![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYk5WT04xdk5meFluVm5hWkpxY09TVGlyMCtoYnZRTElLZm91ck5lVjdFaDIwa3QxZjZhSERVcjUvOWdzNDNSay9GOGFsZUVSVkFNTHp1RmdEcVRJUC9Sd0RsQ29LTW9JcVBweHI1VGpqZnlZenlpSThNNW5TbjVKZ2Fsakd5NlI0QnlxMDcxTlZGV1ZwUEdvQkM4eTBSRFEyYXJkS2lPY3VaQXNsamFOWmpL/SELF+IRONY+QUOTES/(1b0287168456843801d8875377c4eb0b).jpg)
“I’m a master at procrastination… just give me five more minutes to think of a witty quote about it.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUjdWMi9WaHpwcjFMOFBNaEM3dEltZUIrM0djN0tYYzF4Zk5vbVNYWGxzdkthRy91Z3ZGTWR6akt6NEVnZnI5R0dUaTdxSnlHbndpK2lCa2ZoWVdEdUpVamU0YTd0ZlhhVEJCSUl6Q0hVMkJEOWluclhOL1FXS1lVT09iaU9NMHRqZVVUNGdsMXFQeWhsVksxNGFoQVp3S2tud0hHZmsvOC9ab3FhakJPU3Za/SELF+IRONY+QUOTES/(73416e3940cb1be6468304a142dfe549).jpg)
“I can never seem to find my keys, but I promise I’m great at finding random useless facts online.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWVBERVljQUkvT3pQTDlvMy8vSFlOcHJjN2Q5N01QYmJkNjFSK2NvK0FTUEZjK1NPMERJMFp0MkFucWRaZk51UWU1OFNMYkhWekM4cWMwSFNrOURXaEk1cGQ4MGpvR002UTRLYW1vMythdW0%3D/SELF+IRONY+QUOTES/(850fbbe60fe1cb5c8ecd489f073a462a).jpg)
“My love for exercise is only rivaled by my love for sleeping in.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZTBJU05aVjNlZ2tXRzZnZGRJOUxEbzdHNi9rd3FwZTVNTitZMlp5R2ZweGk4ckV1V1QwQVNEZmFIdmN5VytBYmRlbHFiUkJ2cjdsRVZLdi9YNy9BNDZ2SlhYUGZuc0YxbGN2dnNSWHZyS1lRb0dhNW05TjA2YjFxQUo0TWdrMXdtU1VSbU5RcEdBa0hNNUF6Q21JM0V3/SELF+IRONY+QUOTES/(23cfb4e085b50ca7e66b6bfe8baf519a).jpg)
“I’m living proof that a messy bun and yoga pants can be both a fashion statement and a lifestyle choice.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrVEl4U1ZwT3lsT1RmZmoyMzFtcGNZWEZtVVYrSDdTM1JMNnl0RTVUTkFLdzBXaTN3cmIwUStmL1VUY3RGKzB5WHV4ajJJYlB2TEYyakE3dUhzM2xoREpWNFdFUUFJOHhUWExJdTJORjg1YnZKVTcwOVhPOWljWCtteVoxV2dXZmFZaTJiWGVhMlU2U0p5ajFMN2UvbXhFPQ%3D%3D/SELF+IRONY+QUOTES/(6af428c556a03c17e744ea5cdcbc04e8).jpg)
“I always have the best ideas in the shower, but by the time I dry off, they’re long gone.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZlVWZmtUT2FoWFhPQS9yZ2x6YkRic2lRMU4vY3hLTnh4TnVsMnJMMWlObzFGRzliaFZ3VE5wQWRSY2J5N3pnUXN6RCtZVEZxNEZ6dWFYR3JCT1ZqaFI0ZUQrQXBEM1pjOUxkYmdzM2ZHNlhXYmlFeGFZd1h6T1cxczBTL0NPRlFObjZUamlVK05QR25LbTRjZFBFWlpnPQ%3D%3D/SELF+IRONY+QUOTES/(c6b7fe6245dc5d93229efa92e90358a6).jpg)
