“We were on a break!”

“Just because I’m not doing anything doesn’t mean I’m not busy.”

“I grew up in a house with Monica screaming in my ear, my parents fighting, and the dog barking. I need chaos.”

“Unagi. It’s a state of total awareness.”

“We may be on the verge of hellish, fiery unimaginable punishment… But that doesn’t mean we can’t be friends.”

“Ah, humor based on my pain.”

“It’s not that common, it doesn’t happen to every guy, and it is a big deal!”

“I’m fine! I just… I’m fine!”

“I like dinosaurs. They’re the world’s most misunderstood creatures. They never got a chance. They just got wiped out overnight. Hate when that happens.”

“You can’t just give up! Is that what a dinosaur would do?”

“I’m a paleontologist. That’s who I am.”

“I’m a doctor! Why do people keep forgetting I’m a doctor?”

“I’m Ross, I’m divorced, and I have a kid… I’m somewhere between a lizard and a mollusk.”

“If my parents had lived in a different time zone, this would have been a non-issue.”

“I’m sorry, did my back hurt your knife?”

“It’s not that common, it doesn’t happen to every guy, and it IS a big deal!” I LOVE YOU DEEP QUOTES

“The greatest feeling you can get in a gym, or the most satisfying feeling you can get in the gym is the pump. Let’s say you train your biceps. Blood is rushing into your muscles and that’s what we call the pump.”

“How am I not myself? My genome is mapped! My cholesterol’s low!”

“I am a reasonable, responsible adult. Now, where is my shoe?”

“Isn’t that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic?”

“It’s like all my life everyone’s always told me, ‘You’re a shoe! You’re a shoe! You’re a shoe!’ Well, what if I don’t want to be a shoe? What if I want to be a purse or a hat?”

“Come on, dinosaurs, divorce – they don’t go together.”

“Yes, I will have a glass of your finest, please.”

“I don’t want to be single, okay? I just want to be married again!”

“I cannot believe you did not tell me I was adopted!”

“You can’t just give up! Is that what a dinosaur would do?”

“I know I’m not a perfect guy, but when I find the right person, I’ll make a damn good husband.”

“Marriage is about being a team. And you’re either on my side or you’re in the way.”

“You married her and you waited five years to have sex? What are you waiting for, the girl to ask you?!”

“I think I figured out why I don’t have a boyfriend; it’s all this damn history.”