“I’m sorry, did I invite you to the roast? Oh wait, I didn’t because I didn’t think you could handle the heat.”

“You’re so forgettable, I have to set a reminder to remember your name.”

“I would roast you, but that would imply that you actually matter.”

“Calling you a tool would be an insult to useful objects everywhere.”

“You’re proof that sometimes intelligence skips a generation.”

“You’re like a coin – two-faced and worthless.”

“If stupidity was an Olympic sport, you would definitely win the gold medal.”

“Did you fall from heaven? Because it looks like you hit every branch on the way down.”

“You should wear a sign that says ‘Caution: highly flammable material’ because you’re so easy to roast.”

“Did you come up with your own jokes? Because they’re about as funny as a dentist appointment.”

“You have enough baggage to start a luggage store.”

“You’re so boring, even the treadmill falls asleep when you step on it.”

“You’re the reason why shampoo has instructions.” NEW LOVE QUOTES IN ENGLISH

“Being around you is like being on a diet – it’s a constant reminder of how miserable life can be.”

“I hope you have a great day, just not around me.”

“Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you weren’t in it? No? Neither does anyone else.”

“I would give you a reality check, but I heard you already live in a fantasy world.”

“You’re like an empty book – full of pages, but no substance.”

“You must have a map because I keep getting lost in your mediocrity.”

“If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person alive.”

“You’re the human equivalent of a participation award.”

“I’d let you win an argument, but I don’t want to make a habit out of lying.”

“I’m not saying you’re dumb, but if brains were gasoline, you wouldn’t have enough to drive a toy car around the block.”

“You’re like a mosquito – annoying and completely unnecessary.”

“I don’t have the time or the crayons to explain this to you.”