“I often give myself excellent advice, but I’m usually too stubborn to follow it.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUUtIVVJ4Q1NsVHVBazMySjNmMktsN3diVk5oanUwY3FtSHAyZlJlclRUV3RxR2QxSG9wV0F1SGJtZlBXRkM1U0E4YlpnVnUvUDJkem5hNXBjN0o5K3lkMTh5b3h3ODJlYW4rM3dKbmo1SjBSNVlMRFhoS1dJbHIrMElpa0dMUDhBPT0%3D/SELF+IRONY+QUOTES/(50a3d5d62eece8652f497b9af14e6c93).jpg)
“I have an impeccable talent for overthinking the most trivial of decisions.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWkFNZ3FTOFhlTTdjdkxkWTBwUmsrZm15K3NqOW9YZ3NGT3I1L2NLMHF1OUxaYWl0YnRNUFlNa1Z6Ly91TS92blExcldBek5wRnFNcGNEcjB0ZS81N0JYNm1NWGw4Y28vYnA5L0pEL1VxaExOL0tnNWMrencxU3Y4OWprR0ZVR0VxSVRLdU4zU1B1dGVRY3dpOUo5Y1g2anRIUjJYSkxlblVGT3p0TS9nbHJoMHI4Q01uVktZK2R5VTFEVEVaeE9ldz09/SELF+IRONY+QUOTES/(8a76c8762293f14e5da2b3fb20500fb7).jpg)
“I like to think of myself as a multitasker, but most days I can barely handle breathing and blinking at the same time.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRY09UMmdFeHdKVXZqWFNyNitGbWJrMEVRanpnRVBSVi9vbnRITWV6SzdjRmRGc3RIakhzT0JYdExPZFJNWmpUczlSK2M4TlFiTy9FcHpBbVoxNXUyeGNPTU5ZK1BzNGZoMlJ6enZ1T0pFM2NESEp5MTcwdjVxZ0ZXeTgvSXNTWkVEWDlJRU1STWNlTmdrMW9VU1I3N0xz/SELF+IRONY+QUOTES/(258e54bbcb1c7410b7148cf143ceccff).jpg)
“I’m a master of self-sabotage – if there’s a wrong way to do something, I’ll find it.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRY3Jwc1NxYzB5b1lvem9zcm9SYnJSenA5Z0dEQ0Y4ZDhoZlNOV1NRVnlZeUlldVZ5SFBXbmtRVzFuL1FxRlB0emNLOHlTNzRNNVB2RDRwMFkvR0pKRjVkOTNFWTRuSjVubEw5YVpSK2trbFgxOXFtQWlwS2ZJYXdPOHZKL2Q0dWJUSkMvTi9xUVlBZkp1eWZXMGkzdy83/SELF+IRONY+QUOTES/(35223094698559febb5eb4de450b0cd2).jpg)
“I’m not so much a morning person as I am a ‘don’t-talk-to-me-until-noon’ person.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRY3VvMFdvcTN3Z1hjSERYNnhWTFlBNlAvc3J4WTF4VDB1WkRyUHZzc0hOZHVGSTRsc3QzOVVxNjFUWUZYaTVtUkJqaExRb0MvSTkrTk1ScHVrN0svTmxlVS9BZ0NzK2UxazFmZFN6cXpoOHJYUGxzazVmSlU2UCtTODNnUXkwSU43SU16SzJCcVEyYUNCcGExdUk2VTNuS0l5bGdwc2NEZWdUWGNQZWZQYVVnZz09/SELF+IRONY+QUOTES/(7aa79dfc4347d44f5c4d19ed842d00ef).jpg)
“I’m always the designated ‘I told you so’ friend. Turns out, I’m pretty good at predicting disasters.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZkVhK0JFMjlMelA5cU1kTnhkZTBWUGNxbm9JS3VLUm1DOWQwSkhHM1lIdTQ3L3VSVVN3V2RNSXllVVdiZXFudkdYRTYwdkE4UGpxWFpNRHkvRmJFK2t2ZVZ5eWUvd0RZQlI4UDJ2b3ZBd1JoUjdJQWJQUW9uRVBleWFMNTZ6SzZBPQ%3D%3D/SELF+IRONY+QUOTES/(179d4c852fe0fef3eb101925503ea504).jpg)
