SARCASM FUNNY QUOTES ABOUT BEING SINGLE

“I’m single because I refuse to settle for anything less than someone who ticks all the boxes: rich, gorgeous, funny, intelligent, and a mind reader.”

“Being single is like a full-time job, except you don’t get paid and you have to bring your own happiness.”

“Who needs a boyfriend or girlfriend when I can have an unlimited supply of pizza and Netflix?”

“I’m single, not by choice, but because apparently, my standards are as high as Mount Everest.”

“Being single means I can spend all my money on myself instead of buying gifts for an ungrateful partner.”

“I’m not single, I’m just practicing a very advanced form of social distancing.”

“Who needs a relationship when I can argue with Siri and get the same level of satisfaction?”

“I’m so single that my parents have started saving money by only setting the dinner table for one.”

“I pretend to be strong, independent, and self-sufficient, but deep down, I secretly want someone to kill spiders for me.”

“I’m single because apparently, ‘crazy cat person’ is not an available option on dating apps.”

“Being single is great because I never have to share my food, my thoughts, or my bed.”

“I’m single because all the good ones are either fictional characters, taken, or living in a parallel universe.”

“The only thing I’m committed to is my love for chocolate and wine. Unfortunately, they don’t come in human form.”

“Every time someone tells me I’ll find love when I least expect it, I just keep my expectations super low by never expecting it.”

“Being single means never having to answer the question, ‘What’s for dinner?'” MISSING MY HAPPINESS QUOTES

“I’m single because I haven’t found someone who can handle both my insane sarcasm and my glaringly obvious flaws.”

“Instead of saying I’m single, I prefer to say I’m in a long-term, committed relationship with freedom and independence.”

“The only commitment I’m interested in is the one between me and my comfy sweatpants.”

“I might be single, but my fantasy football team thinks I’m a great catch.”

“I’m single because relationships require effort, compromise, and sharing the last slice of pizza. No thanks!”

“Being single is like having all the time in the world to do whatever I want, except I usually just end up binge-watching TV shows.”

“I’m single because my love for sleep and my hatred for mornings are too strong for a relationship to handle.”

“I’m single because apparently, my hilarious jokes and dazzling personality are just too much for people to handle.”

“Why buy a relationship when I can get all the emotional support I need from my daily horoscope?”

“I don’t need a partner, I have my own personal cheerleader in my head constantly reminding me of how amazing I am.”

“The only relationship status I’m interested in is ‘in a committed relationship with myself and my dog.'”

“Being single means always winning the silent competition of ‘who can eat the most ice cream in one sitting.'”

“I’m single because dating involves too much small talk, exaggeration, and pretending not to stalk someone’s social media profiles.”