SARCASTIC QUOTES ABOUT FRIENDS ON FACEBOOK

“Sure, let’s be friends on Facebook so I can enjoy your constant updates about what you had for breakfast.”

“Thank you for sharing your 500th selfie today. My life would be incomplete without knowing what you look like every hour.”

“Congratulations on becoming the official weather reporter for Facebook. I didn’t realize my newsfeed was lacking the daily weather forecast.”

“It’s impressive how your grammar and spelling skills seem to have gotten worse with every new Facebook status update.”

“I’m so grateful for your daily doses of inspiration and motivation. Who needs real friends when they have Facebook friends like you?”

“Please, keep posting those vague, attention-seeking statuses. We’re all dying to know what’s wrong without you actually telling us.”

“Thanks for reminding me why I don’t miss high school. Your drama-filled Facebook updates bring back so many memories.”

“I didn’t realize I had signed up for your daily newsletter on Facebook. Your opinions are truly life-changing.”

“You definitely deserve an award for having the most overused Facebook filters on your pictures. Congrats!”

“I’m glad you feel the need to post a daily update on your weight loss journey. The world couldn’t function without knowing how many pounds you’ve lost every day.”

“Wow, your inspirational quotes are so original and unique. I’ve never seen them posted on every other Facebook profile.”

“Thank you for posting hourly workout selfies. It really inspires me to sit on the couch and watch TV.”

“You have a talent for posting the most pointless updates on Facebook. Keep up the good work!”

“I’m sorry for not liking your 20 vacation photos on Facebook. I didn’t realize I had to validate your trips.”

“Oh, so now you’re an expert on every topic because you googled it once? I’m amazed at your vast knowledge, Facebook professor.” BEST TATTOO QUOTES ABOUT STRENGTH

“Thanks for sharing your daily horoscope updates. Now I know the best time to avoid you.”

“Your food pictures always look so appetizing. I mean, how could I resist blurry photos of your uncooked spaghetti?”

“You should be proud of your impeccable Facebook game. Your passive-aggressive posts are pure art.”

“I’m grateful for all the enlightening political discussions on your Facebook page. It’s refreshing to see you change the world one heated argument at a time.”

“Do you ever wonder what life was like before you started oversharing your relationship on Facebook? Oh, wait, you probably don’t.”

“Your constant humble-bragging on Facebook is truly admirable. You’re the pinnacle of modesty.”

“Congratulations on constantly changing your relationship status on Facebook. I’m happy to see your love life is as stable as ever.”

“I find it impressive how you manage to look incredible in every single photo you post on Facebook. Please teach us your secrets, oh mighty Photoshop wizard.”

“Thanks for filling my newsfeed with meaningless quizzes and surveys. I didn’t realize I needed to know what mythical creature I am.”

“I genuinely appreciate how your daily Instagram posts conveniently find their way to my Facebook feed. It saves me the trouble of checking multiple platforms to see your breakfast.”

“I’m glad you’re always quick to comment on my Facebook posts, pointing out every grammatical error I make. You’re like my personal digital editor.”

“Your Facebook updates about how busy you are truly inspire me to do absolutely nothing with my life.”

“Your constant need to complain about your job on Facebook is a real joy to read. I can’t wait for the 127th update about your annoying boss.”