“I’m convinced my computer’s autocorrect has a personal vendetta against me.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUjdWMi9WaHpwcjFMOFBNaEM3dEltZHBRMnZ1MFMwbHJlVEN2aDVxZzFpQUh0TDVoSm4rYzFscURzK1l4UXlqZVZjZWt1UENhK2QzM1N2Rk9Gb3Q4UHdHaFNFS2hNTmMxczRDU3pQRzViNm9naEVxcVRTTU9DaGtSOWwwWjRoWmRndmZlcUtoV2dNV2RhU1BaWUV3QVlRPQ%3D%3D/SELF+IRONY+QUOTES/(e748373e616bb606649a80df296de83d).jpg)
“I can never decide what I want to eat until someone else orders something delicious.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZVIwbFd5ZktkT0IyUmkwV2hSc01BY0hOanMvMHJHY2RVY3B6ZDEvdTlxdGtjeVNrQWU3a3NnTE5QKzNUUXNxbVl1blFOVWxaQnZZT0x4OThMZ0lNVGIxZlBKS0wxM0VnamJNWVhTWU5oYTlRR2lZOEwwTTdFWlZhRWJOM21RWmtWRFF0MkpvNTBnZ0grYWV0ZGh0OFlN/SELF+IRONY+QUOTES/(a280469b665575be285b009ef7ad6058).jpg)
“I’m forever losing my phone, but somehow I always manage to find my way back to the fridge.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWmFubUhQZFI4WXVqcnd4V0lNeGR2Sy9UN1U1allzODlwUksxWGZiNDJZdnNaWFozRW1BRkZMdWFHRFZvSFBRRVJWYmxBNzJKc3pwYTFxSDFZUENDUmtCd3kwUk1xTkYzNE1hWGxGck5JQWl3cFFSTDNqOXBoT2QxRmQ2TlR6TVd1NEJIR0ZNc2VmRVh4Z0Ftb0RkaWl4QjErSXdYTlNaT0RHbnRSZlZpdWdyWlZhNzBkbTRaOCtjN25kaTJVWm9JbVByQ1FzemE0SFVMblNFcTRUcFFhaz0%3D/SELF+IRONY+QUOTES/(516a3c55575b85bfd6b21301c4c63bee).jpg)
“I can often be found wandering aimlessly in the grocery store, forgetting what I came for in the first place.” QUOTES ABOUT SAD LIFE LESSONS
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWkFNZ3FTOFhlTTdjdkxkWTBwUmsrZVU0b1Q4SGNGZHlER3Jnd1MvbitBL0VBU2YwMWpKTmNkZnVFQVVQUDQ1SXZWQWtrdEJ4TTd2SytNYmpvSlRtMmhGWitSZ0tnTDhXMGJwalJVSFJuKzZHNC9tTUE1QTl1RUdvK2FBeHVMbnRWcklTRmptd29scVVhMEYzL3MwU1dhVzFlZk5TS0gvYnk3NXQray9vWGlnclQ4eGRtblNSOTdIL1Z0bWdSbVBXZz09/SELF+IRONY+QUOTES/(39410ab8ec670a8210f755a526683457).jpg)
“I like to think I’m a good listener, but I often catch myself mentally planning what I’m going to say next.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRY1pwTldhT3NBdTFCQ1laR0YwSXdveVpGVkQ3UFhtUjdMb2tVWkRnWElTdEhlRHh0cmxoSUQ5dzVHeStMRnYrSWhSRlZUNlFqSVVITUNERTlFRWJvaEZOU01rQThQNVFjMXRKS3N2b0gwcGtwWDlSUmUveDkyZlJrK3BJS1g2NkRzPQ%3D%3D/SELF+IRONY+QUOTES/(c5d8f500cc0268b41719b54aa94066e1).jpg)
