SHORT DAILY QUOTES FUNNY

“I haven’t lost my mind. Half of it just wandered off and the other half went looking for it.” – Unknown

“I’m not clumsy, I’m just dancing with the floor.” – Unknown

“Don’t take life too seriously, nobody gets out alive anyway.” – Unknown

“I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.” – Unknown

“I wish everything was as easy as getting fat.” – Unknown

“I may be a potato, but I’m a couch potato.” – Unknown

“I can resist everything except temptation.” – Oscar Wilde

“I’m not arguing, I’m simply explaining why I’m right.” – Unknown

“Being an adult is just walking around wondering what you’re forgetting.” – Unknown

“My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.” – Unknown

“If at first, you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.” – Unknown SHORT GOOD DAY QUOTES

“I tried to be normal once. Worst two minutes of my life.” – Unknown

“I’m not saying I’m Batman, I’m just saying nobody has ever seen me and Batman in the same room.” – Unknown

“I’m not short, I’m concentrated awesome.” – Unknown

“I don’t need an inspirational quote, I need coffee.” – Unknown

“I’m not addicted to chocolate, chocolate is addicted to me.” – Unknown

“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.” – Jim Carrey

“I would lose weight, but I hate losing.” – Unknown

“I tried exercising once, but I found I was allergic to it. My skin flushed, and my heart raced. I got sweaty, lightheaded, and sore. So I gave it up.” – Unknown

“I put the ‘pro’ in procrastination.” – Unknown

“I’m not lazy, I’m just conserving energy for future obligations.” – Unknown