UnBwM2ZOU05EZFBaZno1OFM3elJWR0o2WFZ0Y3FURW89/ROAST+QUOTES+FOR+FRIENDS/(e806c0293d43177e6b14ba3668a09f0d).jpg)
“I hope you have a great day, just not around me.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYWpvU2NDOENWVG1FQWZRTGF0WUdLSlk2VkhzbmdkSDdMVmhjSk1JeVNCS1pOSjgyL3JYbkpnUExQRHowVkhxS0YzUzNPazh5eXhFczMwUXpLaFJnQWlReENMSzhXTHJKNnZrZVNLaklZbTFGdHhHKzU5cTU0dXV2SVVQZ2lZa2pLa1kreEhjdkkraGxkSWx1YStSYkRIMlZtbUxPNlFjaFNsbkVIT2Q2OVJq/ROAST+QUOTES+FOR+FRIENDS/(7c04fbb9ed1ef996183280aba11a48bd).jpg)
“Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you weren’t in it? No? Neither does anyone else.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYUhvVzlsUm5CdnN3Q2xrc042WXh6YTEyTGtXVElldWpJZzAzZjdHT1dVcSsvczRoZ0pKUWs3Vjh2Rmd5WG5vZ2drdk1Xa3lUUjFkZWw5cXJtbTJvU0pQcGU1NURiZUFsS255WklLVnk0VTJIakhwaEJPVXJaNVB1NkR1QlQxanZEM0Y0ZHN4OTk1Mm04dTdmSWp3MWd3PQ%3D%3D/ROAST+QUOTES+FOR+FRIENDS/(2c73f192ae263c90e7104951fabe69b6).jpg)
“I would give you a reality check, but I heard you already live in a fantasy world.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVXFWSXJPdTBwMzYvd09qbEs3S08yeVNpWGZLYzNaSFYvcGZzNlNSelNqTEJEQVYvMy9uUHZiNndUamtCNFErRG5wdEIwbHIwWnozRXJzam1kRjRZS1NWa290RTBmazZyVi9FbFg3bVh4YWNQTmNNMWNNVXg0T0ZtZzZsMGlsV093PT0%3D/ROAST+QUOTES+FOR+FRIENDS/(2c105709b3267a32c7dd76c7f87bfb25).jpg)
“You’re like an empty book – full of pages, but no substance.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYTFOTXkvcUhBL2NqVkxYTzFRcWgrbHZESUhuY2pQbzlJbG9STEIrOVh0VzhReUU2VDZOZ2FuNXpVLy95c09XTWZtNzcxOWl4ajJ2U2ljc0ZGUGYyODBsMWp4dzJDWHk5bVR2MGRVellleDg0MVNLam04Y2VnV2ZMSTZ1akdmeDRBPT0%3D/ROAST+QUOTES+FOR+FRIENDS/(78e84b2ec238243ff8b9ba29048fa0eb).jpg)
“You must have a map because I keep getting lost in your mediocrity.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZDFxSUJ4dFpEazZZcStWYTQvK29QRDBpWitDWEtPWjZqN24wdGFRWk1odmlZRUhwZEZpRHJDRlNiYVpwY1pFdkVzMWliWjJRMzFJbDZhNHFZeTNYWGFnRElxc09hSFE2VUlrbVQyU2xPZ2c%3D/ROAST+QUOTES+FOR+FRIENDS/(acbf55add82f2214776f96a432554b95).jpg)
“If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person alive.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVXFWSXJPdTBwMzYvd09qbEs3S08yd1JjTFJsZ1NSRUUwbXRrZytyNHZ3VmtUbXpjMDhvRUhVTmx1QXhqWEptYk94RmZrVEFSbjdUTXVGaGJSWXlxYW5VWWxOL2FhN2xUak1OSWxhOHdnSHQ%3D/ROAST+QUOTES+FOR+FRIENDS/(9a9f4129d8d7d8ed70485523e495bcbc).jpg)
“You’re the human equivalent of a participation award.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZm5qSXh6Vi83T002VTZJeUxLeXRRYTV2WnI3ZUMwM0NieWROTkFOd3Z4V3FUTkVmbGg5MTJ4aURHS1FRNnJHVXFNRjhvU3hsTG9rd3RyZVdPUmlpbjk4RHZ6UEt2K2JxZDlMR0poTWJIZkRoZ0J4YWVnR0V3Ukt1djE3L21vY0FrPQ%3D%3D/ROAST+QUOTES+FOR+FRIENDS/(d7f0a5efa91f59f3eb83339a4f9b4951).jpg)
“I’d let you win an argument, but I don’t want to make a habit out of lying.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZElLOUxXUmd4cnd3MktaQ1Z1UnFpQTM2eXNiMXQ0WitqTGkvN0E1dk5PU3BJODBlWUtpWmtyc1pIeHlTb0Mwc2NvK1RNS0UxUi9HZEU5Z29DRXBka0F5OE51c3BuYmMzQXI3K3B4ZWdrTWpOeWhOUmhIbXZFekRFOGp3QnZRcFdCd0pETmxmdkxFM2xWcVVIcEY4eFhmaGJEZXhOcXpuNS9HVC9IajNYUVFkVCtPeS9la1kvY05iVnpPM0dMZkc3cz0%3D/ROAST+QUOTES+FOR+FRIENDS/(138ee1139049bf604de41d39a21d3265).jpg)
“I’m not saying you’re dumb, but if brains were gasoline, you wouldn’t have enough to drive a toy car around the block.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVXFWSXJPdTBwMzYvd09qbEs3S08yeS9PZkZDNmgxTjVtWE1ZdnVZeG5hQmdzd2JyRG16Nit4OGN1SWw5dDdncVlKc0Y3YitoUmZJRmJodlhGM3dhOE1uclNOdW9kdTdTQ2xXU25UZE9xVWd5b2M0ZWlMYmdyWDNNYjdXVDI5OU1nPT0%3D/ROAST+QUOTES+FOR+FRIENDS/(0b256af023053d5fc8fad7c1f8bed403).jpg)
“You’re like a mosquito – annoying and completely unnecessary.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVDlvSTR1ZG41ZzFuMVpGVStXN3R2alczRGRicWY1ampwOExuU1RPcTNzQWZ3bVpaVGtaNjJjY1RFVFNlSisraXZ1NmJidFBEeTN5c1M2aXlyd0dRcGhFSDBCK0p2SzVtRDVEU0dSWmtMb3B5cGMvaE8xVjZnOVA2cFV6NmpkQ213PT0%3D/ROAST+QUOTES+FOR+FRIENDS/(8e75bf0ddc0dcbe1a35af47aad95d587).jpg)
“I don’t have the time or the crayons to explain this to you.”