“I’m the queen of making plans and then coming up with a million excuses to cancel them.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRY0VsdTFTTWM1Yko2cmpjbUF1OVhUd2hPeDFMY3ZPbWtpWjNFanZMVG9SclFyYy9vUitqMExSV1IxZ0tCMTNDRHRWaFZ6ekhqN09qcjY3bGNiTGdTWkErcE9KQ0hLZjVabm9uaWw0aGkySE5rVm5JVGszYWNhempZRWRERTJ1TDQ4RW02cXYycjhPRUVQMFphYUxTa1RKMHJBYUhCMStEYmNCYldwZXFiQUZDdz09/SELF+IRONY+QUOTES/(f48226a1e1aa6f443aeaae8de0079f83).jpg)
“I’m great at giving advice on relationships, even though I’ve never successfully managed to keep a houseplant alive.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUUtIVVJ4Q1NsVHVBazMySjNmMktsNGhJN1c4QUp5b0FpYThwWk1WZ3hoSlZKVi9yc25aeGtJUlJpQkU4V2FYOTU0SGV6SkZDcTkyQ2JicGE4RGp0M1ZjU1AweEdQOFNoZ1o3Tm9EMHlaZ05INWwyN09jS2poaldZeTNXa25YSi9nPT0%3D/SELF+IRONY+QUOTES/(994bd3cdf1bc9c0ae2a2f6a85972c509).jpg)
“I have a special talent for arriving right on time… to the wrong place.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUjdWMi9WaHpwcjFMOFBNaEM3dEltZUIrM0djN0tYYzF4Zk5vbVNYWGxzdmpkM2JrVCtOUHdXMjlKbi9OdGtCWjZsK1FoMlhBd2MxN1F2eUlWeVVoL3o5SUFIcmIwRjRZdVNjMyt4U09JeTNJNHY3cUJuWGlTSGhFL3IvczJuOTRwMlN0WDBDZjNWeXpJREgrcmhkWmx1ejh1UkRtc3R0elk2T3pQQVd0WEE1/SELF+IRONY+QUOTES/(3b3e32c4167d4b04ba0f2defaf4712dc).jpg)
“I can never seem to find my glasses, but my ability to spot a sale from a mile away is unparalleled.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZHFLS1VselVSaURWZ3JLcE9naWtibm8vTkJVQXVCcnF5RitZOXB4Zm9BNzFEKzU2T3BzQ3VQN3pnSFpzQVJWclVRWm5zOFdLWEtvMmpqQVNaZ2l3QUZSSUs2aGQrYlpJanMyZWVmeHFsdkhJLzdLK0tKTzF3S24zZjN4amo0VmRPZXRXU2p0NStWalgySGxSZG1WVWNX/SELF+IRONY+QUOTES/(324f8491567f7f12706bca9aedeb81f2).jpg)
“I’m the person who always says they’re on a diet… and then orders the biggest slice of cake.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZUFTd2h6ZGo5MzNVYk45aUtEZkhLZVFCemt2b3o4Qm82TmtQZUErRS9EN2xyeFc5VWJZMUhpYUNtV0FiVmpQa0hKYXpja3BqNWgzbWVKaTVnOTNqZDNHeW9sbnFFOThvL2VzZjFLK0VROXBwekJveU0wd2V1TlRPTVovMDZLbEE4clQxajJKR0dWVDlZNGxCakEyWS9Q/SELF+IRONY+QUOTES/(3a2dae2f34e618ab41af3a2605f71cb4).jpg)
“I’ve mastered the art of making to-do lists that are longer than the actual time I have to complete them.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrYWhmeGNGbW1GMWxLdWl2aXhFeTlFQjZZVEYwdEpuREx0bzF1L0l0dVZqT09ITHVoaUx6T2ZCNUFMRlliQSswamphYmZ0TjRvMitSalRBRTExdlRJYlVIZHAyQ3gxeFNoK21KN3ZwdjgxSzZ2dXRyVFFHVEhhVkE5UHlLblVmbldCNCt1dWFxS0UrWFV5YWk5UzM0K1REbWVFTWlXR2wvc2l3T0lWby9PWWVU/SELF+IRONY+QUOTES/(c01b3f4795a652ee1626fad5f21ccdba).jpg)
