SHORT DUMB QUOTES

“I’m not lazy, just on energy-saving mode.”

“I tried being normal once. Worst two minutes of my life.”

“Brains aren’t everything. In your case, they’re nothing.”

“I may be dumb, but at least I’m not as dumb as a rock. Most of the time.”

“If common sense was a superpower, some people would still be powerless.”

“I’m not saying I’m perfect. I’m just saying I have no flaws. How dumb is that?”

“I’m not clumsy, I just like to randomly rearrange the floor.”

“If I had a dollar for every time someone called me dumb, I’d probably lose it.”

“I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but I’m still useful.”

“I’m fluent in three languages: English, sarcasm, and dumbness.”

“I’m not crazy, my reality is just different than yours – and probably dumber.”

“Some people bring light into a room; I bring laughter, mostly at myself.”

“Just because I can’t spell, doesn’t mean I can’t make words up.”

“I’m not slow, I’m just practicing being a sloth.”

“I’m not dumb, I’m just creatively challenged in the intelligence department.” QUOTES ABOUT REVISING

“I may not have a PhD, but I have a degree in making dumb decisions.”

“I’m smart enough to know that I’m not smart enough.”

“I’m not clumsy, I’m just dancing with gravity.”

“I’m not saying I’m a genius, but I could probably fool one for a minute or two.”

“I’m not a complete idiot – some parts are missing.”

“I’m not lazy, just highly motivated to do nothing.”

“I’m not dumb, I’m just really good at pretending to be.”

“I’m not absent-minded, I’m just present in my own little world.”

“I’m not forgetful, I just have selective memory.”

“I’m not saying I’m unlucky, but if life gave me lemons, I’d probably squeeze them into my eyes.”

“I’m not saying I’m a superhero, but nobody has seen me and Batman in the same room together.”

“I’m not slow, I just have my own pace – and it’s set on turtle mode.”

“I’m not a know-it-all, but I know enough to know I don’t know much.”