“Oh, you’re getting another award? What a surprise.”

“Wow, you’re so smart. I wish I could be just like you…not.”

“I always look forward to spending time with you… said no one ever.”

“Oh, you got another perfect score on your test? Must be nice being so perfect.”

“Of course you’re the center of attention. Who wouldn’t be fascinated by your amazing life?”

“Wow, your outfit is truly unique. I’ve never seen anyone wear that much clashing patterns before.”

“Please tell me more about your incredibly important and fascinating life. I can’t get enough.”

“You’re right, I should totally follow in your footsteps and make all the same mistakes you did.”

“I’m so glad we have each other because no one else could handle our level of sarcasm.”

“Your ability to overthink the simplest of things never ceases to amaze me.”

“I’m sorry, did you just say something? I must have been too busy not caring.”

“You’re such a trendsetter. I mean, who else could make ugly sweaters look so…ugly?”

“I’m really glad you’re my sister. Where else would I get my daily dose of eye-rolling?”

“Please, tell me more about how amazing you are. It’s not like I already know everything.” BAD MOTHER IN LAW QUOTES FROM DAUGHTER IN LAW

“You’re like a breath of fresh air… if fresh air smelled like arrogance and sarcasm.”

“Oh, you have a new boyfriend? Please tell me more about how perfect he is and how he walks on water.”

“Your advice is always so valuable. I mean, who needs Google when I have you?”

“Thanks for always setting the bar so high. It’s a constant reminder of how average I am.”

“I’m so glad we have each other to make fun of everyone else. It’s all in good sarcasm, right?”

“You’re such an inspiration. I mean, who wouldn’t want to be just like you? Oh wait, me.”

“Your humility is truly unmatched. I’m in awe of your ability to not let compliments get to your head…said no one ever.”

“I’m really glad you’re so good at everything. It must be exhausting being so perfect all the time.”

“You have such a unique fashion sense. No one else could pull off mismatched socks quite like you.”

“I’m so grateful for your constant sarcasm. It’s like a warm hug… from a porcupine.”

“I genuinely admire your ability to talk about yourself for hours on end. It’s truly a gift.”

“You’re right, I should totally take life advice from you. I mean, what would I do without you telling me what to do?”