“I pride myself on my excellent decision-making skills… but only when it comes to picking the wrong option.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZkFKcVFZWjZMZjkrd1NlbXdwS1ljRDc2THorL0V3WjBENEFrNEFVUDljYVZhbjJKc1ZPQWErNVJmK1B1RWhkWVFjbU84YmplRUxHQkx0VmZ6RzdBSU8xYXYvSUJpaGRveis5MFBEY3V6aDVFZmU5WnFER0tSdTNjbHBlaWhmR25YM2s4WGx6THI2TDFpZmRSdjBNdjZDNHZYSDAxaFZ0Yi9HcVBnaDQ3UEE1M0p5eXBUVVFnL2wxTms4N0V0cmUvWT0%3D/SELF+IRONY+QUOTES/(54bf3858c58b8eeeb80bd1373fc8ea12).jpg)
“I’m that person who can’t resist asking for directions… immediately after insisting I know exactly where I’m going.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrUUtIVVJ4Q1NsVHVBazMySjNmMktsNnZRVVo0aFc0YWlwMmdBL01VUG1Jb2F4TExHRjMxY3dFRW5DWTJVMTBvTExqVXV3T1pyWDR6OHVOcmh1UUs3cDJWS0pFWlJFUk5OV0plMjJBSTQ0VWt6Z2YyUEU5Z2NkMHc4Z3YzSTlscW9qd2VFbDdiaHZjV01QVHdHMTkyaGZvPQ%3D%3D/SELF+IRONY+QUOTES/(1d95c054fde4479c9229969056d747c9).jpg)
“I have an uncanny ability to spill coffee on myself the moment I put on a clean shirt.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrWkFNZ3FTOFhlTTdjdkxkWTBwUmsrY1lLemVBb1pqSE9WSjlySzdqTzJFcVE0aytJaFFUSTh2V0xlZHBlY3F2c1ArSVloWU0yYXpybElsWXE3ZVl4UFlta2ZJbmNZaUtLeHh2QkJoRjdXYzY2KzRja09sZjIxeVVaVi9sNHVRcDFOMnlyeGRvYjhIc0lUbDlGSFJZY2dnPQ%3D%3D/SELF+IRONY+QUOTES/(ceef75c4cbee6081c7dfc2a43ad5c9cb).jpg)
“I like to think that I have great self-control… until the dessert menu arrives.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZXJWV0xraWJGN0h0NVJZajA0Y1FVQy95aHJxQ3pWTEFMdEFrcmc0bmxGRldNQjB6aXAzQXhCKzVLc013Tkt1dlVKemJ1bDJLQkthcDZ0N3pOdnlNcnV4QVd4UEFBTVcyVlhvM3VzU3RudkRRRS95VkIwMUdxZEttN2hobkx4UktOZFBLcWsyeG0xQjFIVHRzUnlxUVRUa0lzbWo5Sk5ERDQ0cTlObmorUTBxQT09/SELF+IRONY+QUOTES/(d696bb165053a8e554fef127aaaf7ed0).jpg)
“I’m an expert at finding the perfect playlist to match my mood, but terrible at remembering to charge my phone.”
![](https://imi.abcradio.fm/quotes/preview/dTB4cGRsem5DcWlBMGVROWZJVXQrZHRmSmp0Q2ZWUnZGOUpMeTZGRzBRZWNGUGd0eWFidWxuL0JJaEZuTzZ0TzFLTGdkUVY1ZXVMWG84UTYzUTFWODIzZXNMRGMwUGRwMGV4YkFpNjlpeHFYc0Q2TXlhMVVETDlHVml6TlNId2NaYWJhakpYWWtTM3UyVm5OQXJ3YndvaUd4aEgyai9yNHQrQjNsUk5SZ292UU5jUklFZnpLNkNiaS9sc2piU2lr/SELF+IRONY+QUOTES/(83dad114efdc28bb71cc2c7613db0398).jpg)
“I’m always prepared for any situation… except when it comes to remembering people’s names.”